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OK. fellow bees, I need your opinion. I found a dress that is more perfectly suited for my body. I love how it looks on me and I love how I feel in it. The thing is, my future sis in law wore the exact same dress at her wedding two years ago! But then I found Maggie Sottero's Autumn. Different designer, material and some slight differences in details like a corset back. But is it too similar to my FSIL's gown? Would it be too tacky to wear the dress even though its not technically the same? How would you feel if you were my FSIL?
Autumn_Front.jpg (136.1 KB, 86 downloads) 2 years old CAS_1831-2.jpg (56.8 KB, 72 downloads) 2 years old 
I honostly don't think alot of people will notice. Of course your FSIL will, but I am sure she will be flattered. It could be something you guys can bond over.
But none of that really matters, as long as you feel it is the perfect dress for you. I say go for it.
mmmm... ok.... i dont want to sound harsh so let do this slow... i know it has been 2 years but people have pic of her wedding and someone will notice... i think you should look for the same silhouette but something that doesnt look soooo close to her dress. but if you reallyyyyyy are in love with that dress... do it... its your wedding after all.
Hmm.. I could see how some women could get upset over this. Personally i wouldn't care! I think it just depends on what your FSIL is like. In the end though that's your dream dress, and she couldn't possibly hold a grudge for very long!
I think it depends on your FSIL. I wouldnt really want anything so close, but if its what you want and she doesnt mind then go for it. Do you think you could ask her? I really dont know if it would bother her, it depends on her personality. I think it would really annoy some people while others wouldnt care. To be perfectly honest I would find it a little strange if my FSIL in law wanted practically the same dress just because there are so many different dresses to choose from.
They are pretty similar, I went through the same thing. Out of my top 2 choices, one was very similar to my FSIL and her wedding was this year, so it would be within one year of mine, I figured it was too close in time. If you love it, I would bring it up to her (FSIL), but personally I decided to go with the other dress so it wouldn't be too much of the same since I did want my dress to be different.
The dresses are very similar, but isn't imitation the sincerest form of flattery? If I were you FSIL I would be flattered that you liked the style of my dress enough to purchase a similar one. Also, if you love the dress and the fit you should go for it. You can make the dress your own with accessories.
Actually, when you think of it, there aren't a lot of non-strapless gowns out there. I tell the salespeople what I'm looking for - non-strapless, A-line, V-neck, no beads (not a big fan of beads) and they always bring up the Casablanca dress (the one my FSIL wore). I looked and looked high and low for a simple, yet elegant, non-strapless gown with all of my preferences--nothing out there. They tell me that the Casablanca gown is pretty much the only non-strapless gown close to those features I'm looking for. I've seen Pronovias gowns with similar sillouhettes but they are way out of my price range. When I saw the Maggie gown, it was perfect. The Casablanca gown had a little beads on the bodice and is taffeta. The Maggie gown is satin, no beads and has a corset. It's like an upgraded version of the Casablanca gown.
But I don't know, I suppose brides get really territorial over gowns (even when there are hundreds of other women who have probably worn that same gown). I honestly did not remember my FSIL's gown when I first tried on the Casablanca gown (I attended the wedding two years ago). It wasn't until I saw a photo of my FSIL's wedding did it occur to me that it might be the same dress. My wedding is in August so it will be three years after my FSIL's wedding. Her sister tells me I should be fine. I think I will just run it past her and see what she thinks.
They are VERY similar... honestly I think weddings are a touchy subject when it comes to this type of thing, some people get really annoyed/offended by certain things, and this could be one of them, I'm not sure how your FSIL is, but I might be weirded out by it, they're just very similar... sorry if that's not what you want to hear, personally I'd want my dress to be something different than what someone else I knew had, but if you really love this dress, I'd fish around and talk to her to figure out if you think she would mind... it might be hard to know if she's being truthful or not, but at least you tried, rather than just buying a dress similar to hers, and then her noticing it on her own. Hope this helps... good luck with what you decide!
BTW, I'm not dying to wear the gown because my FSIL wore something similar to it. I never even had a great look at my FSIL's gown because she only wore it for the ceremony (she told me she wore another reception gown). I love the Maggie gown because it it completely fits everything I was looking for in a gown. It sucks that there's hardly any other variations out there on the non-strapless gown I'm looking for. Looks like I'll just have to settle for something else.
I would just get the dress you want. It'll be 3 years. It should be fine!
BTW I had similar requirements to you and ended up getting the totally awesome Augusta Jones Anya, but if I had found this David's Bridal dress earlier I would've bought it
You have to order it online but it's so cheap that I would just order it and see if it works. You can return without alterations. I do love my dress but it was a lot of money. In fact, I'm going to have to sell it after my February wedding: http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/augusta-jones-anya-size-1210-available-after-220-perfect-for-busty-bees
Honestly it almost looks like the same dress. I would maybe consider something else.
