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I don't think that's too pushy at all! It's an honest question, and he did tell you to ask everything on your mind. One question is not shoving marriage down his throat, plus he's already not against marriage, so he should be willing to answer that question and not be freaked out. Even if it does surprise him a bit, he seems to want you in his life for a long time coming, so it shouldn't repel him at all and it might make him really think about it.
I don't think it's pushy, I think it's honest. There's a difference between saying "I want to get married yesterday and this is Priority Number One and either you're on board or you're gone" and saying "hey, do you think you might want to get married and have kids one day down the line?" What you said is definitely closer to the second option. If those things are priorities to you, you need to know that they're important to him too- if you want to get married and have kids, you're entitled at a certain point to make sure the man you're with is on the same page, at least in theory, because if he's not, you aren't going to change his mind and you need to move on.
I think you were perfectly restrained and asked it right without being pushy. He opened that door, maybe it's what he was hoping to hear to sure himself up. :)
I don't think it's pushy at ALL. It sounds like he will be open to your question. It's going to be a difficult wait while you send it, he gets it, writes you back, and sends his, geez, that would drive me nuts! Good luck. :)
@Peachcream: I dont' feel like it's too pushy, considering he asked you what your opinion was. Y ou should give it to him straight. I think he was sticking his toes in the water with his nice note. It was lacking specifics, but THIS for a MAN to write is saying a lot. It takes guts to put your vulnerabilities out there, so I'm proud of him for bringing it up in the first place. Lay it out there for him. He might secretly be hoping you will so that he can delve into the topic with you. And if you have different goals, at least you know what you can compromise on and what you simply can't.
not pushy at all. you are being honest about your feelings and if you are not brave enough to be honest with him, your relationship will not move forward. stop stressing :)
Not too pushy you were upfront and honest in your question asking. Nothing wrong with knowing if you guys are on the sam page or will be.
Thanks ladies- I'll let you know how it goes. You guys are awesome. - p.s how do I let you all know? Lol- I'm new to this xxx thanks again!!!
re post with "update"!!looking forward to hearing from you! I bet he's just feeling you out for a proposal!
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Hello sexy ladies,
Hmm how do I not stretch this out to long? Ok well a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post in regards to my boyfriend asking me to write him a letter with all of my hopes dreams goals for the future ( He is in the war in afgan at the moment). We have been living together for about 8 months and we have been seeing eachother for about a year an a half... im 26 he is 28 and he will be back mid this year.
I was asking people if they think that I should write about my desigre to get married sometime in the near future ( amoungst my other plans) or whether I should wait for his hopes dreams goals letter to get to me first so I could suss out what his expectations were before I pushed the marrige card..
I ended up writing to him a very general letter which was kind of like , I want to get better at my job, I want to have financial security, and I want to have an amazing partner who loves me as much as I love him. ( you feeling the general?)
anyway I received his letter a couple of days ago and it was really lovely - it said stuff like I want my job to take a back seat so we can create more memories together, I want to get a dog, he wants to see me improve with my studies, and where he sees us living in the future and then he said " If there is anything you should get out of my rambling is that you are in all of my plans"
- I thought this letter was awesome and I appreciate that he can communicate this to me, its just that I already knew I was in his future plans- these are subjects that we have discussed before he left - So to be honest with you while it was lovely I was expecting something a little bit more serious i.e plans for us to be more than boyfriend and girlfriend...especially seeing as it was his idea to start all of this opening up stuff....
he mentioned in his letter that he wants to know everything baout me and that I should not hold back with the questions....
So I replied to his letter very positivley saying that our goals and dreams match up nicely and that I share his desigre to create more memories with eachother.
In my concluding sentence I wrote "Where do you see marrige and children fitting into the grand scheme of things?" One sentence in a 4 page letter---- TOO MUCH??
Any chance you think he might of wanted to hear this from me?
Do you think that he might be feeling me out for a proposal?
Do you think that last sentence of mine will freak him out?
I dont see how you couldnt think of getting married but could think about what out house would look like in 20 years time... ( FYI he is not against marrige at all)
Thanks ladies... Im very anxious about this ...any feedback would be appreciated..