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I don't think you are crazy at all since you are not just waiting and hoping for a ring, he has made it clear that he is indeed going to propose. I would just be honest and tell him that you had them pencil in a date just in case you guys fell in love with the place. I know I picked my date when FI and I started looking at rings and we started discussing where we wanted our wedding.
There are a lot of people that would disagree with me but I think what you did was fine! As long as you're not like, picking out your linens! I understand falling in love with a venue, you'll be so thrilled when you have it and you don't have to worry about it. But, make sure you boyfriend likes it too!
I agree with Jennifer- I dont think its too soon! (BTW welcome new ATL bee!) If I found a venue I was 100% hooked on Id book it and Im still waiting too.
IMHO, it seems like you may be getting a little ahead of yourself because you have only seen the venue online.
I see no harm in her having her pencil it in although I do think you should have talked it over with your boyfriend first.
Everyone is right, you never know what may happen. Not that I think he won't propose to you but many things in life can happen forcing you to push back your engagement.
There were SO many venues we both fell in love with online but in person were utter disappointments. Creating so much heartache for us both. It got to the point where FI had to keep reminding me to not get my hopes up. They are very good at showing you only the best pictures! And you have to remember photographer pictures you find online from past weddings are heavily doctored and shots are strategically taken so that ONLY the good stuff get shown.
I'm really not trying to rain on your parade. I've just went through venue heartbreak like 3 times dragged over 6 months.
DEF tell your boyfriend! I wish you the best of luck; that your venue is just as beautiful in real life as it is online!
Do you consider yourselves engaged? You can be engaged without a proposal, and especially without a ring. A good smell-test is whether or not you're uncomfortable with your boyfriend finding out about your planning. I personally wouldn't do it.
Yeah I agree with PP - the one I thought I was in love with online turned out to be a total dump. I think it's fine to have her pencil you in for the date, but you need to go see the place. FI and I put the deposit down on our venue before I had the ring but it was being made custom with an heirloom stone so I 100% knew it was coming and when, and we had already announced to our parents that we were engaged at that point. My parents actually came with us to look at venues, so it was pretty much a done deal at that point. Don't put any money down unless you get confirmation from your aunt that the ring is in the works.
I don't see anything wrong with penciling in a date without a ring per se, but not telling your BF is not ok. The wedding is his as well as yours, and he deserves a say. If he prefers a different venue, a different date, or even if he agrees with your choice but finds out you reserved it without telling him, he is likely to be upset/freaked out and maybe even not propose. And you really don't want to be sneaking around keeping secrets from him about this type of stuff.
I also second the point about not getting too excited about venues (or anything else) so you don't set yourself up for a disappointment
I think it's fine if you penciled it in as long as nothing is definite...and I would tell him about visiting the venue when you go to your hometown...so he said he's definitely proposing this year? I've found the problem with penciling in a date too soon, is that sometimes the guy doesn't propose until later than you might think...
What does your FI think of the venue? I'd find that out before booking anything.
are you planning on touring the venue with your bf? i think it's fine to start planning if you know you're both on board, and if there's no deposit required to pencil in a date, that's fine. i'd be cautious though about anything more than that before you actually see the venue--i had my heart set on this one particular venue for months before we actually got engaged (i knew it was coming), and on a particular type of venue, and when i saw it in person i felt it was kinda blah and i ended up going with a totally different type of venue
Thanks for all of the comments! To clarify we have discussed the venue and looked at pictures online together (I've seen the outside in person since it is near the town where I grew up). When I mentioned that they do tours on Saturdays he was the one who suggested we check it out while we are in town since we are interested.
As far as the ring, he actually has an heirloom ring and is planning to use the stones in a new setting for me and I know that he has been communicating with my aunt. He has even shared his "proposal plan" with my brother so I know something is in the works. I plan to discuss the penciled in date tonight when we get home from work since it just came up today in my emails with the venue. Not getting my hopes up about the venue is a good point and a much appreciated reality check.
So you are touring your venue with the BF? Then no big deal. All penciling in means is that they will likely give you a courtesy call if someone else expresses interest in the date. I agree that the sniff test on planning is if you honestly think your BF would be cool with your planning. I've know plenty of brides to be who started research before hand because they were clear with their future FIs about what was going on.
Full disclosure, I went dress shopping the day before I got engaged because my mom was in town and visited my semi-destination location months before. The engagement was just a formality for us.
EDIT: btw, I agree with the Bees that you should brace yourself to hate the place you've seen in the pictures. Since you are getting married out of town for you two, I would highly recommend hiring a local planner for a venue day. It usually costs a few hundred dollars ($300 in my case) and she will take you to a bunch of locations that fit your needs. I had done a ton of research before I went to her, and she brought me to places I had never heard of, and ended up picking one of them.
since you and your boyfriend have been discussing marriage and you know he's going to propose, i dont see a problem with it. you're only penciled in for the venue. you haven't committed to it yet and if you end up not liking it you can cancel with them although i have a feeling that you'll probably love it even more after you've seen it. lol! just be honest with him and let him know. i dont think he'll mind since you two had already discussed taking a tour of the venue.
I say go for it, just keep the BF in the loop. I am waiting to hear back on price for a dream venue so that I can probably cross it off the list.
I'm with the bees who say given the circumstances, this sounds fine.
But a side note: HOLY COW--it's only march and they're already booked for next May, June, and most of July? I am so nervous about pinning down our dream venue because we were going to wait until the end of the year to do so :X Granted we are getting married during the off-season, but still.
that's so funny and endearing. it is a little odd, but if you think you'll get married soon, why not. i would suggest you jokingly tell him you blocked the venue already so he will probably give you a hint if you'll be needing it by July. Sometimes guys mature slower and he may not be ready to get married within 1 year. good luck! i hope you'll end up getting married at the dream venue regardless.
well you two HAVE pretty much decided on it - you just don't have the ring on your finger.
Honestly (sorry i haven't read any other replies) but if your boyfriend is cool with it then it's totally cool to book this far ahead of time. In fact our venue is REDICULOUS as far as booking and I booked ours in October 2008 when our wedding isn't until June 2010!
We got engaged on Thursday and toured the venue on Saturday! We loved it and are working out some details but it is definitely a strong consideration. Thanks again for all of the comments.
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Hello! I am new to the waiting boards but not to the Bee, I have been following the blog for quite a few months now.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and the marriage talk has been more and more frequent since about Thanksgiving. He told me that his original plan was to propose at Christmas but he decided to wait and now my aunt who is helping him with the ring (her family has a jewelry store) has been busy and slow to respond. I know it is just a matter of time so I am trying to be patient but it is hard knowing it is so close.
Well we are going home to visit my family in 2 weeks and had discussed touring the venue that we are interested in. So I emailed them to confirm tour times and was told that they are booking for next year and could hold a date for me. Out of curiousity I asked if there were any dates available in May or June. Of course they are all booked for both months but they have 2 Saturdays available at the end of July. I went ahead and asked her to pencil me in for the 23rd I just don't want to take any chances since I have fallen in love with this venue online. I'm a little worried my boyfriend will think I am getting too far ahead of myself but I am just too much of a planner to wait.
I know that I have no obligation to the venue since they are holding the date for me without a deposit but am I getting too far ahead of myself? crazy?