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Don't know if there is already a post like this, but I thought it might be helpful for others to have a short list of top 5 things that were worth spending money on, and top 5 things that you should have skipped or did skip without a problem. Here are mine:
Top 5 Most Worthwhile
1. DJ (our music was great and our guests had a blast. It was so worth it to do some research and hire a quality DJ)
2. Photography (even if you don't think you are photogenic, it is also worth it, a good photographer will find a way to make you look beautiful!)
3. Alcohol
4. Food (doesn't have to be incredible, but as long as you have plenty for your guests to eat they will be happy)
5. Dress (you have to look fabulous don't you?)
Top 5 Least Worthwhile
1. Save the Dates (we didn't do them, just sent an email, and all our out of town guests still managed to show up)
2. Grooms cake (we didn't do one of these either, the wedding cake was certainly enough)
3. Favors (we had them at my mom's insistence, they were candy, but it would have been just fine without them)
4. Transportation (we spent a LOT of $ on limo... it was fun but... not necessary at all)
5. Invitations (as long as they look decent and convey the proper information I don't see why some people spend thousands of dollars on this.)
I'm with you on your whole "least worthwhile" list. We're not doing STDs, groom's cake, favors, or limos. And I'm designing the invites myself and having them printed on the house by a printer we work with a lot. 
Yay me!
We actually are avoiding a lot of unnecessary costs because our church and ballroom are right next to each other. We also don't have to rent linens or much decor at all as the venue is gorgeous on it's own. I like the plainer invitations anyway too.
i think i'll hire a doc, but only because my company's rep will be on the line and everything will have to go off without a hitch and i will have a lot of fun details and designs that i will not be able to take care of and be a peaceful calm bride (my goal)
most worthwhile: DOC, open bar, shuttle bus, hair & makeup; bacon-wrapped scallops (should've ordered more for appetizers)
Least worthwhile: favors (although it was cheap we spent too much labor on it); STD (email/website instead; makes me feel that I'm green); no limo & it was not a big deal & it was actually fun; DJ (no annoying cheese and ipod reception packed the dance floor).
Top 5 Most Worthwhile
1. Photographer - He was worth every penny! It's also the only thing you usually have left from your wedding day.
2. Band/DJ - Someone who is going to keep your guests on the dance floor! Everyone had fabulous time!
3. Food - Everyone raved about our food, and it made me so proud! Our cocktail hour rocked!
4. Dress - Definitely get what you're looking for! You have to look fab!
5. Honeymoon - by far the best part about the entire wedding!!!
Top 5 Least Worthwhile:
1. Flowers - I spent entirely too much on them on my mom's insistence, and they die! Plus, my mom said she was getting my bouquet preserved for me. Um...no...my florist ripped it apart and put a few flowers in a shadowbox with our invitation. Sweet, but I wanted my bouquet!
2. Favors - I knew I had to have them, but I went cheap wine botttles and everyone thought that was fine! I didn't think about it, but we should have made a donation to a charity instead.
3. Invitations - Everyone throws them away anyway!
4. Make-up - I got mine done by a friend, and it turned out great...and didn't cost me a thing!
5. Accessories - I went with a plain cross and earrings my hubby got me for our first Christmas - less is better in my opinion. People want to focus on you and your dress, not a huge chunky necklace taking away from your awesome neckline!
Top 5 Most Worthwhile
1. The food. Our hors'doeuvres (cocktail reception) were amazing and everyone raved about the food.
2. Photographer. Amazing.
3. Shuttle for guests from hotel to ceremony, reception and back to hotel. I was glad no one had to worry about driving around in an unfamiliar town, especially since there was only metered parking at the ceremony and valet parking at the reception.
4. Officiant. While pricier than a JOP, he connected well with our audience and personalized our ceremony to DH and me.
5. Favors. Everyone loved our personalized bottles of hot sauce and it fit me so well. Instantly people knew why they were there.
