Post # 1
So here’s the deal: I know he’s picked out and ordered my ring and I have a pretty good idea of when its going to happen (we’re best friends, he might think he’s suave, but I know him too well. ).
My question is: I live in Chicago and my mother lives 2000 miles away. She’s coming to visit in Sept and wants to go dress shopping with me here in Chicago since selection will be better than where she lives.
There’s a very good chance that she wont be able to return for a visit for quite awhile, and she’s very anxious for us to go dress shopping while she’s here.
I really dont know how I feel. Part of me is verrry excited to start, but then another part of me thinks I should wait until we’re engaged.
Post # 3
Personally, there was something overwhelmingly exciting about shopping when I had the ring on my finger. The people at the boutiques where I went gushed over the ring. I went browsing with my sister-in-law for her dress and nobody even looked at me then.
BUT if that’s your only time to go with your mom, then maybe that’s the way to do it. Are you sure he won’t propose before she comes out to visit?
Post # 4
You can look online any time you want and maybe even window shop. But to pick your own dress before the ring is a bit too far in advance. Keep some ideas in mind or jot them down and keep pictures so that once you do have the ring, it’ll be easier to find the dress you want.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
Shopping for a wedding dress before you’re engaged (or even picked a venue!) might be difficult. Some bridal salons prefer you have a venue before you make an appointment so they can help you find the “perfect dress.”
However, if this is truly the only time you and your mom will be able to shop together then I think it’s worth doing. It’s once in a lifetime for both you and your mom so you’ll want to cherish that trip no matter what your engaged status. Best of luck and have fun!
Post # 6
Well lets just hope he puts a ring on your finger in the next few weeks and then you won’t have to decide! But really if you are 100% sure that he’s going to soon, then I would go try some on. Doesn’t mean you have to buy anything.
Post # 7
I say Go! You don’t have to actually purchase the dress, but it’d be so(!) fun to go shopping with mom. I wish I had done this back in May when I was home with mom. Now I’ve given in to my urge/obsession to go dress shopping and face my first trip alone or with my FI…(see post)
I say Go. You won’t regret it.
Post # 8
I completely understand why you would want to go with your mom, but I voted to wait.
My mom lives 12 hours away and she can very rarely get to Chicago as well (holla Chicago girls!). But looking for a dress before you have the ring I think is just too far in advance. Do you know for sure that you won’t have that ring on your finger in September?
If your mom ends up not being able to go dress shopping with you, it’s okay. My mom and I are really close, but she didn’t go on any dress shopping trips with me, and after going to several salons with one trusted friend, I’m really kind of glad I did it that way, and so is my mom. She said it would have been too emotional and made the decision that much more difficult. I did a “reveal” of my dress when she was here just a few weeks ago, and it was just as special 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Personally, I don’t think it is too soon to shop! I guess I’m biased, because I actually put a deposit down on mine before I had the ring (crazy, but hear me out!).
I kind of had a similar situation to you…my grandmother was in town (I live in FL) from Michigan, and I hadn’t seen her in years (yes, years…crazy). I knew it would absolutely make her entire year if she could go dress shopping with me. Now, since I didn’t have the ring (but I knew he already had it in progress), I didn’t think I’d actually pick something for sure…but when we were shopping I just fell in love with my dress, and I knew it was the one…so I waited 2 weeks and went back…tried some more on, and ended up deciding that I didn’t want to wait until the ring was on my finger (might as well start paying it off asap…).
Basically, its whatever is comfortable for you I think! I know I wanted my mother to help me shop, so if you are anything like me, you wouldn’t dream of not taking her along while she’s in town. I’d go for it. And yes, there is the excitement of the ladies gushing over your ring, etc…and you might not have that…but more importantly…I’d say the experience of having your mother with you would be what you’d want to have in the end. People will still gush over your ring at later dates too!
Post # 10
My motto is: It’s never too soon to dress shop!
I actually found my dres before I had the ring. We’d been talking about it and we went and looked for rings. In December of 2008, he said after the 1st of the year, we could start planning. So early in January my best friend and I went dress shopping. And I found my dress at the second shop we went to. About 2 weeks later, we got officially engaged. I didn’t actually order my dress though, until I had the ring.
Post # 11
I personally don’t think you should buy a dress until you have a ring and a date/venue. But if this is something you really want to do with your mom and you don’t think you will have the opportunity in the future, then do it! You might not even find the dress you want while shopping but you can still enjoy the time spent with your mom.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
You should wait not only until you have the ring, but until you have the date and the venue. The dresses I loved so much before I got engaged were for another season/style than the one we eventually settled on after the proposal. I’d always thought I would have a summer beach wedding, but the soft, casual dresses I loved so much didn’t fit with the early spring/very formal wedding we ended up planning. And really, you never know how your plans might change, so don’t lock yourself into a dress yet.
Post # 13
I would totally go! Oh wait… I already have BUT I wouldn’t buy/order one until you have the ring.
By all means go, there’s SO much out there! So I think it’s great to start getting an idea of what you like, what suits you, how much it’s going to cost etc. Plus IMO it’s a special thing to do with your mum 🙂 Mum & I popped in to two stores this week, ‘just to have a look’, and it was nice to get a feel for things (discovered I have strong feelings about what I don’t like! Which was 95% of the dresses lol) before the pressure comes on.
Post # 14
Definitely wait until you have a date and a venue, so you know what sort of dress to look for. It seems that plenty of brides buy too early, and then change their mind as the wedding approaches.
Post # 15
Thanks to everyone for all of the great feedback! I’ve decided that for the time being, I’m just going to enjoy the wait!
Besides, the “OMG, I can’t go dress shopping, I need to lose weight first thing” kicked in. No, but really, even after we get engaged we have plenty of time to shop and plan.
Now, if only I can convince my mother of this… haha.