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It sounds perfect--!!! Don't worry about not having a 'traditional' reception!! Best wishes!
I have been to a reception like this and it was lovely. People enjoyed wine, conversation and great food at a really good restaurant. I think its great!
It sounds very nice. Nothing more needed if you don't want to. But why so far away?? That seems like the trip etc, will be very hard and stressful.
@rlsulli1598@verizon.net: We are a same sex couple and it's our only legal option, which is very important to us. We are in Texas so out of the available options (Iowa, Massachusetts, etc) Iowa is the cheapest and closest, plus it is where my FI grew up. 
I do wish it didn't have to be so far but that's the way it is.. so I'm trying to minimize stress where I can!
I think it sounds fine. The restaurant might be able to put tealight candles or something on the table for you - a wedding I went to in a restaurant had that and you really don't need anything else especially when you have such a small group of people. People are there to see you get married and celebrate, not critique your decorations :)
I think it sounds lovely. At the end of the day, you'll have the people you love, good food, wine, and cake! Why would you need anything else? We do get a bit enthralled by all the frills and frippery around here, but that's all just fun icing on a great cake, so to speak. Would there be an option in town for an after party/ disco or something, if ye did want to go dancing after?
My FSILs (two in same week) did a DW in Rome, so we all schlepped over there. Weddings were so relaxed, it was great. Sightseeing all morning, ceremony at 3, then back to hotel, brides wanted to change, then we actually wandered the city til we found a restaurant that could accommodate 40 of us on no notice! Then we simply colonised the best Irish bar in town, and spent the night singing!
Now I personally like the idea of actually having the dinner booked, like yourself. But you're really missing nothing with your current plan. Maybe as PP said, candles in addition to table linens - Lots of candles. Cheap, but effective, and cosy too.
@aunt pol: That sounds like a blast (the Rome weddings)! Just lovely and fun!
Thanks everyone. I was worrying needlessly AGAIN. It's my specialty! I will ask the restaurant about candles and such and then just try and chill a bit!! I feel like this wedding planning is bringing up ALL my neurotic tendencies at once! I am someone who never "entertains" and I get nauseated when I even have to deal with planning a simple b-day party for one of the kids. Neither FI or I are very social and we're both introverts so this whole thing is just weird for us!
I wouldn't be bothered at all and would appreciate the intimacy. It actually sounds rather lovely and if not for my mother's wishes, I would have done something similar.
If you really wanted some sort of centrepiece, maybe tea lights (they're really cheap) and you could put paper lanterns surrounding them? Or floating tea lights, because they're rather pretty.
People can get bored even at big lavish receptions, so it's really how well your reception is planned that will ensure whether people will have a great time. Good luck. :)
It sounds wonderful (and a lot like what I am planning to do). Candles are always nice or maybe just some photos/copies of photos of you and your FH. It's a conversation piece and you probably already have these. Enjoy
The only "standards" your wedding needs to match up to is your own. If you want simple, go simple! It sounds very intimate and cozy!
Do what makes you and your FI happy, that is what it is really all about.
@MsInterpret - I am from Iowa and know the whole state pretty well. If you need any recommendations on anything, let me know. If I don't know, I am sure I have people who know.
Best of luck!!!
I love the idea! Actually, that is more or less exactly what my fiance and I are planning on doing except we are were planning on decorating the tables at the resturant a little with paper flowers because that is the look we liked and we wanted it to be a little decorated. The only thing I would suggest is that, somewhere on the invite you make it clear somehow that you are just planning on going out to a resturant after the ceremony rather than the whole 9 yards of having a formal reception... maybe say something like ceremony to be held at.... dinner to follow at.... resturant. Just so your guests will know what to expect especially if they will be traveling. It might be bad if guests expect a formal reception with dancing and a dj and all that, travel all that way, and not know that's not the plan.
I'm having my reception at an awesome "family" restraunt/pankoekenhuis (pancake house). It's only 40 people and a buffet. The restraunt is taking care of all the decorations (ie they'll provide flowers in my colors as part of the cost) and will have candles and such.
I am SOOOO happy I don't have to decorate. ;-)
So no, I don't think you're missing anything! Have fun, relax, and let the restraunt do the work!!
We had our reception at a restaurant, and I decided early on that decorating the venue wasn't important to me. We made sure to choose a space that we thought had enough appeal on it's own, and we saved a ton of money by not decorating!
We were going for more of a relaxed cocktail party vibe, so we figured that the open bar and fancy apps would be enough, and it was!
Sounds really nice, actually. With a group that size, everyone will be really important to you, and your guests will enjoy getting to know eachother. I just had a bigger wedding, and didn't do a whole lot of the traditional stuff, and no one missed it.
Our reception after the ceremony was very similar. We took our guests (only a dozen of them) to lunch in the private dining room of a nearby Legal Sea Foods. I figure that Legal Sea Foods needs to create a nice atmosphere 365 days a year, so I'd just rely on whatever their existing decorations were. We didn't even have a cake, just individual servings of triple chocolate layer cake. We had a champagne toast, and instructed the restaurant to put bottles of red and white wine out. We then told the restaurant that if someone ordered other alcohol, we'd pay for it, but they were not to suggest it.
We had no music or dancing. We didn't toss bouquets or garters (even though we had two of each). The dude of honor and the maid of honor gave toasts, but that was about it for the formalities.
It ended up being a wonderful, convivial meal, and no one complained about the lack of "traditional" reception activities. Actually, our guests may have gotten a little too relaxed; my 51-year-old sister started a whipped cream fight with my 27-year-old son/dude of honor.
Oh, and FWIW, we did a cake cutting, music, and first dance at our at-home reception.