Top 5 Least Worthwhile
1. Hair. I probably could have achieved the same look having my BMs and FMIL do my hair. The ocean wind tossed it around and by the end of the reception, the curls were gone.
2. STDs. I could have probably spent less money on these. But I love having mine as a keepsake from our wedding.
3. Flowers. I'm glad I made my and the BMs' bouquets. Definitely wouldn't have been worth it to go through a florist and pay out the nose.
4. DJ. Our iPod kept the mood good and people danced.
5. Umm, I'm out. Lol!
5.
IMHO, no need to have:
1) HUGE wedding cake - most people liked the groom's cake better (it was a chocolate ice cream cake from cold stone creamery and it was completely gone, while half of the huge, expensive wedding cake was left behind)
2) Favors - although they appreciated it, no necessary
3) Veil - I wore it anyway, even though I had almost decided not to. Actually wish I didn't but didn't want to waste the money I had spent on it.
4) Garter - bought one, didn't do garter toss. Decided I wasn't comfortable with it.
5) Fresh flowers - Not a single one at my wedding.
:)
Just reading this post made me realize a bunch of crap that i shouldn't have bought. brings back bad memories of money not well spent.
5 Most worthwile wedding expenses
1. doc (couldn't have done the day without her)
2. photobooth (it was a hit at our wedding)
3. our open bar
4. flowers...i loved my florals! it was beautiful!
5. food...it was a hit, but also i think i over did it on the food, we had hor d'oevres, a buffet, a chocolate fountain, a candy buffet, and a late night snack. i don't think anyone even ate the late night sliders we had.
5 least worthwhile
1. my veil and bolero....i didn't even use it, we forgot it at the hotel.
2. my hair. my mua was also the hairstylist. i hated my wedding day hair.
3. transportation....wish we had just loaned someones car. We paid about 800 for a limo, it seems so wasteful now.
4. grooms cake...we were going to have it at our rehearsal dinner and the person who was supposed to get it forgot until after the bakery closed
5. invites. i think everyone tosses them.
Today, I argue these 5 items are a must:
1. Expensive 4 inch heels for the bride (preferably by Christian Louboutin);
2. day of coordinator
3. fresh flowers
4. cocktail hour
5. gifts for the wedding party
Today, I argue we can live without these:
1. limo for transportation
2. expensive invitations
3. professional make up & hair
4. bridal/couple showers
5. place cards
hmmmm i guess now that i am coherent (today) i will make this list
1. DOC
2. photog
3. make up artist/hair stylist (i gotta look good in the pictures:D)
4. linens (i have this "thing" about naked tables and chairs)
5... to have a spending limit on the venue of about 6-700 (space only)
least
1. don't want an expensive dress (rather have a photog)
2. dj... rather use an ipod or live band
3. expensive invites (they are tossed)
4. limo (nah)
ooh, great topic! For us, the list would look like this:
Top 5 Most Worthwhile
1. Photographer -- ours was amazing, we love our photos!
2. DOC -- it was oh so nice to hand the event management over to someone else
3. Alcohol -- we really like wine, and it was important to us to have good (but not too expensive!) wines at the wedding
4. Food
5. My shoes -- weird choice, I know, but I had to look forever to find them. They were a bit pricy, but so worth it because they were comfortable all night!
Top 5 Least Worthwhile
1. Favors (we didn't have any)
2. Letterpress invitations -- I still like letterpress, but I think it's a wee bit overrated in the wedding blog world. I wish I'd gone with a high-quality flat-printed set instead of hunting down a cut-rate letterpress printer because I was convinced I "had" to have letterpress. (It didn't help that our printer was a NIGHTMARE.)
3. Limo (we didn't use one)
4. Bride's bouquet -- we way overspent on my bouquet, it was gorgeous but HUGE. I wish I had asked the florist to cut the size (and the cost) down.
5. Giant twelve-tiered cake with fondant decorations -- we went with multiple smaller cakes. Our cake was delicious, which was what we cared about, and about half the price we were quoted for having one giant cake.