I agree that it is hard to find a dress that looks different when you don't want beads, strapless and simple. I say do it. I tried on the Casablanca and I like the Maggie better AND I think it looks different in the back especially.
I found these three that are different yet similar (with a little beading)
http://www.allurebridals.com/index.php?id=3&product_id=2
I personally think it doesn't matter. But I'm not a super touchy bride. It would only make me angry if someone wore the same dress before me, not after...especially not 2 years after...
I'm not touchy at all but I would be a little sad if my FSIL wanted to wear practically the same dress however, there is no problem with you asking her if she would mind. But be prepared to respect her decision.
have you seen the following from Maggie Sottero all with straps:
Aliyah
Blaire
June
Lindel
Lucille
Passion
Hala
Iliana
Layne
Zannah
Marilyn
A few have beads. But you will be surprise of things you like after trying them on! Good Luck!!!
If it's 'the' dress for you, I would just go for it. If you guys aren't twins you won't look exactly the same and to 95% of the population at large just looks like a 'wedding dress'. If people make comments, just say: "Yeah, I guess it is kind of similar. She has great taste".
Are you the same size as her? Can you just borrow her dress? And save some serious cash?
Maybe I'm being too practical here, but if you borrow her dress it would make it 'sentimental', still get you the dress that rocks your bod, and save on the budget!
I guess it depends on how close you and your FSIL are, and the kind of personality she has. For me personally, I'd feel flattered if someone wore a similar dress as me. My FSIL on the other hand would rant and rave if I ever tried to copy anything of hers. I would suggest, maybe talk to her and see how she'd feel about it, so you can avoid any uncomfortable situations.
Honestly I think the only way she (or anyone) would have reason to get upset is if she had had a dress totally custom-made and you ripped off the style and had your own made. But wearing the same dress that is sold in hundreds of stores across the country 3 years later? Who cares!?
I like @daydreamwanderer's idea of just borrowing hers!
Why don't you ask her if it would bother her? If it doesn't bother either of you, then go for it. But personally I would want something different, something my own
I like the idea of asking her to borrow it if you're close. It sounds like you might not be all that close though. If my FSIL (if they go down that road) asked, I would be totally cool with her wearing it but I'm pretty laid back about things. Some girls aren't as laid back. Just bring it up or maybe have your fiance bring it up to feel her out.
The only difference I see in the dresses is the direction of the roushing. I really like the third Allure dress that mrscringle2be posted. A little beading jazzes it up and makes it seem different.
Being in a sort-of similar situation - my FSIL got engaged 3 months after us, set her date for 4 weeks before ours, then 'borrowed' my wedding colors, invitations, cake, and flowers - and then bought her dress after I bought mine and SURPRISE!!! it's a modified A-line with a ruched bodice with a strapless sweetheart neckline - and I am no longer flattered by her imitation (to be honest, I never was). It is causing stress and tension beyond what wedding planning should be - between FSIL and me, FI and me, and his family, FI, and me.
I recommend asking her - if you have that relationship (and if not, then why do you care in the first place?). I don't know her, and I don't know you, but we dream all our lives about these one day occassions, and we plan for how long for them once we finally get asked for our hand in marriage. The gown is in photographs and is so special - you'll be passing that on to your daughter and so will she!
Best wishes! Let us know what you decide to do! (PS: You will look gorgeous in any Maggie gown - she is amazing)
I guess for me, as the bride, I wouldn't want to wear a similar dress...so if you are ok with wearing a similar dress, then I say go for it! If it's THE DRESS, then that's what you should wear. She had it first, so she shouldn't get mad...it will already be a few years ago. If she has a real big problem with it, then maybe reconsider if you are close with her.
those dresses look exactly the same. I'd be a little upset if my FSIL did that to me because the photos would be around for awhile and you two would look very similar in each other's photos. I can understand some FSIL's wouldn't care, but I would talk to her about it first if you chose to go that route.
Oh, it sounds like your FSIL wedding was 3 years ago. If it was that long ago, then she shouldn't get mad. If her wedding was less than a year ago, she might be annoyed. I said might because some people want theirs to be unique.
I guess I like referring to how I acted in college. I bought a shirt from a popular clothing store and a few weeks later, my roommate bought the same exact one. same color and everything. I was a bit annoyed. That was college but now I'm a bit mature and you can't think like that. They can't make a shirt that only you can wear.
The dress is similar to your FSIL. She might be annoyed or she might not.
