Post # 1
Alright, I’ve always been a plus-sizer, but a couple of years ago, I went on a medication that caused me to gain ~40 pounds, and then since the engagement I’ve put on another 7, even though my waist/hip size has stayed within an inch and a half of what it was at the time of our engagement. I currently weigh 50(!!) pounds more than I did when FI and I first met.
We’re getting married June 20 and I’ve been meaning to work out all year, but I got incredibly sick (nearly died twice) and it just didn’t happen. Now the wedding is in 56 days and I started sobbing last night over our wedding photographer because I don’t want anyone to take pictures of me because of how I’m going to look on my wedding day.
I know that if I could just somehow motivate myself to really work on exercise/diet I could trim up at least a little and lose enough weight that I could be eeling better about myself than I am now, but I can’t seem to motivate myself.
In the meantime, Mr. Zee just stopped eating fast food and cut back red meat to once a week and has dropped 20 pounds since August. That’s great, and he looks wonderful and I’m so proud of him, but it’s pretty disheartening at the same time.
I guess I just need a little encouragement. I have no idea why I can’t just pick myself up and make myself do this. I’m miserable to the point of tears when I think about being this weight on my wedding day, but instead of feeling motivated, that just makes me feel even more depressed and lethargic.
Post # 3
I hate hate hate working out, but last year I did the Self Challenge and lost about 10 lbs within a couple weeks.
You should check it out! Just keeping track of what you eat and making minor changes does wonders. I ate whatever I wanted, and exercised when I had time, but spending time online actually noting what I did every day made me WANT to do exercise.
Plus, they have awesome EASY PEASY exercises that you can try. I said before I HATE working out, but taking 10 minutes to do some simple stretches really helped.
You can do it! Chin up!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill
MissZee, you are so not alone in feeling unmotivated! Lately I’ve been feeling kind of down on myself for skipping runs, gym workouts and even meals (like breakfast and lunch some days, because of work busyness) and not getting nearly enough sleep. What I’ve noticed is that, in addition to the obvious physical benefits that those healthy habits bring, they do unbelievable things to improve my mood and emotional wellbeing. I know this because I feel terrible when I don’t do them (not in a guilty kind of way)… it’s like my body actually misses them and I am not my usual self.
There was a thread yesterday that touched on a lot of what you are experiencing. There were many good suggestions offered, too. You should check it out.
Start small, perhaps by taking a 30-minute walk tomorrow. You’ll be amazed what a brisk pace and fresh air can do to lift your spirits! Look into programs like the one FlipFlop mentioned… there are many out there. I tend to find the greatest motivation through other people, which is why I love to train with groups. That may give you just the support and accountability that you need to stick with it.
What’s important is that you are healthy and feeling good on your special day! You can definitely do it.
Post # 5
I second those comments above, and one other thing…we CONSTANTLY punish ourselves for things that have happened in the past. Stop. Right now.
What are you going to do starting RIGHT NOW? You don’t have to wait until next week or even the morning. Plan ahead right now. This moment.
And then you are going to do the best you possibly can to look and feel the best you can on your wedding day. Will you lose 50lbs in 56 days? Probably not without compromising your health. But you could lose some.
Sometimes we have to take our battles one day or even one moment at a time. You can do this, and I think you should stop back in and update us frequently as to how you’re doing, because we are all rooting for you!
Post # 6
I’m a plus-sizer who’s gained a substantial amount of weight lately too. I think, since we have more than 5 or 10 pounds we want to lose, we get discouraged because our goals seem so far away. I find myself thinking, "well, I’m never going to be thin anyway, so what’s the point?" What helps to motivate me when I’m feeling like that is focusing on short-term benefits. For instance, my motivation to work out is that I want to be a little more fit so I can walk around the city on my honeymoon without getting tired and winded.
Oh, and if you think you won’t look great in pictures, check out this amazingly beautiful plus size bride:
Post # 7
I’ve put on about 40 lbs since we started dating and was diagnosed with both a heart and vascular condition since which stopped me from doing some of the few sports i was decent at! My medication has caused me to gain about 30 lbs. It sucks , I too have tried too lose weight but it just didn’t happen. No matter what you weigh you are beautiful and will make a beautiful bride. I know it’s hard but the stress never helps when you have so much else to worry about! Do you have a gym buddy? I know that can help. I started taking my dog on more walks , it makes both of us happy. She now pesters me when it’s time for our "walkies". Good luck ‘darlin. please PLEASE don’t make yourself sick over this! it’s not worth it!
p.s. I wasn’t my goal weight the day of my wedding and was really worried , my DH’s smile at the end of the aisle was all i needed to let me know i worried over nothing.
