(Closed) Too young – even though we have plans?! – vent.

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@OrchidsandCandles: You’ll need a thick skin to let some of those comments slide. Sounds like you have the right attitude, it’s your life and you have every right to live it your way!

Post # 4
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should just cross that bridge when you get to it! No one has said anything yet so no reason to get yourself worked up yet. and when you do get engaged if someone says your only 20 omg or whatever they say you can tell them we are planning on having a long engagement we wont even be getting married for X amount of years…

Post # 5
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MsPanda: agree, though I don’t think you need to explain your decision to anyone. If anyone tries to pry or be rude, I would smile and say “Thanks for your well wishes!”

Post # 6
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with PPs – don’t project those comments too early! Be happily surprised if you don’t get them (not every young bride does) and keep your strong attitude if you DO get them. No one knows everything about someone else and yes, people may make assumptions.

I personally think you’re going about this in all the right ways – you both seem to have your priorities in line, dating for a good amount of time, etc. Most people (generally) will respect that.

We were fairly young when we got engaged, but we got more of the “finally!” comments because we’d been together so long. So you won’t necessarily get negativity!

Post # 8
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@OrchidsandCandles: I can definitely relate. I’m 20 (FI is 23), I was 19 when he proposed in January, I’ll be 21 when we get married. I Was 17 when we started dating but we knew each other for more than a year before that.

I expected my parents, especially my dad, to be anxious and try to talk me out of it. I expected all my friends and relatives to tell me to wait. We both expected to be defending ourselves constantly. Guess what? Everyone was thrilled. I’ve received truly enthusiastic congrats from almost everyone we know, and often from people I don’t know- a lot of people actually tell us how lucky we are to have found the right person so early in life. Only one person has made any negative comment about age, and it was a coworker that barely knows us. You might be pleasantly surprised, and people might be less concerned about age than you think.

I’ll be honest, the most negativity I’ve heard regarding my age has been from online forums such as this one (but not specifically the Bee, just in general). But you know your relationship better than strangers on the Internet, so just keep up your strong attitude and don’t let it get to you. There are plenty of other young brides here too πŸ™‚

ETA: Oh, and as far as how we dealt with the one negative coworker… I didn’t really say much of anything but Fiance just said thanks for the perspective and left it at that. Online I just don’t let it get to me. Hard sometimes, because I’ve gotten some pretty hurtful comments about it online, but remember they don’t know you, they can only base their opinion on their own experiences, and your experience is different.

Post # 10
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Mmmmhmmm. I get it a lot. I’m 19 and engaged, and we will be married when I’m 21. People constantly give me crap for it and say how I’m going to regret it, my life will be miserable, etc etc etc. Lately I just smile and say “statistics mean nothing to the individual.” πŸ™‚

I’ll be graduated within the next year, then getting my PhD. So they can suck it.

Post # 11
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Keep the ” Jog on” phrase handy πŸ˜‰ but just enjoy school and beign in love for right now. People will always have something to say, no matter how perfect and ideal your life plan is !

Post # 13
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I feel you. My fiancee will be 20 when we marry in August and I will be almost 22, yet we are getting that we are too young from a lot of people. My dad is definitely ok with it since my Fiance is an extremely hard worker, my mom wishes I would wait a little longer though she had already finished having children by 21. My FIL’s have definitely come around to the idea and we get along very well. So as long as we know we can handle it, and we have the backing of our parents, it’s happening regardless of other’s opinions. He and I are both in college, but my college is paid for which means we don’t need to wait till I am done. πŸ™‚ We will only be dating for 2 years when we get married, so I don’t see why anyone would object to you two after 4-5 years of dating. Good Luck to you guys.

Post # 14
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

There’s always people who will say you’re “too young”, but you kind of have to just brush it off. It’s your life, not theirs! I’ll be 23 in a few months and i’ve had people tell ME i’m too young to be engaged, too! I mostly hear it from either a. “jealous” aquaintances (or people who just like to rain on everyone’s parade) or b. people with unmarried children my age, because they don’t see their baby getting married anytime soon therefore no one that age should be getting married because it’s too young. Not sure if that makes a lot of sense, but that’s just what i’ve found. 

Post # 15
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

People wil ALWAYS have something to say, about your ring, your dress, your age, EVERYTHING. don’t let it get to you just keep sight of what is really important. This is something I’m struggling with now (I’m 20, getting married in June) 

Post # 16
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

im a pretty young bride (21) and the Fiance is 23, we have been together for almost 6 years and we have not gotten a single comment on how young we are so dont fret just yet you may not need to worry!

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