We're not that close, but I do respect and care about her feelings. And for the record, I was not trying to copy her, and I wouldn't want people to think I was trying to copy her. Personally, if I was my FSIL, I wouldn't mind since it's not the same dress. But I guess some brides might be territorial (The fiance and I want to go to Kauai for our honeymoon, just because we love Hawaii and we have a discount to a resort there and another bride accused us of copying her because she had gone there three years before on her honeymoon!)
But the only reason I'm hesitant to wear the dress now is because it's so similar to hers. And no, I wouldn't want to wear her gown. Before I went dress shopping, I already knew what I wanted. A-line to compliment my wide hips, V-neck to flatter my narrow shoulders, ruching on the bodice to hide problem areas and straps because I don't feel comfortable with strapless. I'm NOT a big fan of beads. I've tried on gowns with minimal beads and I'm always thinking how I'd wish I can just get rid of them. Classic and clean is my preference. I found out after I tried on the Casablanca gown that my FSIL had worn it too. So I nixed it off my list. It was heartbreaking when I found out, but it would just be so wierd to wear the EXACT same dress. But the Maggie gown was like Casablanca, only better. I really like the corset and the material. The Casablanca gown has a some beads on the bodice while the Maggie gown doesn't. I probably wouldn't usually consider wearing a similar gown, but there aren't many gowns out there with my specific preferences (90% of gowns out there are strapless.) The more I look, the more I keep thinking about the Maggie gown.
But thank you for the comments. Thank you for your gown suggestions too! I will definitely look into them. I think I will just let this dress go. My FSIL may not actually really care, but I don't want to put her in a potentially awkward situation. Thanks again for your input, and I'll keep you posted on what I decide to do.
Lets be realistic here, you're right. they are so so similar. Even someone who has seen more wedding dresses than is healthy for them, I can't tell them apart aside from the train. I really think she'll be flattered though. It would be better if she knew, like, before the wedding...maybe even before you purchase. Hopefully she's comfortable and confident enough in the fact that she looked gorgeous on her wedding day that she won't be jealous of you or think you did it better or any nonsense like that. I know it might sound stupid to you for anyone to react like that, but keep in mind weddings are very emotional things.
If it was me, I would ask her how she feels about it. If she doesn't mind, then go for it! If it's something that would upset her, then you might want to reconsider. I'm sure she'll realize that she's not the only one in the entire world who will ever wear that style of dress, though. Shoot, maybe she would even let you borrow hers as your something borrowed!?
to be completely honest when it comes to wedding gowns most look alike or similar anyway (really how many white long gowns can there be?) so unless you are doing something custom or thinking of spending 203489327 dollars on a dress, someone else is bound to wear something similar.
It will look different anyway with accessories, and since you are wearing it it will also look different.
i would seriously ask if you could borrow it if its THAT similar. save some money! its just a dress after all, and she didnt even wear it that long!
I have to say that both gowns look identical to me. I wouldn't want to wear the same. If I was a guest at both weddings, then I would notice.
Just curious - is it your FI's sister? Or your FI's brother's wife? May seem like a little detail but I'd probably avoid the dress more if it were FI's sister than if it were FI's brother's wife (and overall I'd probably avoid it but for some reason that distinction would make me even less likely to wear it)
I hope you come to a decision that makes you happy, no matter what your dress looks like!
I don't know what I'd do. But I will say, I also wanted the same criteria you did and had a heck of a time trying to convince salespeople NO BEADING. Haha.
Both my sisters were married before I was and both their dresses had straps too. I was conscious when I was shopping to stay away from dresses that had similar looks as their dresses. My sisters were married 3 and 6 years before me.
Maybe go to a fancy dress store and let them choose dresses for you. You never know what you might end up loving!
Dude it's been TWO YEARS! Plenty of time has passed if you really want it. I'd probably look for something a little more different because, well, I would want to be different, but if in the end that's what you end up with, i don't think it's a big deal. She doesn't own that dress style! I'd imagine that after years, your FSIL has probably moved past her wedding and it isn't a humongous deal to her anymore. I keep thinking back to 2 years ago and it feels like forever!
I think it depends on your FSIL. Is she the type to be annoyed or flattered by your choice? Is there any way you can talk to her about it and see what she thinks? I think there's a good chance she would be okay with it. Plus, two years is a loooong time and I don't really think anyone but her would notice if you wore such a similar dress.
Also she just wore it for the ceremony and not the reception so chances are all the guests are her wedding can't remember the dress anyways. I think it should be fine unless she really minds. Have a nice talk with her.
They look almost identical in my opinion!! BUT just because they look the same, doesn't mean that it won't look the same on both of you. I'm sure it won't make a difference since she's already worn hers & you haven't yet. If you love it, wear it! People wear the same dresses all day everyday...I know a girl that wore the SAME EXACT dress as mine, in the same town! I'd go for it!
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