@2dBride: Awesome suggestion about the wine! I would really like to discourage the ordering of pricey drinks 
AND the over-consumption of alcohol, in general.. but I like a good glass of red myself and don't want to deny alcohol either. Sounds like a great happy medium! At this point we aren't even sure we will still have a reception at home. If enough people actually come to the out of state wedding then we won't do it.
FI would really like a first dance to happen but I don't know if there will be room and she said she can deal if not.
We totally want a cake though. Just a smaller one but fully "wedding"-y.
@ldyparadox99: I am pretty happy about it too... my reasoning was that if we choose a nicer restaurant then it will be "decorated" anyway, or at least have real linens! I'm lazy. I don't decorate for holidays aside from a Christmas tree and a few strings of light outside. My mother thinks it's horrible. Whatever.
@lulu mae: Since I originally posted this FI and I have talked about maybe a few paper flowers (Mexican style) and a papel picado that is designed for weddings (Mexican paper banners)... because she is of Mexican heritage AND because we live in a part of the country where we can walk any direction 2 blocks and get all these things very inexpensively. Assuming these will be allowed, it seems like it would be "just enough". Then maybe some Mexican wedding cookies for favors along with the luggage tag ones I already planned.
We'll definitely clarify on the invites that it's just dinner, good suggestion!
@cheapchicbride: I really appreciate that and I will message you! We have been flying blind here. There's one awesome contact we've made in the town where we're marrying and he is super helpful but there are things he doesn't know. FI lived there until age 16 but not in this part of Iowa, in fact, when she saw the pics of the area the town is in she was blown away and couldn't believe it is in IOWA because it looks so different from where she grew up! We're getting married in Decorah, in NE Iowa, and right now my latest issue is finding bakeries that are close enough that they'll deliver without costing a bundle, especiall bakeries that have reviews online and photos and some sort of web presence!
@lulu mae: We'll definitely make it clear on the invitation, good suggestion too!
@cliffette: We were thinking of little cherry blossom cake lights that are sold as favors, since we're plannign on a cherry blossom cake! :) Just a few candles. Again I don't want to haul a bunch of decor stuff up there with me but a few things wouldn't be too cumbersome!
It sounds like it will be an awesome event to me! I LOVE the extra touch of Mexican wedding cookies for favors. I think that will be so cute to go along with the Mexican flowers/theme!
Also, if your FI wants to do the first dance I think you should def pick a song for your first dance and make sure it's on your ipod when you go. Do you have any portable speakers or is there a speaker jack at the resturant?- I remember you mentioned having the ipod for background music at the resturant.. I'm sure with your private room at the resturant there'll be enough room for you andyour FI to have your first dance! :)
Sounds perfect. If you have some extra $ in the end, splurge on some simple cut flowers in vases for the tables. And btw, congratulations! The wedding should suit the bride, not society's expectations. My sister's wedding was on a pier (Navy Pier, actually, before it was a tourist attraction) with 10 people and then a reception at a decent restaurant. My hubands's friends got married at the GU chapel and then had a simple, no dancing reception at a very upscale restaurant-1789. To each her own I say (this coming from the bride with the ridiculous wedding. )
@lulu mae: I'll find out about a speaker jack, but I think one of the kids has tiny portable speakers, I know I remember buying them so I will just use theirs. I will probably take over my son's IPOD too. He'll be less than thrilled but I only have a little MP3 player that doesn't hold as much, so he can let me use his, I'm sure.
We can always MAKE room for one dance, right?!
@eileen marie: Thank you! I like to hear of small weddings that went well, because that's been a worry of mine, that the size of our wedding would equal boring.... but I can't do anything about it, and I can only blame it on our general lack of sociability up to this point! ;)
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I'm just not feeling the whole "decorate" thing, or 1st dance thing, or any garter/bouquet tossing and so forth when it comes to the reception and I'll tell you what I'm thinking here...
Wedding is in another state. We have to haul ourselves plus 3 kids and my brother from Texas to Iowa at the start of Spring Break (we're full time students as well).. once we get to Iowa we're going to need to finalize things that we just cannot do from here and get settled. We'll be arriving on a Saturday evening, wedding will be Thursday afternoon and we will still have to consider/deal with cake, my bouquet, hearing some live music in person to finalize music selections, (people with no website offerings), possibly need to find a cleaners and have things pressed, etc. Oh and not to mention shuttling some out of town guests from the airport that's 2.5 hours away to the place we are actually marrying!
Our guest list is 49 people and we are expecting maybe a max of 30 to actually show up. Probably more like 20. Forty were show up and I'd faint dead away in shock. So, we're planning to go from the ceremony (small church) to a very nice restaurant in town with a party room that holds 55 people and just have a nice dinner, maybe some wine or champagne, and cake.
I guess I am wondering if this is "enough" for a reception? We will have some favors for guests, the room is supposed to be private and soundproof so maybe some background music via the Ipod... and hope to just chill and enjoy everyone's company without the usual reception stuff, including decorating. I am feeling overwhelmed as it is in planning everything else already from over 1000 miles away, and I don't want to spend on rental stuff, and I am not lugging an extra suitcase up there either!
Would you be bothered by a reception that is so low key and lacking in decorations and all the usual dances and so forth? I can see a toast or two and some low key cake celebration but that's really all I was thinking.
The room in the restaurant is nice, I kind of feel like that's sufficient, but wanted others' thoughts. Dinner will include a choice of 3 entrees, the place is very very popular in this town and highly recommended for food and service, there will be limited alcohol and cake, as I said.
I am thinking that since it's not exactly an empty banquet hall and they'll have tablecloths and all that already, do I really need to worry about centerpieces or flowers or whatever? My budget is pretty exact as it is and there's not much room at this point for stretching.
Is there something elegant and low key I might want to consider doing but I possible haven't considered? Not implying that the other things are "not elegant" at all! Just not our style. Will the guests be bored to tears?