(Closed) Too young for marriage?

posted 4 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 4
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@dicapriosimaginarywife:  Really age doesn’t matter. Maybe you are becoming overwhelmed because your date is getting closer? I think once you know you love someone, you know, and if you meet them at 18 then that’s great but if you don’t meet them until you are 40 then that’s fine too. I would try not to think about ‘age’ being the reason why you are scared or worried about being too young. If you love each other and will enjoy travelling together in life, then you will be fine. But if you have any doubts apart from age, then you might need to do some more thinking about getting married.

Post # 5
Member
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@dicapriosimaginarywife:  can I ask how old your fiancé is??  

I was engaged at 18 and I knew that I was ready. I ended up getting married at 20!!

Post # 7
Member
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@dicapriosimaginarywife:  I think it’s really important that you stay true to yourself and do things in life that make you happy. I think it’s really great that you will continue at college.

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I married at 23 and was engaged at 21. At that time, my friends were not even in commited relationships. I got into this marriage thinking that everything would stay the same but it did not. The friends that I used to hang out with did not call me anymore because they were trying to pick up guys and I already had a husband. I have friends aged 30, 40, and 50. I only talk to my true friends from high school now because things are just so different even though my DH and I are fun people who like to go out. It’s been hard on my social life because I would go out every single weekend and now I go hiking and camping and bike riding, not clubbing or drinking or bar hopping. Things will definitely change, but I can only tell you that I enjoy my new life even though it was hard for me to accept that my life changed so much. Think about the things that will change for you and how you would feel about that. 

Post # 9
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see why married life should be any different. I don’t think there’s an expectation that you must suddenly live your life differently because you are married. Unless you plan on having kids straight away, you can do whatever you want!

I also don’t think you are too young to get married, so long as you are in a mature relationship, i.e. you know you want to be with this person for the long haul, through the good and the bad. My sister is 21 and if she were to marry now, I wouldn’t think she was too young.

Post # 10
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

@dicapriosimaginarywife:  I’m living in Vietnam right now and two of my friends are a married couple who decided to go abroad to teach English just after they got married. As you said your FI is your travel buddy and that doesn’t need to change just because you’re getting married. Having children on the other hand is a whole other story…

Post # 11
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@dicapriosimaginarywife:  I will probably be 21-22 when we get married as well. I’m a little scared.. but not because of age. I think I’m just scared because my life is CONSTANTLY suprising me and there has been a lot of change in the past year (losing my grandad, graduating with my bachelors, getting a full time job, relationship becoming more serious, etc.). I can understand how you feel about being young when a lot of people marry much older, but we are lucky to have found the right guys at a younger age 🙂

Post # 12
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m 22 and my family are convinced I’m too young.

They forget that I’m financially independent and have been with FI for a long time.

It’s also irrelevant to them that I’ve made other huge life decisions young as well: I was mature enough to emigrate and successfully establish a new life for myself and FI over two years ago.

It’s tricky being the oldest daughter!

Post # 13
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m 22 and married… (legally as of last month; doing the big wedding in October). I have been living on my own since 18, working since 15, and grew up in the kind of circumstances that matured me very quickly so I like to think have a good understanding of the real world from a single individual’s point of view. I had my crazy party time (not always glamorous either, lol). I know what it feels like to be completely on my own and have my own identity established, and to support myself and go it alone. 

I’m very much a ‘to each their own’ kind of person – as long as you’re not hurting anyone else and I don’t have to hear you bitch, do whatever you want lol. With that being said, I do think it isn’t always the best setup to go from living with/being supported by your parents to being married and living with/being supported by your spouse. Which can happen when you get married young. I think people need time on their own learning how to function as an adult to really figure out who they are before they try to do it with another person. I think the first step to a successful partnership is making sure the separate pieces are as strong as possible.

So to answer your question, I don’t think there’s any kind of way to say if an age is too young or not without knowing the circumstances. I do think that it’s not the best idea to go straight from living like a minor under your parents’ roof to the altar. 

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