Post # 1
Hey Bees! I want to first thank you all for the support you all gave me a while back. It has been a rough period in my life, but I took time away from EVERYTHING (even my own wedding planning!) and I am glad I did. I needed time to breathe and think, and that is exactly what I did.
So, first update: Sis decided to move her wedding to my original date (April 6, 2012) and had actually called my venue to see if she could book her wedding there (On the date that I’d changed from). Luckily there was already a wait list for that day and after we’d finalized my new date, another couple was moved into my original day (my friend’s mom is friends with the lady who took the call – getting married in a small town so word spreads). At first I just wanted to go get married at the courthouse on the 6th then have the reception later on, but since then I’ve decided that I’m not going to give her any reason to have any sympathy. What she did was cruel and cold-hearted, yes, but I’m pretty sure it is making her boil with anger that I’m not going ape sh!t on her rihgt now, so that is my small victory. (As petty as that might sound…) I am begrudgingly still a Bridesmaid in her wedding – but have made it clear to our parents that unless it is dress shopping/fitting, I am not going to be involved in ANY of her wedding festivities. Our relationship is not at a point where I can pretend nothing is wrong – and I seriously doubt it ever will be. She did something very cruel to me and has acted completely unsympathatic – until I find it in my heart to forgive her (and I will, one day… though I will never forget) I am going to do the bare minimum and if that ticks her off, well so be it. My second small victory is that FI and I still fully intend to celebrate our 6 year anniversary (April 6 – our original wedding date and big sister’s new date.) Our photographer donated a 2 hour couple session ($800 value) to us in honor of our Anniversary and we will be taking pictures seperately (not making a deal of it, but it will be our special time). I have a wonderful photographer by the way – she increased our time from 8 hours to ALL DAY on the wedding day. She and her husband will be there from the time we get up to the time we say goodbye!
Just wanted to share this with everyone. I know some people wanted updates, but I really just needed some “alone” time to think. I tried to take emotion out of it as best I could, and I am happy with what FI and I decided to do. I’m not going to be distasteful and petty (as I really feel sneaking down to the courthouse and getting married would be), but I’m not going to pretend like nothing is wrong and I am certainly not going to ignore the fact that the 6th is an important day to my FI and I. We won’t make a big deal out of it at her wedding, but we do fully intend on celebrating just the two of us. 🙂 Thanks again for all the support.
For those of you that want to catch up please read:
Post # 3
Hey dress twin! I’m glad to see that you took some time to figure stuff out, and found a way to still commemorate a special time for the two of you. I just wanted to say I don’t think anything you are doing is petty. You are one classy lady, and I don’t think it would be fair for anyone to expect anything more of you!
Post # 4
Wow, can’t believe she did that… I am so sorry!
Post # 5
You have handled this with so much grace. I am not sure I would have been to handle myself as maturely as you have. My immature self will be crossing my fingers that it rains cats and dogs on April 6th.
Post # 6
Utopia! Hi hi dress twin! How’s the planning coming along? Did you get your dress in yet? Thank you for the kind words, trust me, it has been hard being classy, but in the end I’m still getting hitched to the love of my life and get to wear a most amazing dress too! 🙂
Army, yeah… I know, but she’ll be the one who has to live with what she’s done, and I won’t have an ounce of guilt weighing on my mind. The situation sure does suck though.
Post # 7
@ieatunicorns: No! No rain! I want pretty pictures next to the lake! (Well, you can do a rain dance for the afternoon, hopefully our pictures will be done before noon!)
Post # 8
@SakuraBlossomBee: Oh you are doing the pictures the same day. Then no rain until after your pictures are done. Maybe I will hope for a dry, crumbly cake instead:)
Post # 9
I’ve been following your saga and I feel so bad for you. Your sister is a piece of work. What date did you end up choosing then?
Post # 10
Wow… I just can’t believe your sister would be so cold-hearted. It’s amazing how weddings can bring out the worst and the best in people. You’ve been far classier than I think I could have been. That’s so sweet of your photographer. I hope you and your fiance have a fabulous time celebrating your anniversary that day and an amazing wedding day. At least you can look back on this with no regrets and no dark cloud over your day. I doubt your sister will be able to do the same.
Post # 11
Wow …. you are a way better person than I.
Everything will work out and I’m sure your sister will still be miserable ….she must be to try to hurt you so much.
Post # 12
SakuraBlossom, you are a JEWEL. Honestly, I just hope the very best in life for you and much joy on your wedding day. You have earned it with these recent trials. I admit that I would absolutely not have handled it with half the grace and maturity that you have. It makes MY blood boil that she has so flagrently done this to you, not only made you switch your date from the Saturday for her wedding on the Friday but then swept in to take it afterall. Pure pure black-heartedness. She’s due for one awful heap of bad karma.
What do your parents say?!? If that were my child I’d have some unkind words for her, to be sure.
Post # 13
I feel like I can’t say thank you enough! Since this occurance my family has learned a lot about my older sister, and none of us realized how deep some of these issues went. I really don’t think my sister is a bad person, but I can’t say I don’t view her in a far different light. Sadly, people are aware of what has been going on (we did send out change the dates, and most people were able to read between the lines – some out and out asked me or my parents what was going on.)
My new date is July 20, 2013 (Bruce Lee’s death date as one of my FB friends so kindly pointed out). I’m so excited that now I get to celebrate our wedding anniversary AND our dating anniversary every year! Double the presents! (hehe).
Honestly, I think the only reason I was able to handle this like I have is because I’ve been able to vent and bounce things off of you ladies. Without the Hive I’d probably have acted far worse. My FI is a really good rock too. He’s not afraid to tell me when I am acting up… can’t say the same for FBIL (sis’s FI). (Okay that was a bit snarky, but I’m probably more upset with him because he didn’t say anything and just went along with it… but water and bridges right?)
And yes, my photographer is so super awesome amazing! I’m going to ask her if she minds if I spread the word about her generosity. I really want others to know how great of a person she is. I mean, she didn’t HAVE to do this – she’s only met me TWICE in her entire life! Some people are just amazing like that I guess. (Btw, she is a high end, highly sought after photographer and has no need to do favors for anyone – she’ll have clients one way or the other. I think her actions speak volumes towards her character.)
Post # 14
Wow is all i can say! like PP’s have said you have handled all of this extremly well. With such grace and decorum. there is no way i would have hadled it so well if it were me.
Congrats on your new date!!! your wedding will be amazing!!!
Post # 15
You really have acted like the much bigger person and I wish you the most beautiful wedding ever. 🙂
Post # 16
Good things come to good people, and you are a good person 🙂
i hope your July wedding is the best wedding EVER and it goes down in family history as the wedding no one can top.
Also, I think I remembered from your last post that you were worried one of your groomsmen might be deployed if you waited….can he still make it?