I'm beginning to rethink my transporatation choices. The only reason we chose a limo was because our reception is about 20 miles from our church. so we figured have EVERYONE meet at the reception hall get on the limo stop at a park for photos, then to the ceremony in my hometown where it's the hometown days with a parade and people everywhere, My plan was to just keep everyone together since some were out of state and I didn't want them to get lost in the mess of things!!!
hmmmm :/ a train of cars would be jsut as good?
Not married yet but here is my opinion:
worthwhile:
1) great venue
2) photographer
3) great food
4) something fun/unexpected at the reception
5) wine and beer
Not worthwhile:
1) liquor
2) flowers (i'll have them anyways bc of my mom... but i dont really value them)
3) dj
4) fancy invitations/STDs
5) professional makeup
TOP FIVE WORTHWHILE
TOP FIVE LEAST WORTHWHILE
Haven't married yet, but here are our thoughts pertaining to our own wedding/afterparty:
Most important (not in any particular order):
1. Photographer
2. Good Food & Delicious Wedding Cake (yes, we actually plan to eat our cake!)
3. Time to spend with each guest making them feel welcome, and only inviting guests who mean the most to us and who would WANT to be there not just feel obligated (non-monetary, I know)
4. Original / Unusual Venue for our After Party
5. Everyone has a good time! (again, not monetary, but still important)
6. Flowers
Not so important:
1. Free flowing alcohol - it's about celebrating, not drinking yourself stupid.
2. Huge Wedding Cake that is beautiful but tastes 'not so great'
3. Over the top bridesmaid dresses/wedding gown
4. Most expensive invites/STDs (we just want them to be nice and get the information across)
5. Favors (my grandma is insisting she make something, that's her deal)
6. Limos, etc.
*~*Bella*~*
I will think about this and get back to you! Love this list! Just had my wedding a month ago so I will have lots of input for you.
@ Jennifer 4. Officiant. While pricier than a JOP, he connected well with our audience and personalized our ceremony to DH and me.
Thanks for recognizing that the officiant can really make or break the beginning of your big day. It shows that your focus was on the ceremony...the very reason for the big party, and I am so happy for you that you found the right person to make this a special moment!
My list of top 5 should have, in no particular order:
1. Officiant ~ Find someone you connect with and give them a lot of your "story" to make the ceremony personal. This is a truly intimate moment and your officiant should be someone easy to talk to and trust. For info on choosing the right one I wrote this article: http://withthisringwed.com/ChoosingtheRightOfficiant.html
2. DOC ~ Will put all of your vendors on a timeline and make sure you, your family and your friends don't have to sweat the little "fires" that pop up all day.
3. Photography ~ Again, this person will spend a lot of time with you and should be someone you enjoy being around and puts you at ease. Look at lots of samples of their work to find the one that best fits your style.
4. One location ~ If you can have the ceremony and the reception in one location, you save huge amounts by not having two venues or the problems of both, flowers can double up, transportation is not an issue, etc.
5. Flowers ~ They really make the venue come alive and are the "icing" of your dress.
Don't need or spend little on:
1. Save the Dates ~ for anyone, but very distant people that will need to make travel plans and possibly take off work.
2. Favors ~ many leave them. I think a candy buffet is a better way to spend.
3. Your dress ~ Honestly, there are some great bargains and resale. www.thegreenhangershop.com and www.bravobride.com have great stuff all the time. Maybe even the one you wanted already or something better. Bravobride is a great place to recoup some of your wedding expense, too, by reselling items you no longer need after the wedding.
4. Limos ~ Very much a gas guzzler. My sister and her hubby got a vintage car from their friend, who took them around. Very cool!
5. Veils ~ lovely, but they blow in your face for pics, get caught on people and things and yank your head about, then ruin your hair (not to mention, block the view of your hairdressers hard work).
