Touchy Subject- Bridesmaid Help

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Member
4366 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Waterbee:  I would call her and ask if she can meet for coffee or lunch. Then talk about it while you’re there.

Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Waterbee:  Can you go visit her or call her on the phone to talk to her? Make sure you ask how she’s doing and really listen, don’t just jump into your wedding. Then tell her that you know it’s probably the last thing on her mind right now, but you need to order your BM dresses soon. Then tell her that you understand that it may be difficult for her to participate and you completely understand if she’s prefer to attend as a guest rather than BM.

That way, you put the ball in her court so she can decide to drop out or not.

Member
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yeah I would approach it from a place of concern and being that being in your wedding will cause her undue stress and give her a chance to decline if she doesn’t seem to think it will be ok.

Member
5327 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She has just lost the love of her life. Your wedding is the last thing on her mind. And now is not the time to bring it up. Order the dress anyway.

What’s the worst that can happen? That she’d rather not be in the wedding and you’ve lost a little money.

But if you don’t order her dress, the worst that can happen is really bad: you will have hurt a grieving friend.

Member
6927 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would definitely reach out to her. But I think you have to build back up communication before bringing up the wedding.

Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would go ahead and order the dress anyway, and I understand not wanting things to be uneven, but she is a close friend, I would not replace her if she decides not to be in the wedding.

Member
4867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jacqui90:  +1. Doing the right thing and standing by a friend who has just been through something this horrible and heart-wrenching is way more important than having even sides. Please don’t replace her. And I’d try to make an effort to reach out to her…like PPs said, ask her to lunch, or if that’s too tricky with the kids, go over and visit for her. Your BMs should be your closest friends, so be there for her!

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