(Closed) Torn, Kids or no kids???

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I have kids at the wedding?
    Yes, let people bring their children : (21 votes)
    40 %
    No, they can make other arrangement for the kids to stay home : (31 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4722 posts
    Honey bee

    A 10 hour drive is pretty far. Typically, I’d say just to have the parents make other arrangements, but I don’t know that many of them would want to leave their kids for such a long time. 

    Can you make arrangements to hire a couple of babysitters to watch the all the kids during the wedding in another room?

    Post # 4
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    @mepayne:  +1 That would be a great idea to have a couple babysitters for all the kids to go to.

    FI and I have chosen to not allow children at our wedding, although that isn’t much of an issue with us. We aren’t allowing children under 10 as all of our experience is that they end up being super bored and make a commotion. I love kids and am a preschool teacher, so it’s nothing against kids, we just don’t want them at our wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We’re not allowing kids at our wedding. Most parents want a night away anyways. And it saves you money not having to feed them or hire a babysitter. 

    But your situation is unique. A weekend will cost a lot for the parents to hire baby sitters for. But I’m sure they have grandparents or other family members or friends who could do it.

    I think in this case I would say children are allowed, and hope the parents find their own baby sitters. But if you get lots of RSVPs including young kids, then think about hiring a babysitter.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I had kids at our wedding… yes one of them said something loud as i was walking up the aisle.  She said .. OH Daddy look, aunty looks like a princess… and started jumping on her seat.  She even said “I DO” louder than i did.  who cares .. everyone is going to remember that part of my wedding, i won’t blend in with all the other weddings they’ve been to… and i am fine with it.  Stuff happens.

    I asked these people (friends/family) to travel either 15hour car ride or 2.5 hour plane ride, if they want to  bring their kids I was fine with it.  And I’m not sure too many people from out of town would have loved me hiring some random person they don’t know to watch their kids. If i had kids I wouldn’t love that idea.

    I was at a wedding once when someone on the grooms side, an ADULT, was conducting a business phone call on his cell.  Rude happens at every age. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Don’t feel pressured to invite them if you don’t want, but if you don’t mind them, then go ahead and invite them! 

    I will say that if it was that far, I wouldn’t bring my daughter, even if she was invited. 

    We’re inviting kids to ours b/c there are quite a few b/t our family and friends, and I don’t want to have to pick and choose which ones make the cut. We do plan on having games and stuff to entertain them (possibly even a bounce house). Most of the kids will be old enough to handle themselves, but we might have someone there to wrangle the little ones…there are only 2 or 3 babies/toddlers. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    12250 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I love kids at weddings! But I work with infants, so I could be biased…

    Post # 9
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Spanglbee: Since you’d rather have your ceremony child free, but don’t mind them on the dance floor, would it be possible to have the children somewhere else during the ceremony and “the boring part” of the dinner?

    I’m thinking on the line of a children’s’ entertainer set up in part of the reception room during the ceremony and perhaps something fun outside, like an organised game or something, at the time of the speeches, during the reception. I doubt it would cost very much, a baby sitter for two hours (present during the entertainment and game to look after the kids)  and a local magician or something for an hour.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We had kids at our wedding, my little cousins… I think there were maybe a dozen or so from about 10 months to 10 years.  Aside from a brief round of tag on the dance floor during dinner where I had terrible visions of them careening into the cake table (one girl’s father quickly put an end to it!), I loved having them there, and they seemed to have fun dancing.  We also set up a separate little table in the corner filled with coloring books, crayons, and glow bracelets that helped keep them occupied, too (and a few older cousins that acted as unofficial babysitters).

    So I definitely think it’s doable without them ruining anything.  But yours is a very far drive so some parents might prefer having a weekend away by themselves, too.  Ultimately it’s your choice!

    Post # 11
    Member
    9063 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I may be slightly biased since I am allowing children at my wedding. If you’re on the fence on the issue, I’d say let them come. If you have a reason to not want them there (Having heavy drinking, no real children you’re close to, etc) then don’t allow them.

    I will probably have a few children at my wedding. One is my godson, the other is the son of my bridesmaid (same age & same name as my godson.. oh dear. They have never met before) and I will have an 11 year old as one of my bridesmaids. I do not know all of the family my husband’s side of the family is inviting, so there may be another stray child on the loose here or there. Not sure.

    The children at my wedding will be old enough to behave themselves (Both boys are six and seven respectively) so I will not have any very young children or infants.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4322 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We restricted the ceremony to kids 5+, but our guests with kids weren’t coming 10 hours. I was worried about crying during vows (I’ve seen it happen and missed hearing vows becasue the parent didn’t bother to get up and take the baby out.)Could you request that young kids be left in a room with a babysitter (both provided by you) for the ceremony only? If it’s on-site, parents might be okay with leaving them for the half hour ceremony.

    During dinner and the reception, even young kids should be fine.  Food will keep them occupied during the speeches and it’s cute, rather than annoying if they chime in then. Everyone will laugh and move on.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1347 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Tradionally, in my back ground, kids are always at the wedding. It always annoyed me. I didn’t realize there was an option not to invite kids. First of all, during the ceremony, they are often loud, sometimes run around, maybe cry. At one of my friend’s weddings, her nephew ran across her veil a couple of times, and on the wedding video, you just see her head jerking back from it.

    Also, there’s the fact that parents can’t have fun. They have to watch out for the kids. You always end up with a pile of them passed out.

    There’s also the added expense of a child, who’s meal you have to pay for, will probably eat like two bites, before running off.

    I’m not anti kid, as much as it sounds, but I am anti kid at weddings. A wedding is an adult party.

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