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That is the weird thing about the bouquet and garter toss tradition when you are getting married at 32.... I only know of ONE other person who has never been married. If you count divorcees, maybe a few more. But, I think I will do it anyway... So, as a 30-something bride are you going to toss either or both?
I'm the last single friend (except for some young college-age cousins who would surely hate it), so I won't be doing this.
If you want to get more people involved I heard about making your "toss bouquet" into a gift bouquet, like with gift cards and candy and interesting things in it; that way it would be open to everyone, single or not.
I'm 30, and I still have a handful of single friends, but I did not do a bouquet toss. I always hated going up there as a single gal, so I didn't want to put my friends through it (especially such a small group of them).
Instead, we had a "bouquet giveaway" and gave it to the couple who has been married the longest.
I am a bit older than you are, and most of our guests are already in relationships, so I won't be doing a bouquet toss. I also will not be doing the garter toss.
I am considering gifting my bouquet to my grandmother though, if she makes it to our wedding. I think she would like that.
No. I know several women who are single of all ages. Not everyone likes participating in the bouquet toss so some brides skip it for that reason alone. If you know for a fact that there isn't a single woman (no pun intended) who is 18+ who is not married, then don't have one just for tradition's sake. It is completely acceptable to skip any and all traditions that don't fit you or whatever situation your guests are in, and most people will not miss them.
i'm skipping both the bouquet and the garter toss. when i was single, i really didn't like participating in bouquet toss; i felt shy and didn't understand why i had to "fight" with other girls over a bouquet even though i did want to get married. so, regardless of how many single people there will be at my wedding, i didn't want my single girlfriends felt the same way i did.
Im also skipping garter and bouquet toss...they both seem so dated...and for myself, just more of something a bride would take part in who has many single friends...i personally have NONE, and FI either, so both are out
I'm only 25 but most of my friends are in relationships and have been for a while, so technically the "single ladies" will be few and far between, however the last wedding I went to the bride forgot the bouquet toss and most of the young (attached) female guests were pretty shattered about it! We're doing it but there'll be no hideous MC targeting people to get out on the dancefloor - if girls want to do it they can and if they don't they certainly don't have to! I'm not doing the garter toss though, cos I can't stomach the thought of the fella up my dress in front of all of our family - cringe!
We skipped the bouquet toss because I knew my single friends would be really uncomfortable with it. Instead we presented the bouquet to my grandparents who were celebrating their 51st wedding anniversary. Yes, we got married on the same day as my grandparents... it was really special and my grandmother cried.
Miss Riley, that is the sweetest idea!
I'm 30, hubby to be is 36. We're two of the last singles in our group of friends, so we're going to skip the whole flower/garter toss thing. I thought of putting my flowers on my grandmother and grandfather's grave as they helped raise me and passed away in '05.
If it is something that you'd like to do want don't want to single out a very small group of single friends - just open it up to all the ladies - single or taken! Then you can still enjoy the bouquet toss (assuming it is something you'd like) but you aren't embaressing any of your friends.
FYI, from my experience, divorcee's do not typically join in the bouquet toss, so i wouldn't count on them to join in :) i don't think i've ever seen someone who was divorced out there trying to catch it!
I'm not 30 but I thought I'd post anyway :) hope you don't mind.
I only had my sister and my brother-in-law's son to throw my bouquet to and the gater toss too. I made sure I aimed right for my sister and my husband made she his aim was right for Ty! It was kinda funny! and fun too!
What about giving it away with an anniversary dance? Get all the married couples to dance, and start knocking them down by how long they've been married (24 hours, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15, etc). We'll get to at least 50 (though we'll get to 60+ if my aunt and uncle make it!). The last couple standing gets the bouquet!!
@afbacher: I love this idea! We're having a very intimate, family only wedding, so it's easy to do this without the dance. My parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary two weeks before our wedding. I think I'm going to give my bouquet to my mom!
I did not toss my bouquet. My friends thanked me for not doing so.
I haven't seen a bouquet toss in a long time. Definitely never for an over 30 bride. I would skip it! I love the idea of giving your bouquet to someone special like your grandmother.
I was concerned as well about there not being enough single women at my wedding. I didn't want to embarass anyone if there were only one or two singles! I finally did a count and decided I would have enough people. I also have a number of single, gay, male friends who have a sense of humor such that they'll be entertained at the notion of catching the bouquet so I'm going to use them as filler.
I am going to skip it too, I have very few single friends. I thought I would "toss" it to/at an unexpecting friend who just started living with her boyfriend.
