Tooooooooo many options. VENT.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

FutureMrsHodgy:  Why not just have a small intimate wedding and only invite close family/ whoever you want to be there? My SO’s sister recently got married and only invited 30 people. It was at the beach and really lovely. It was sort of like a destination wedding but only about 1.5 drive. Would your family be open to that?

Post # 4
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

citysparkle:  FutureMrsHodgy:  I’m doing the small, intimate wedding thing. And even if you can’t do a full on destination wedding do you have a beach nearby? Are you close to the coast or have a beautiful lake around?

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsHodgy:  You wouldn’t have to invite FFIL and FMIL’s siblings. We’re only inviting immediate family and grandparents. So that’s My mom and dad, my Dad’s new wife, my sister and her husband and 2 kids, and my 4 grandparents. His side is his mother, his dad and new wife, his brother and live-in GF, and one grandparent.

Post # 7
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

how about a beach/lake wedding ceremony let the family come if they want then do an intimate dinner out with close family you could reserve a party room so your fiance can still have his mini recpetion you could do a firswt dance a cake cutting etc.  …… and if extended family insist on being part of dinner as well you would have room for them but, they are to take care of their own food choice cost…. then do a destination honeymoon of choice… 

Post # 8
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

FutureMrsHodgy:  Aunts and Uncles will get over it. Sure, they’ll be disappointed but in the same breath, he’s not their child, he’s their nephew. If you want it small, you are going to have to make some tough and perhaps unpopular decisions.

You can do it! Have the wedding you both want!

Post # 9
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Can you elope on the beach like you wanted and then throw a big picnic/party style “reception” back home shortly afterwards? 

Post # 10
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrsHodgy:  The one thing you cannot do is have a ceremony then not invite all of those guests to whatever meal or refreshment you serve afterward. An intimate dinner with immediate family is fine, but not after a ceremony to which you invited other people. In Canada and the USA,it would be the height of rudeness to not invite all the ceremony guests to dinner.

You could have an intimate family dinner (6pm) then an evening ceremony (7:30 pm) followed by cocktails (8pm) and party/dance (9pm).

If you want to keep it more casual, you could look into options like a brunch or afternoon tea reception.

Post # 11
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

FutureMrsHodgy:  Well, then I guess they’ll just have to be dissapointed. My daughter just got married and only 6 of the bride and groom’s combined 8 aunts and uncles were invited. Of those 6, only 2 even attended. Your wedding planning doesn’t have a vote attached, for what other people want. It’s what you two want and can afford. If they want a big party to attend, maybe they can pay for it?

Post # 13
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

FutureMrsHodgy:  I just posted on another thread about this. My FI has a huge NY raised Italian family. He is the baby and last of the cousins/siblings to get married. FMIL just passed away, and because of FFIL, FI wanted the ginormous affair with everyone we know. 

I have NO family, by choice. Except my 2 kids. Everyone at my wedding will be his people, except 2 friends I’ve known less than 4 years. Because of this, I wanted a simple backyard BBQ, with torches and ice buckets of booze and a bonfire. But, after seeing my FIs excitement to plan and experience a (traditional, I guess?) wedding, I really warmed me up to the idea. Plus with him being so gung-ho about it all, he’s helping and interested in every aspect.

Plus, I don’t know where you are, but I chose my venue because it has a private beach for our ceremony with all night access, but there is still a reception room. Best of both worlds.

Anyway, just another perspective 🙂 good luck, its your wedding and it’ll be beautiful no matter what.

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