- anonymous 7
- 6 years ago
ok…so obviously I’m writing this post anonymously because I cannot even begin to think that I am writing this. My wedding is in less than 100 days – everything is planned. I’m having second thoughts. some background. I met my fiancee when I was 19. He has been my first everything. I love him. We’ve been dating for nearly 6 years, got engaged 3.5 years after first dating….we’ve been planning this wedding for the past 2 years. We have been through some emotional times together (re:family issues and health, etc.) If you asked me 1 year ago if I would be feeling this way, I would’ve thought you were crazy. Last August I moved to another town (about 5 hours) away from the only home I’ve ever known to start a graduate program (my lifetime dream, fiancee totally supportive)…was very nervous about this…as I knew this would be really hard for us…I bawled like a baby after he left when I first moved. The program, living in a new city, living alone for the first time (I lived with parents before, never with fiancee)…was totally new and stressful for me. I met new people, and I wasn’t the mess of a bride-to-be I envisioned myself to be. I immersed myself in school and trying to maintain LDR. In short, I had a terrific time last semester, and I didn’t miss my fiancee as much as I envisioned myself missing him. Also, during all this…fiancee and I had a really hard time keeping connected…he took crazy long work hours to help pay off the wedding and to build our savings for when we are married. Again, I love him a lot and I never thought I would be able to picture myself married to any one else other than him. Anyways, so I have become really attracted to a person that I met through school. This has caught me so off guard…and this isn’t just some random crush, or “i think he’s cute” kind of thing. This is a real – imagining myself marrying this other guy kind of thing. I’m freaked. I tried to talk about it with my fiancee, and he has since made more efforts to stay more connected throughout the day…and having weekly skyping,etc. I thought maybe these feelings would go away…but they have not. I have not done anything with the “other guy” and he has no clue about how I feel. But I’m scared. How can I get married while feeling this “what if” about another guy??? Also, I’m going to add that “the other guy” really really reminds me of my fiancee…they share a lot of traits (good ones), but “the other guy” also has traits my fiancee is lacking (and its only making me notice my fiancee’s lack of these traits…not necessarily a bad thing…but people are individuals and are different). Is this normal???? Am I just missing my fiancee so much I’m trying to project my own feelings for him onto someone else??? Am I just freaking out because 2 years of planning is finally becoming a reality??? Is this a case of cold feet??Or am I making a HUGE mistake???? Please bees need your advice!!!