(Closed) too needy?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I definitely think that as you get more comfortable in your relationship and have been together longer, the affection can tend to go down a little bit – it’s perfectly natural! If it’s really bothering you, I’d try to sit down with him and have a conversation about how you’re feeling and explain that you need more affection. Hopefully if you explain what’s going on, he will try to be more affectionate!

Post # 4
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband isn’t really as touchy feely as he was when we first started going out.  I wonder if it has to do with the end of the honeymoon phase of the relationship a long time ago.

Post # 5
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s pretty normal for the initial lust to wear off after a couple of years…I know ours certainly did…but that doesn’t mean I need to beg for hugs and kisses, those are still on offer 24/7 🙂 To me those are in a different ball park to actual sex…they are about showing affection and closeness, and if your Fiance did it initially but not anymore that’s a bit strange to me. More talking required probably 🙂

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with mountain.bride.  There is definitely a commonality to a loss of the excitement and newness.  And it goes with the territory that some things fade a bit.  But hugs and kisses, aren’t a ton of effort.  “I’m so beat from the office, honey.  I couldnt possibly give you a hug..”  Doesn’t sound right.  But that doens’t necessarily mean something terrible is going on.  Maybe it is his personality to be like that.  Maybe before when he was being affectionate, he was really pushing himself to be the guy he thought you wanted.

I’d talk to him about it.  BUt I wouldn’t freak out about it.

Post # 7
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe he is nervous about the wedding b/c he’s in that 2 year slump or whatever. I know i went through that phase where I didn’t want to be all over Darling Husband all the time or hang out with him all the time (basically no puppy love) and i questioned whether or not I should be with someone i wasn’t over the moon with. In the end, we talked about it and it was just a transition of being in lust to being in love and was perfectly normal. If he’s ignoring you, he could be feeling overwhelmed and confused.

Post # 8
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think if you are not getting what you need it is a problem.  I don’t think your expectations are too high.  You deserve to have your needs met.

Some people are more affectionate, touchy/feely with their SOs by nature… and maybe your Fiance just isn’t that affectionate?  I agree that it is normal for the lust wears off after awhile… but for me this was independent of other physical affection. 

Post # 9
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I’ve noticed that my Fiance is not as affectionate as he was when we first started going out.  We don’t have make out sessions anymore, for example.  We do hug and give each other kisses, but it’s definitely not the same as it was in the beginning.  I’m not too bothered by it, because as Amanda said, we’re both more comfortable in the relationship at this point.  I would definitely talk to him again and stress how this is making you feel.

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