My top 5 in no particular order were:
1. Church/officiant - If possible having someone you know personally and a place you're familiar with, as well as a nice donation (hopefully not a required donation by the church) is a good way to start off the marriage
2. DJ - We had a great DJ who met with us and talked about what songs and vibe we wanted and did a much better job than we could have of picking out other songs and keep people dancing.
3. Flowers - These were mostly DIY but we still had pretty flowers galore (and could since they were DIY) but I loved that.
4. Caterers - Really helped move things along smoothly - again family friends - but they were great about getting food out and running things along to keep people well fed and happy.
5. Photographer - a relative, so again not anything crazy expensive, but he was good and took excellent photos.
Least
1. Delicious cake but not any fancy decoration - just white with a cute little cake topper was fine with us
2. Save the dates - didn't do them (well we were only engaged for four months so ....) but everyone found out by phone calls and emails and such. Better one on one I think.
3. Invitations - Just printed it out at home, they conveyed the info and everyone got there just fine.
4. Limo - We had a party big white van for the bridal party. Much cheaper and a good time.
5. Liquor - we had a little but people seemed to stick with the wine and beer.
Top 5 Most Worthwhile:
1) DJ. My hubby really didn't want to pay for one but I am so glad we did, he rocked and kept everything flowing nicely.
2) My bouquet (for my at home reception). I know, I know it's my beautiful bouquet and call me cheap but I paid $60 for that little bundle of flowers just to toss it to some girl I don't even really know.... ugh. I might as well tossed a couple $20's in the air and saved myself some money.
3) Buying a quickie ceremony package in Vegas. They included everything (ceremony site, limo, bouquet, photographer, videographer, officiant, unity candle, etc) for $500 and all we had to do was show up. Zero stress = true happiness.
4) Dress. I say this because, I loved my dress but.... if I had spent just a little bit more I could have gotten my dream dress. Don't have dress regrets! If a little more money will get you what you've always dreamed of, just do it. Cut back on something else.
5) My cupcake cake. I got my cupcakes at Safeway and I think we paid $200 or so which rocked because I personally didn't want to spend tons of money on cake.
Top 5 Least Worthwhile:
1) Favors. We spent entirely too long making these detailed favor bags and putting them together, not to mention the money we spent on the candy in them--and then no one took them home.
2) Custom colored m&ms. We bought these to originally use in the favor bags but then I realized how many lbs we'd need I just put them in dishes in the candy buffet. People liked them just fine but they are ridiculously priced and no one would have cared if we had just bought regular m&ms.
3) Invitations. So I made these great invitiations with a photo on the outside of our dogs dressed up in bridal attire, damask RSVP postcards, etc. Well hardly anyone actually sent them back to us! Most people RSVP'd by phone, text, email, or in person. I'm so glad I spent all that time and money making them and paying for postage (and return postage) for nothing :P
4) Champagne. I don't even know how it happened but we forgot about the champagne. We bought all these champagne glasses and everything. There was so much food and alcohol there that no one really realized that we hadn't brought out the cases of champagne until we cleaned up the place to go home and saw them just sitting there in the fridge still. Oops.
5) My shoes. I am not a heel person. I hate them. I find almost any heels I've ever worn unbearably comfortable. So I bought these fabulous green heels with sparkly shoe clips to wear at my reception. An hour later they had to come off! I should have just bought some halfway comfy shoes that I could have worn longer.
Top 3 Most Worthwhile
1. Videography
2. Photography
3. Venue
Top 3 Least Worthwhile
1. Save the Dates
2. Grooms cake
3. Favors
I can't make a list because I haven't had my wedding yet, but I'm going to go against the grain on one thing that most people have listed as unneccesary: transportation! We're spending a small fortune on transportation including two limos and a trolley. I don't know how we would have any other option to get everyone around. EVERYONE in my family drinks, especially at weddings (we're Irish) and it was important that we have transportation for the wedding party, parents, etc. and for everyone to get back to the hotel safely that night.
I dont know if I can think of the 5 most least worthwhile! My top 5 worthwhile would definitely be the venue (gorgeous view!), the food & drinks, the photobooth, photography and my dress!
