Post # 1
I am so stressed out. I don’t know what to do. We are on a search for our first home, I am graduating from college, we’re going to Europe for my friends wedding, and we are getting married this year. First off, we cant afford all this… Should we not go to my friends wedding? I haven’t seen her for 13 years, but I’ve known her all my life and talk to her all the time.
Should we put off buying a house until next year?
Do you think buying a house will affect will affect having a wedding?
If you’ve done this, or you’re currently doing it, PLEASE tell me how you’re doing it. I am so stressed out.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
We got engaged and bought a house at the same time but were able to afford both with relevant ease. That will depend on your budget tho. When we were moving it was very stressful but I was still 11 months from the wedding so I wasn’t overwhelmed with planning.
As for your friends wedding I have a friend planning a trip to England and I know how much she’s saving so I know it can get expensive! It seems like a reasonable thing to cut out, especially if you haven’t seen your friend in so long, but that is really up to you. It’s a once in a lifetime (hopefully) occurence so maybe you do want to be there for her?
Post # 4
Yikes that seems like a ton!
I’m graduating, we’re travellng and getting married all in a few months. I couldn’t imagine adding the house – I’m glad we’ll focus on that on its own. Can you separate it into chunks? Tack a honeymoon onto the wedding trip so you can relax? Maybe hold back on buying the house till you recover from paying for the wedding (if you’re paying for it not parents or something). It’s all super exciting, but if you’re feeling stressed why rush?
Post # 5
Yeah I did this. In one year I had surgery, moved to a new state, started a new job, bought a house, and got married. Actually all of that in about 6 months.
It was incredibly stressful and I never want to do it again but now I’m married and settled and happy.
I don’t really have any advice but I do empathize.
Post # 6
I would definitely skip the friend’s wedding. Your own wedding, your own house, and finishing college (and I assume looking for a job) are way higher priorities. Simply tell the truth: you are too busy and can’t afford it.
Post # 7
I feel really awful just becaue she’s going to come here for our wedding. Her wedding is in the summer and mines in october. She just got engaged and completely ruined our plans haha. Not to be mean or anything, but we were already searchign for a home, planning a wedding, and doing all the extra stuff before she got engaged. Agh wish I can somehow convince her to move her wedding to next year… too selfish of me right?
I don’t think I have the heart to do that. :
Post # 8
@paula1248: Great advice!
Send your love and a card with a check, but skip going to Europe. Make travel plans to Europe for your honeymoon if possible, and take a day or two during your honeymoon to spend time with your very good friend and new husband. I call this a twofer, honeymoon and belated good friend/wedding visit in one. 😉
Post # 9
I think its ok to bow out of attending the other wedding…. maybe you can do a little dinner w her and the new DH a day or so before your wedding to celebrate w her? will she be staying for a long visit
Post # 10
@mishagirls79: Thats a very great point! We aren’t even honeymooning this year because I will be graduating in December. I will be in school in October, which really sucks.
I am going to have to have a nice talk with her. I hope she doesn’t get too upset for not going.
Post # 11
@littlemisshostess: To be honest, if I don’t go to her wedding, she will not come to mine. I just know it.
Post # 12
@babylo0n: So if she doesn’t go to your wedding, that’s the way it is. I wouldn’t let that sway your decision on whether to spend a couple of thousand(?) dollars attending hers. If she gets upset and *expects* you to attend her wedding, then she’s not acting like a good friend.
Post # 13
@babylo0n: Would it be possible to extend your trip for her wedding into a honeymoon for you two? I think with it being so far and her just starting to plan her wedding, she might in the end not be able to go to yours either, which might help you not feel so guilty. Good luck!
Post # 14
Thank you ladies.
I am going to have a talk with her soon and see what will work best. You’re all right, it’s too much and it’s not fair for us to put aside purchasing our home because of her. Going to Europe will cost us more than $5k and I rather put that towards our new home or our wedding.
Happy Holidays, Everyone 🙂