Post # 8
Sending hugs your way! Just remember that every little bit helps, so even if you can only get 5 or 10 pounds off before the wedding (totally feasible…in fact, if you are rigorous about it you can likely drop 20 since you have 8 weeks to go), it’ll still help you feel good! If you hired a trainer, would you feel more inclined to go to the gym?
Also, if after your wedding pics you still are unhappy, wait a year until you lose the weight, then do one-year anniversary pics! You can have gorgeous pics of you and your hubby. You can even put on your wedding dress again if you want, or just engage in a fun photo shoot so you have pictures of yourself around the house that you love, not that dishearten you.
You’re still going to be a beautiful bride! Medication weight gain is a really unfortunate side effect. Good luck!
Post # 9
MissZee, I feel your pain. I have a LOT of weight to lose before my wedding too. I was seriously depressed over the winter, and had a really hard time getting out of that funk. I have joined Weight Watchers and been working out regularly, and feel soooo much better about myself. I feel in control of what I eat, and what I do. Making the decision to make myself feel better was the first step I had to take. I committed to eating healthier food, and started the Buff Brides workout book by Sue Fleming. I am nowhere near my goal weight, but have gained confidence in my self and my abilities. Do your best, and know that your fiancee is not marrying you because of your size! Sending hugs your way!
Post # 10
I don’t know your financial situation, but have you considered a women’s-only gym like "Curves". I hear great things about these places b/c it’s less intimidating to be in an all female environment. I knot that intimidation can be a big factor in not wanting to work out.
Nonetheless, I think the most important thing is not to be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you’ve had a horrific year. Who cares if you put on a few pounds, you’re alive! You are beautiful and your FH wants to marry you just as you are. I think the most important aspect of looking great on your wedding day is feeling great…and I don’t think it’s required to lose weight before you feel that way. And I do think allowing yourself to feel beautiful and less guilty about your weight will make you feel better, which will also help with your motivation.
Post # 11
I think you should consider fitday.com or another online weight tracker program – people who write down what they eat tend to lose more weight.
You should also consider, when you get upset about your weight, do something productive with it – go out and take a walk. Walk until you feel better about your situation. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t get down on yourself – illness is hard to recover from. If you can’t go walk outside, just walk laps in your apartment, or check out simplefit.org or the hundred pushups program for simple workouts – or try exercisetv.tv for workouts. I’m telling you to exercise because when you exercise its not just about losing weight – it makes you feel better about your body and about what you can do with it, and the number on the scale matters less.
Post # 12
I gained a lot of weight due to PCOS, I was even afraid I my wedding dress wasn’t going to fit!!! It did, and even if it hadn’t nothing else mattered except that I was getting married. At first it didn’t seem like that, I thought my little world was shattered. I just got married! My day was wonderful and nothing could bring me down that day.
I’m sorry you feel the way you do, but you have to think positively and hope that if you are trying your best to eat healthier and be more physical that it’s the best you can do. I suggest you speak to a doctor about the increased weight gain, it could be tied to something else i.e. diebetes, PCOS, thyroid, etc.
Either way, good luck and I trust that you will be a beautiful plus-sized bride. I was!
Post # 13
Thanks so much for the pic, Rhiannon!
While you may not be the happiest with your weight or body, you are still the beautiful person that you fiance fell in love with! You can be above average weight and still GORGEOUS! try not to get overwhelmed…you can’t take back the last few months. but, you can take steps up until your big day! you have over a month to feel more comfortable about it all. Drink lots of water (it’ll clear up your skin!), walk often, lift light weights, get lots of sleep every night, and be happy! Who says you have to be a certain size on your wedding day? Do what you can, but don’t let a little weight loss stand between you and the wedding day of your dreams. I’ve always thought that a woman in love, no matter what her size, is more beautiful than anything!
so smile, and start eating a bit healthier! You can do it!