I would say one of the most least worthwhile was the DJ - not the music itself but our DJ wasnt good. Most people didnt notice and he DID get people dancing, but little things throughout the night that we noticed just made me upset later! So I guess the price we paid vs the service was not worth it. Another least worthwhile would be the transportation.
I liked everything else we did for our wedding and cant imagine not having it, so I cant say anything else was least worthwhile :)
THANK YOU - I feel myself returning to this post time and time again. These are super helpful and what a fantastic ‘heads up’ guideline. I already feel one up on important conversations, conversations that have the potential to be drawn out drama filled headaches.
How does anyone feel about videography?
AWESOME THREAD! Thanks so much everyone for the assistance!
Ahh this helps me so much!! thank you everyone and anyone else that can add more would love to hear it! It sounds like the one thing EVERY bee wont forego is the photography and I completely agree! It seems like one thing that every bee says let it be is the ton of flowers. Seems like they are very expensive for a one night thing and it doesnt make much sense! I am planning to do bouqets for myself and brides and then use the bouqets on some of the tables for centerpieces with votive candles around them. Once I get married (Aug 2010) I will definitely post here as well!
I would say centerpieces were a little worthless. I just spent so much time and money worrying about them and in the end no one really cared that much. The church musicians were also an added expense that we had to have because of our church. I wish we wouldn't have had to pay so much for them, but it was a church rule. Professional makeup is worthless. I did my own and it was so much more worth it and turned out better than any pro trials.
Liquor was also pretty worthless. We had a keg and thought it would run dry pretty fast. It was still going strong at 11pm and we were worried it wouldn't get finished. Luckily some friends took care of that. We also bought a ton of wine and most of the bottles were left unopened. We were able to return them to the liquor stores and get our money back, so that was nice. But spending money on a ton of liquor isn't worth it in my opinion.
most worthwhile was definitely photography, my dress, the tuxedo rentals, and the little unique things that made the wedding "us" - like science test tube favors, sunglasses, a birdcage veil, frog cufflinks, and red shoes. I was also glad we added some ribbon wands right in the last few weeks before the wedding - they made the grand exit out of the church feel magical! Doing hair and makeup trials is worth it. I had some disaster trials and I would have been pissed if those things had happened on the wedding day and ruined all my photos. So pay for the trials!
My list is not what I actually spent the most on, but what I wish I would have spent my money on...I think I would have had few regrets!
top 5 most worthwhile:
top 5 least worthwhile
My most worthwhile:
I don't know that I would say that anything we spent was not worthwhile, but I'm glad we hardly spent anything on flowers (flowers for the whole wedding were less than $60) because they weren't necessary.
Must have top 5:
1. Photobooth - great candid shots of everyone
2. Videographer - there is so much you miss out on
3. Alcohol - keeps the party going
4. DOC - she was a huge help
5. Venue - if it's pretty it doesn't need as much decoration
Least important:
1. Cake - Mom's insisted but I would have been good w/cupcakes
2. Invitations - I printed our own and they looked great
3. Veil and jewelry - ordered mine online for a great price
4. Transportation - we used Brett's convertible Mustang
5. Flowers - our red carnations looked beautiful
Most worth it/top priorities:
1. photography
2. dress
3. flowers
4. open bar
5. reception in a hotel
Least worth it/lowest priorities:
1. chair covers
2. live band
3. custom, super fancy engraved invitations
4. extensive linens
5. out of town bags
*bump* im hoping more people will respond to this because its another post I find really helpful!!
I love your list and totally agree! People get caught up in the little things that really don't matter!
most worthy
1- food
2- alchool
3- dress
4- music
5- hoenymoon
less worthy
1- std (we made a youtube video and sent it)
2- real flower (they die, we are using Moroccan lantern and feather roses for the bouquet and boutonnière)
3- invitation (i bought a ready to print kit only $20)
4- limo (why?)
