Too much drama over a pic…

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
933 posts
Busy bee

What would you tell a friend if she were in this situation?

Member
375 posts
Helper bee

I would be turned off by this request. If someone wanted to see a picture of my fiance, I would send them one photo, of the two of us together. That whole request is just…strange. The fact that your fi is going along with his moms odd request is beyond me.

Member
36 posts
Newbee

Wait, I’m confused.  Why would your FMIL want so many pictures of you in different outfits?  And why does your FI care so much about what pictures you sent to his family?  This isn’t a modeling gig you’re trying to book. 

This whole situations makes no sense.  Sounds like they’re all a bunch of superficial a**holes to me. 

Member
9070 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Wow.  The request for pictures was odd.  The expectation that they be glamour shots is crazy.  Your FIs reaction is downright INSANE.  If you had ever intention of marrying him, I’d seriously give it some second thought after this ordeal.

Member
8152 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

OMG.  Surprised

The first thing that comes to mind is PLEASE do not marry into this horrible family.  I’m speechless.  I don’t know what to say to help you other than RUN FAST away from these people.  Nothing about this situation is normal or healthy. 

He just TOLD you his mother has already told him you are NOT the right one for him and he BELIEVES her!! 

Please, please save yourself many years of misery and break up with this inconsiderate, selfish, immature, unloving, unkind Mama’s boy.

And, to you – (((HUGS)))   You do not deserve to be treated this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mishaten: You are not wrong. Your FI and his mother are seriously wrong and very weird about this. I can only begin to imagine what is prompting this behavior — are they hoping FI’s grandfather will pay for the wedding if he approves of your appearance? This is really messed up.

He said “It has been a week since you were asked to send them. Mum called me up and said that it seems you are not serious about the wedding. She’s been telling me from the start that you are not right for me and looks like she’s right.”

You DID send the photos.

FI relaying that his mother thinks you’re not right for him — F*ed up. FI thinking his lack of acceptance of the quality of the photos you sent meaning his mother is right — f*ed up beyond belief. I’m so sorry you’re in this position, but this man does NOT deserve you.

Member
13753 posts
Honey Beekeeper

They want you to basically get “glamour shots” right this second so they can approve of you and prove that you are good enough to marry!?  That is a rediculous request.

Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

no offense but your FI sounds like a superficial douchebag, and your FMIL sounds crazy. I would not marry into this family (and my future inlaws are kind of crazy themselves, so that says a lot)

Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Whoa, no, you’re not wrong for balking at this drama. Your FI and his fam are being REALLY kooky. You are not their personal barbie doll. Her request was weirdly specific and detailed in the first place, you tried to meet her demands anyway, and then your FI said the photos were ”not good enough” ?! Further, you in a week have not completed this bizarre and perhaps impossible task you did not volunteer for, therefore his mom “looks like she’s right for saying you are not right for him” ….Your FI seiously said this??? Whatwhatwhat!!!

This is just so crazy on their parts I don’t know what to think. I have a really hard time imagining what might be going on here.

Member
2384 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry, but I fail to see why such specific photos of you are needed.  That seems very weird to me.  Why are the current ones you have good enough?  I get wanting to show your best side, but taking a bunch of brand new photos is a bit extreme.  I’d be pissed that

1. My FI said that there are no good current pictures of me, that’s pretty rude and hurtful

2. That the new pictures weren’t good enough

3. That my seriousness about the wedding hinges on whether or not I send specific pictures to my FMIL

4. That I’m not right for him because I didn’t take super nice pictures and send them within a week

So I’m on your side, I think your FILs and your FI are WAY out of line and would take serious issue about his comment about you not being right for him.  I don’t know you or your FI or your relationship, but for me, it would be a red flat that he said this and a red flag that he sided with his mother and not you.

I’m sorry your FI is being such a dick.  I hope you can work it out.  Personally though, I would dump his superficial ass.

Member
3891 posts
Honey bee

@pinkshoes:  Exactly this. Crazy request and reactions. I’d consider if you really want to move forward with things.

Member
872 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like FI’s family treats women like chattel and he shares in that belief. RUN RUN RUN.

Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m very confused as to why you needed to send you FILs pictures of yourself in the first place.

I would not marry someone who told me that any picture of me wasn’t good enough and says that I’m not committed to getting married to him.

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