(Closed) Totally Different Senses of Humor – Is It A Deal Breaker?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I think as you grow older, your FI’s sense of humor might get a little more mature, but if it bugs you to the point that you can’t stand it, you may want to rethink being around him. Part of every relationship is loving most parts of the other person (You don’t have to love the willingness to stick his behind out of a window, for example), and appreciating them for who they are!

Post # 5
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How long have you been a couple? Like, from the time you started dating until now.

I know with me, people who I’ve been in close relationship with in the past (exes and old roommates come to mind), the longer we’re together, the more similar some of those things become.

One of my exes had a really dirty sense of humor, and when we started dating I totally didn’t think it was funny, but the more that I got to know him, the more that I understood it, and eventually developed something of the same. After we broke up, it faded, but it’s still kind of there.

That said, in the time you’ve been together, have you grown to see him as any more (or less?) funny? If less, I’d be worried. Otherwise, sometimes it just takes time to grow into it.

Post # 6
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Some space would probably do you both lots of good! Have a girls night and go out without him. Cultivate an interest that doesn’t involve him.

I get a little sick of my husband when I spend every waking hour with him for days on end. We had a huge snowstorm where I live last week and went 11 days at home together. In addition to being stir crazy from staying in our tiny apartment we started to get on one’s another’s nerves. A little space can perk things up and give you some thinking room.

Post # 7
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’ve been in a similar situation. My ex-boyfriend had a very slapstick sense of humor and mine tends to be more dry, like yours. However, he took it to the point where I would often hear the same jokes three days in a row and he wouldn’t respect me when I asked him to stop because he had to finish telling the joke. Also, the longer I was with him, the less humorous I found him. While I will admit that it was a deciding factor in my decision to break up with him, it was not the only reason.

You said that other than this, you love him and want to be with him. With that in mind, it doesn’t sound like a deal breaker, but perhaps just that every once in a while you need your own space, like others have said.

Post # 9
2765 posts
Sugar bee

There are a lot of things I think are funny that do not amuse my wife… I’ve learned to keep those to myself!

At the same time, I (think I) know what makes her laugh and I try to focus on that style of humor…

Is your SO able to make you laugh?  That’s a big factor, I think!

Post # 10
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it is perfectly normal to have things that you once liked about a person actually become something that you don’t like at all.  Our therapist told us that exactly!  It’s part of attraction.  You might initially be attracted to someone’s sense of humor but years later (or in your case months) this type of humor ends up driving you nuts.  It happens to everyone.  You just need to ask yourself if you can deal with it and work it out amongst yourselves.  How old are you?  If he’s a young guy he might mature more over the years.  

Post # 11
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i had a similar issue with my ex. but my experience was that it was just an indicator that i just wasn’t that into him anymore. my current Fiance has kinda of cheesy humor which causes me to roll my eyes and sometimes thinks is way dumb but its also kinda endearing because i love him so much, so it just makes him cuter. i have however said things to him and been like “okay enough” or “i’ve already heard this joke/story 3 times” and he handles it in a good natured way.

so i’m sure that doesn’t help. but i would think about asking yourself is it really about the sense of humor? or is it a combination of other more significant things? and yes, i think spending a night or two a week apart may be helpful. get some different interests that will allow you to spend time with others (book club, walking group etc).

Post # 12
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you could let it go easier if he wasn’t pushing you to watch youtube videos of what he finds funny!

Maybe you should talk to him and tell him that you totally think he is a funny guy and that while you don’t appreciate his sense of humor, you appreciate him and want him to laugh at all the funny youtube videos he wants, you just don’t want to get involved with watching them. 🙂 Good luck!

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