5- professional makeup (i can do it myself)
Most important:
1. Venue
2. Dress
3. Photography
4. Music
5. Hair/makeup
Least important:
1. Cake
2. Flowers
3. Invitations
4. Save the dates
5. Favors
Hmmm.
Most worthwhile:
1) Great rings. After it is all over you are going to be wearing these every day. Pick something beautiful, durable and timeless. Low profile is a good idea.
2) A great suit for your guy. Not only will he look terrific but this is actually USEFUL long after the wedding, unlike the giant white marshmallow.
3) Bustier. Last minute purchase deemed necessary by my super smart sister. Transferred the weight of strapless dress off my small bust and onto my hips. Not having my dress slowly slide down with every person I hugged: priceless.
4) Super Photographer
5) Fantastic Officiant who knows you and can set the proper tone (whatever you wish that to be).
6) Thank you cards for all; wedding albums for parents/grandparents. A huge hit.
Least Worthwhile:
1) Paper STDs/Invitations: Designed lovely stds/invitations that were sent out as email attachments. RSVP was also by email (had final numbers within 3 days of sending invitation- made all further planning/budgeting much easier). Cost 0$.
2) Favors (nobody cares) Ditto out of town baskets, chair covers etc
3) The expensive dress. You need a dress that looks terrific but there are many lovely reasonably priced dresses out there. I know, I know, I drooled over the Oscar de la Rentas too.... but seriously. Think hard about what you want to do on your wedding day: laugh, embrace, eat, and dance, (breathing and peeing are also recommended). Make sure you dress can easily perform all of these tasks. Extra points if it doesn't make you feel as though you have to suck your tummy in the whole time. and yes EVERYONE is going to step on it.
4) High heels. There is enough pain in the wedding process (guest list!?) without inflicting it on yourself. Think about it: you will not be sitting down for at least six hours, you will be dancing... do you even want to spend 10 seconds on your wedding day wishing that your feet didn't hurt? I know you are thinking that you will just switch to flip flops but flip flops are useless for dancing and the loss of height will cause your dress to puddle around you. Wear. Fab. Flats. Hem dress accordingly.
5) Fondant.
Top Priorities:
1.) Photographer. We really connect with ours, on both a personal and professional level, which will make the wedding that much more fun.
2.) Caterer. We probably overspent for our tiny budget, but since our venue was free, we decided to splurge on really amazing food. And we plan to eat a lot of it! :)
3.) Save-the-dates and invitations. I know I'm in the minority on this one, but I think that paper goods are very important. For me, they set the tone of the wedding, and well, they were just really fun to make. :) (Maybe this is because I'm an invitation designer.)
4.) Favors. Also in the minority, but I love the idea that our guests will take home a delicious little souvenir. I keep thinking of how fun it was to get goody bags at birthday parties when you were a kid--same concept, bigger scale.
5.) Alcohol. Strong and plenty, please.
(Venue would have been on this list as well, but ours was free, so the value is ... unquantifiable? :)
Low Priorities:
1.) Live music. While nice, it would have been unfitting to our intimate cottage wedding.
2.) Expensive dress. I found one I love for next to nothing and I've never had dress guilt.
3.) Centerpieces. Yeah.
4.) Flowers in general. We're just going to DIY ours and hope that they'll be beautiful even if they haven't been professionally arranged.
5.) Fancy cake. "Tasty" is more important than "ornamental" to us, and we can get a yummy cake for much less, if it's not covered in fondant and elaborately decorated.
Top priority:
1) Rings
2) Food
3) Honeymoon
4) Venue
5) Photos
Less priority:
1) paper stuff (invites mostly)
2) cake
3) flowers
4) couture dress (under $500 please!)
5) STD's (didn't have 'em!)
6) Limo (didn't have it!)
7) church ceremony (didn't have it)
8) bridesmaid dresses (they didn't have to be 'perfect', they just had to be, and they had to be affordable and in the color, that was my only need)
9) anything "extra" as in not necessary
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