Torn between family camping trip and best friends wedding shower.

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I go to my boyfriend's trip or my best friends wedding shower?
    Skip the camping trip and attend the wedding shower. : (4 votes)
    5 %
    Go on the camping trip as planned and skip the shower. : (48 votes)
    55 %
    Go for half the trip and drive home six hours to attend the shower. : (35 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 2
    42166 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    tysonchik59:  I would go on the camping trip then come home early and go to the shower.  I  know that it can be hard to drive 6 hours when you are alone and perhaps not a confident driver, but you can break it up into 2 hr segments. That’s do-able right?

    Post # 3
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Prior vacation plans are a reasonable excuse to miss a shower. You’ll be at the wedding, right?

    Post # 4
    2387 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    tysonchik59:  I would go on the camping trip since it was planned first and then rescheduled for you already. If you go on that are you having to drive both ways by yourself? If so I wouldn’t bother to try and make it back for the shower, but if you & bf are driving up together & you just have to drive back alone I’d go to the shower and just break the drive up into 3 hr segments- stop somewhere for lunch for an hour in the middle of the trip & you should be good to go!

    Post # 5
    2428 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I was in a similar situation, just a little reversed. Our bffs had their baby shower the weekend of my husband’s birthday, which we had planned for family camping. We went to the shower in the morning/afternoon and went camping after. We were a little delayed, but wouldn’t have missed it!

    Post # 6
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I would leave camping early to attend the shower, yes driving sucks but you are an adult and can handle it. if you can’t do that I would absolutely make sure that give a great gift and heartfelt card/ scrap book/ something personal to her sister before the shower so she can have it to open there. Maybe also have flowers or something special delivered to her at the shower so you can be there in spirit as well. 

    Post # 7
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

    tysonchik59:   hello fellow Massachusetts dweller :). This is a tough situation your in.

    I would say go on the trip. Could you maybe make it up to your friend in another way? It just sounds like he did a lot of planning for this trip and it probably wouldn’t be the same without you.

    I had my shower this past weekend and I had a friend who couldn’t make it. I was completely okay with it, cause I knew she wanted to be there but the situation was out of her hands. I would just ask the bride to be if maybe you could take her out for dinner or something to make up for it.

    Post # 8
    906 posts
    Busy bee

    if it were me I would go on the camping trip. Family regardless of the situation takes a higher priority. 

    Post # 9
    2174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Go on the camping trip.  Here’s why.

    1) Your boyfriend planned the whole thing around your timeline before the shower was planned.

    2) A 6 hour drive back by yourself implies that you would also have to drive 6 hours there by yourself, so that’s actually 12 hours total, which is a lot of time.

    3) A 12 hour drive would be about two tanks of gas for me, about $130.

    I’m also going to point out that you knew about this since April.  How is this a problem now?  Did something else come up?

    Post # 12
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Well, I’ll say this: If I were the bride I’d probably understand if my best friend couldn’t make it because there was a pre-planned trip 6 hours away. HOWEVER, if you broke up with your boyfriend in the future I’d probably wish you’d have gone to my shower. If this is a serious relationship that you think has a future and if you’re fairly close with his family then it makes sense for you to attend. But if it’s not that serious or there is drama between the friend and your boyfriend or if it’s just the beginning of your relationship, I’d say go to the shower, especially if this is a lifetime best friend.

    It’s a tough call though. I’d feel bad either way. It sucks to cancel out on a trip that was planned partly around your schedule, but it also sucks to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime event for a dear friend.

    If it were me, I’d try to do both (leave early, drive back by myself) but I totally get how that could be really difficult. I wouldn’t necessarily expect someone to do that, but it does show that you care.

    Post # 13
    346 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Because thetrip was planned first, I would attend the trip. Also since it is a dear friend, I would also buy a gift or give cash with a card, and see if amother friend could bring on the day off.

    Post # 14
    2174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    How does your boyfriend feel about you skipping out early?

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