Post # 1
Hello! I’m a newbie who’s been lurking on this page for quite sometime but finally decided to throw this out there.
Here is my story: I will try to make it short..FI and I have been together for five years. We are both in our 30’s, this is our 2nd marriage, both with kids. We are on a very tight budget AND have very busy schedules so with all things considered have agreed to “elope” and have decided Vegas (lots of reason – friends live there, were we got engaged, etc..). We have actually been enganged since January but decided to save for a ring, which I just got a few weeks ago. Now that the ring is actually on my finger, I am feeling very very anxious to just go and do it!
The crazy, spontaneous side of me really really just wants to book a package and go. I found a really great package around Thanksgiving holiday which works with our budget and excellent timing as far as work, school and my daughters extracuricular activities. If we don’t go then, because of our busy schedules + budget (and trying to avoid las vegas summer heat) we will most likely have to wait close to a year. Doesn’t help that I just really miss my friends. BUT because of budget, if we go now we won’t be able to afford all the “bells and whistles” so to say. It will be a simple ceremony – budget everything. BUT we are both ok with that, we just want to be married and make it memorable!
The other (sensible) half of me says wait…maybe a year? If we waited I would have more time and money to plan… I could get a nicer dress, we could celebrate better, maybe get a nicer place to stay there…things that are not necessary but would be nice. But make it even more memorable. I waited 10 months to get a ring, so why rush now? The sensible side of me keeps asking myself why do I feel the need to rush??.. I don’t have a need, just really want to!
I’m literally torn in two! I keep going back and forth and FI is no help because he is game to doing both but says it’s ultimately up to me! All the “what if’s” are running through my mind. What if we wait and still aren’t able to afford anything nicer? What if something happens that prevents us from even going? The Thanksgiving package looks sooo tempting, I’m a click away from booking it and the clock is ticking. But I keep looking amazing wedding pics, dresses, etc…. and know we’d have to wait if I wanted mine to look just as amazing and will I regret not being able to have that wedding?
If anyone has any advise or stories of what they did, I would greatly appreciate it! When you decided to elope, did you just get up and go? Or did you wait a while to get things together?
Post # 3
Especially since you have kids, I think it’s more important to be married than to sink more money into a wedding.
My FI and I have had a short engagement, and we’re doing a small ceremony.
I know some people want a big, expensive wedding, but I don’t really get it.
Post # 4
We decided just three weeks ago that we were going to elope to Vegas and i am beyong excited. This is my second marriage his first, so i wasnt excited about a traditional wedding. He’s a pretty low key guy so he has no interest in big affairs either. We were going to have s small intimate wedding but we decided just recently to elope in vegas. We will be married next month! It will be just the two of us.
Since you have kids,i think it would be wonderful for you two to take a vacation away from the kids for a day or two to Vegas. Just get married already! You wont regret it.
Post # 5
@canarydiamond: You bring up a good point. Even if we were to save who says we would even spend it on the wedding? If things come up with the kids or the house we would use that savings on whats more imporant in a heartbeat. Most of the reasons for waiting is monatary and it is more important for us to be married. Even if we saved too, it would not be for a big wedding, we already know it would just be me and him and everyone else would be “come if you can make it” type of thing which would probably be less than 10. I’m just selfish and want stuff like a fancier hotel, more and better pics, better after party options, etc..
Post # 6
@lightmist: Thank you for your story! You both sound just like us! We did look into a small wedding here, in fact we attended a few recently that were amazing! We just don’t have the time to plan anything like that and I get crazy just planning my daughters birthday party! We are both low key as well and are not interested in making a big show out of it. But we do want something thats enjoyable and memorable.
As for the kids, I would be bringing my daughter which was the point of us going to Vegas too. I don’t really have resources to leave her for an extended amount of time. I would have to bring her with us, which makes most destinations impossible. We have friends in Vegas, who have kids so we could get some alone time for a little bit without being miles and days away. 🙂
Post # 7
@KJnTW2013: Well that would work out! She would probably love being part of the experience as well as getting to go to Vegas. We are fortunate enough that his parents are going to watch my daughter, but we will only be gone for two days so it won’t be too tough on her. We would bring her but i dont know if Vegas would be toddler friendly.
Post # 8
Whether you choose to elope now or a year later, I don’t think you should spend any more money than necessary on your wedding. Even if you didn’t have kids, you can save that for an amazing vacation/honeymoon. I think you should search used wedding dress sites (because you only wear it once) and spend more on a good photographer. I am doing a destination elopement in our honeymoon. I bought a used dress, fiance is going to be in a simple slack and button down, and we are focusing more on a photographer that can capture the love between us.
I think with the right photographer, you can both be in jeans and t shirts and still feel the love between you two through the photos.