I didn't do the bouquet toss cause like you, we didn't have very many single female guests. We did however do the garter toss as my husband is younger than me and all his 20-something friends are single. The garter toss was actually a big hit, the guys went after it so enthusiastically I thought I was going to get trampled sitting on the chair :)
Just wondering: is it bad luck/karma to keep our own bouquet? I'm not doing a bouquet toss for all of the above reasons, but was going to keep and preserve it. Is that selfish? Should I be giving it away for generosity and ettiquette's sake? Does anyone know the history/story of this tradition (other than next to marry)?
I wanted to do it for pictures, but honestly there were only a few single ladies at my wedding and they were all in their late 20's/early 30's and wouldn't have appreciated it.
There were only 2 single guys at our wedding. 2!!!!
Do you have any little girsl attending? Because that would be so cute and funny, tossing it to a flower girl. LOL!
I'm not a 30-something, but I'll chime in anyway! We also didn't have any single gals at our wedding, so we opted to do an anniversary dance instead. The winners of our anniversary dance were given the tossing bouquet and the garter, and it worked out beautifully!
We are skipping both for a couple of reasons. Even in my twenties, I always felt like it the garter/bouquet toss killed party momentum. Single girls were always hesitant to go up and the single guys never wanted to catch he garter. Also, we don't really have a lot of single guests and I would hate singling people out.
We have one single gal and one single guy, so we're just going to hand them the items. For the garter toss, I plan to have the garter at my knee, so that Mr. 5642 won't be spelunking under my dress. Ugh. And no removing the garter with teeth. To me, it seems a bit creepy to have a 37 year-old groom acting like a frat boy.
Both the single folks are good sports, so I don't think they'll be mortified.
Skip it! We're also doing an anniversary dance. My bouquet will go to his grandma, married 65 years.
i feel like its kind of silly to do it because i will have maybe 2 single friends at my wedding. but i love the idea of an anniversary dance (what exactly is that?). i've been to weddings where a slow-ish song will continue to play after all the first dances are done and couples in order of marriage seniority will be called up to the dance floor. its sooo cute and surprising to see how long people have been married!
Instead of tossing the bouquet to the single ladies or a garter toss to the men we had a dance-off to see who was married the longest, they they got the bouquet (like ddubzz did). It went to my aunt & uncle (married for 40+ years). Then we asked them the secrets to their successful marriage.
I was 32 when I married, & we had a pretty decent crowd of singles. I *think* I may have skipped it if it were less than 5 people, but then again, I kinda wanted to have my moment since I suffered through the toss for the past oh 12 years or so.
You should check out Mrs. Hamster's post about this- I think she included all of the ladies at her wedding and attached a gift card to her bouquet.
I am 30 and we are DEFINITELY skipping the bouquet toss and the whole garter thing. In my experience, those things tend to happen at weddings where the bride and groom are younger (25 and under). When you get into your upper twenties, no one wants to mess around with that nonsense anymore and be highlighted as the still-single girls in their late twenties and early 30's. I HATED going up there for my younger relatives' weddings -- what torture. Awful. I refuse to make anyone else do this. In addition, having the groom remove the garter is just so weird and raunchy. I saw it done at a baptist wedding last month and it just seemed so out of place at a conservative and alcohol-free event. Kind of creepy, actually.
There will be a lot of kiddos at our wedding and I'm considering letting all the tossing and catching be a kids event.
What if you combined the two ideas? Do the boquet toss with all of the married women. Strap a gift card for a dinner for two to the boquet as a date night for the married couple.
Chances are many of your guests haven't particicpated in a boquet toss for many years so that could be fun without singling people out as single. It also celebrates the marriages of everyone there while giving you cute pictures!
I skipped the bouquet toss. I'm in my 40s and most of my unmarried friends are even older than I am!
I considered doing this . . . giving it to the couple who has been married the longest.
I'm not doing the traditonal bouquet toss either. I'm 35 and not only do I have very few single friends, the bouquet toss was the one thing I have always dreaded at weddings. Grrr! So I planned on the anniversary dance, but unfortunately my fiance's step-father passed away earlier this year and I think it would be too bitter sweet for everyone. So instead I'm going to attach a gift card to the bouquet and invite all the women up to compete. Or maybe I'll just ditch the whole thing.
Thanks everyone, I am going to do the "gift card" attachment and have everyone scramble for the bouquet and garter. ;)
To the person who says can she keep her own bouquet, SURE! Most brides toss a secondary bouquet and preserve their own (if its not fresh).
Not a chance that I will throw a bouquet or garter for that matter. Even at weddings where there were single people it was mortifying to watch, there is no way I would subject anybody to that.
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