Post # 1
Ok Christians I need your help big time. I grew up in a church where the Senior Pastor is related to me. Recently the senior pastor’s son became Pastor. The Pastor’s Son heard about my engegement and came to me and said I needed to pray and fast about my fiance’s nationality. We have different nationalities. However we have the same race and same belief. We had along conversation about the situation and we both agreed to disagree. He had comments such as “Many different nationalities that come together fail, the bible talks about different nationalties and how its not a good idea” and my statements were ” I’m a true believer in God I have faith he will let us look past that,why are you just saying something when you knew about our nationalties way before our engagement, and the bible talks about being unequally yoked in the form of belief not nationality”. It turned it to a bigger deal because their family started attacking my family with things of the past. I feel they are not happy with my decisions or happy with me or my family for that matter about my process of marriage. My fiance’s father is a Pastor so he will be doing our marriage and couseling. Now with that in mind I’m making my guest list. Should I invite them?
Post # 3
Although I am not Christian, I wouldn’t want to invite anyone to my wedding that doesn’t have well wishes for me. Since they feel so strongly, though, they might not attend anyway.
Post # 4
I really can’t see why they would want to come if they feel like that. I don’t think I would send an invite. But then again, would it cause more family drama if you nixed them?
Post # 5
I don’t have a whole lot to say other than it might not be the best idea for your fiance’s father to be your pre-marriage counselor. It seems like a bit of a conflict of interest and there are likely things that you wouldn’t feel confortable discussing with him (same with your fiance). I think it’s great that he’s doing your ceremony but I think that it’s a mistake to give him the other, super intimate duty.
Post # 6
Ok this is so horrible, I would really like him to point out just exactly where in the bible you can’t be married to a different nationality. That to me is bogus. I’m sorry someone would say that to you especially if your both christians and serving the Lord.
On the invitation line, unless it would cause even more family problems, I would not invite them. You don’t need to have people that aren’t supporting you at your wedding.
As far as the counceling, I agree with Miss SoonToBee. You should really look into having someone else do that. The things that you talk about are so deep and it’s very emotional, both good and bad, but they need to be shared with a trusted unbaised 3rd party. I would highly recommend trying to find someone else to do that.
Post # 7
I agree with flipflopbride….If I felt that strongly I dont know if I would attend an event….do you think they will if you send an invite??? Drama would def follow if you didn’t invite them at all I would think. Best of Luck!
Post # 8
WOW that was inappropriate of him and NOT in line with Christian teachings. Thats incredibly close minded. (And ironically, I am pretty sure that statistically Jewish-Catholic marriages have the lowest divorce rate.) 🙂
Personally, i wouldnt want to invite him. However, I probably would try and be the bigger (and mroe open minded) person and invite him anyway.
Post # 9
- Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House
I think there are a lot of great mixed nationality marriages in the Bible – how about Esther and Ruth?
Are you and your FI going to a church right now? You can probably get pre-marital counseling through that church. You def. want to make sure that you’re going to a church that is going to support your marriage!
Post # 10
That is terrible! I must agree! And like some of the others above…It is quite out of line with biblical teaching. I have no clue where he would have gotten that! I would definately question him on that….in love of course….And bring up the fact that you are both believers….That is the important thing.
I’m sorry you had to go through that…it’s terrible that some people twist the Bible to mean ridiculous things like that..
It’s up to you whether or not to invite him…if you think he’ll make a scene…probably best not to. If not…then why not? Show him love even though he’s a bit nuts…Show him what a beautiful thing it will be. Maybe he has a bad taste in his mouth because of something. I do hope he’ll see what a beautiful thing it is!
Post # 11
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry! I can’t believe someone who believes in Christ would say something like that! I agree with Iamalighthouse on whether or not to invite him-if you think he’d be a problem-no, don’t do it. But if not, be the better person & invite him. You guys are in love. What someone else says shouldn’t matter.