(Closed) Too Soon To Wait?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My FI and I were dating for nine months before we got engaged…so you never know! Might depend on your age though. We were 26 and 28 and had been in enough LTRs to know what we were looking for.

In terms of planning…I would do much than come up with a “wish list” until you have a ring on your finger.

Post # 5
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d just ignore these people.  But I would wait until you are officially engaged to start planning.

Post # 6
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

FI and I were only together 7months to the week when he proposed on Dec 14th. We knew within 2 or 3 months that this was it. I am a firm believer in “when you know you know”. It’s not too soon if it’s right for both of you.

Post # 7
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@smiley3: And we are 28 and 27 🙂 Right there with you!!!

Post # 8
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@smiley3: I think it depends on the couple. My SO and I have been together for a year now, and we knew within a few months of really dating (we had dalliances for over a year beforehand) that we wanted to be together forever and lots and lots of babies, etc. But we’re still gonna wait another six months or so before we get engaged. We both have lots of personal things to work out–finances, politics, grad school, etc. There are still many talks to be had for us (SO rushed into something before and the result was NOT PRETTY) so we’re just taking everything as it comes.

Post # 9
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

@EleanorRigby: I agree- who cares about what everyone else thinks- just don’t start wedding planning until you are officially engaged. Good luck and welcome!

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We met when we were 25. He had been jokingly asking me to marry him after the 3rd month! He proposed after 20 months of knowing each other and we will be married about 2 1/2 years after we met (he will be 28, I will still be 27).

It really feels like we have know each other FOREVER! I read another post a few weeks ago (or maybe it was on the blog?) about how it doesn’t necessarily matter how long you have known each other but what types of obstacles you have experienced & overcome together.

p.s. I swear I knew he was it the night we met 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2304 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree it depends on the couple as well as age. I’ve been dating my SO for a year now and would say an engagement is close. (Hopefully) A lot of it has nothing to do with timeframes but more the stage we are at in our relationship. We’ve been through a lot, spend everyday together, and basically know where we want to take the next step of our relationship.

I think you’re in a great position actually, you’re both on the same page, will be a little while before you’ll get married, and you know an engagement is coming this year. So my advice is to use this time to really enjoy and nurture your relationship. And I wouldn’t tell anyone about plans to get engaged just yet unless it’s your family or people who knows you both and genuinely see the love you have for each other. I say this because I’m in the exact position. We’ve talked about marriage and engagement around the same 7-8 month mark, but I’ve been cautiously quiet since. I feel some people can just be judgemental looking at the outside in, and just use how long you’ve been together as a mark as whether you’re ready for that stage or not.

I say just follow your heart and do what’s best for you both. Other people would just have to adjust. Goodluck and welcome to the hive!

Post # 12
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

FI and I got engaged just shy of 11 months. Go with what you feel is right for you!

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in the “couples should date for a few years” boat but thats only because of my personal situation and what worked for us (we dated for more than 5 years before the ring). Our friends were dating for 6 months when they got engaged and while alot of people thought they were rushing into it (myself included), it worked out for them and they are very happy. 

I personally don’t think that waiting a few years and really getting to know each other inside and out can hurt but only you know your relationship and I’m sure you’re wise enough to make the best decision for you. 

Post # 14
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

To each their own beliefs… 2 weeks 7 years, whatever. However I am of the belief that anything short of 1 year isn’t quite enough. Sure it sounds wonderful to get engaged and marry at the height of your love (which is usually the early, early infatuation type feelings) but it takes *time* to settle into the relationship. I’m not talking about love here. I’m talking about learning eachother, figuring out how to make it work when it breaks and months is to me doesn’t seem like enough time.

This is just my opinion though.

Post # 15
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@vmec: Well said!

Post # 16
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think you’re crazy at all.  I knew my FI was the one for me after about 3 months or so (although in the sake of full disclosure I think I really knew after a month or so, and just tried not to dwell on it)

I think dating for a year (at least) before getting engaged is a good rule of thumb – I think you and your guy sounds like you are being pretty smart about things.  Taking your time to plan a wedding after getting engaged sometime within the next year seems pretty reasonable to me.  If you think about it that way, by the time you get married you’ll have been together 3+ years or so.

I agree with holding off on official planning though.  Before I was engaged, I collected lots of ideas and sort of pre-planned – developed a short list of venues and caterers I wanted to check out, gathered pictures and website links for information and inspiration, but no official planning.

There’s a lot to be excited about though!  Enjoy this time with the man you love leading up to your engagement!

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