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I love the idea as well, but after talking to my caterer he said it would actually be a more expensive option. His excuse was that hors d' oeuvers are more costly then a sit down over the course of a few hours becuase of the time and effort that goes into making each piece by hand. He suggested multiple station if I did not want a traditional sit down. My caterer also suggested having a late wedding around 8PM, and having a champagne and desert reception. I liked that idea as well, but all of my guests are coming from OOT, so I feel obligated to feed them.
I'm doing exactly this idea. We're having a long cocktail and canapes reception without dancing (although we could if we wanted). Our venue has a separate canapes menu so the price doesn't really affect us. If anything it's cheaper. We're having our reception in the early afternoon (1PM - 5PM) so we're hoping that people will realize that we're not giving them a sit down dinner.
The only thing we're doing away with is seating charts, etc. We're going to have tables and there'll be two "snugs" (seperate rooms with comfy sofas and chairs - we're having our reception in a pub) if people do want to sit down but otherwise it's standing and leaning room. :)
Nope! Sounds great! I like the idea of having passed appetizers, though. Definitely some food available somewhere! As long as there is some food and your wedding isn't at 430, with reception beginning at 5, you're good. my friend did apps but also included a carving station with rolls. It was plenty but definitely not "sit down"
It's a great idea. Like ejs4y8 said, maybe something like a carving station with rolls would be nice so people "feel" like they sort of got a meal. I hope with the cocktail and apps you and your FH be sure to sit down and eat something at some point (or have your caterer do a pre-made plate).
that is how we did it. open bar + passed hors duerves(sp?)/displays. lots of dancing. no ist down dinner. unless you are doing super heavy hors duerves (think 7-10 pieces per person, per hour), make sure it starts after 8-ish. i put on the website and invitation that it was a cocktail + hors duerves reception. i loved it. hubby loved it. most of guests loved it. elderly people were confused though.
This is what we are doing. We were told it would be more expensive. Thier normal plated dinners are $37-$47 but I think it will be more like $65 for us to do it this way. Not sure yet. I get kind of claustrophobic at sit-downs with more than 8-10 ppl, and I love grazing rather than eating a big meal all at once. We are doing passed hors d'oeuvres (5-6 per person) and a cheese station for the normal cocktail hour and then food stations with like 3 mini meals, or tapas, and a mix your own salad station. I think it really encourages mingling. Our ceremony starts at 5:30 and reception at 7:30 so we'll have plenty of food, just different style.
this is what we are planning on doing too but there will also be food stations. i think its such a modern and cool way of having a reception!!
we are doing this- but be forewarned- this was the more expensive option for us.
i too did not like the idea of the sit down dinner. if you have heavy horderves i think (hope) people will be happy:)
While I think it would be fun because it's a different environment, you do have to realize that it will be much more expensive than a regular plated or buffet meal. Contrary to popular belief, you can have it during the dinner hour but it has to consist of heavy filling appetizers (which tea sandwiches and veggie platters are not) and you need at least 15-20 pieces per person. You also need seating for every single guest which many caterers and planners tell you not to have for a cocktail reception, when in fact, limited seating does not make people mingle. You can cut costs by getting frozen appetizers from Costco/Sam's but then you need to hire someone to cook and serve them if you want them passed. Even if they're just stationary on a table, it's not fair to whichever guest you choose to prepare them since they won't be able to enjoy the wedding at all because they're in the kitchen the whole time.
I am planning to DIY something like this for approx 100-120, in June 2010 also. We have no caterer at all and our venue is a park department club house with no food/caterer restrictions. Plan so far is to have wedding start outside at 4pm then move to the reception space inside right after (4:30-5ish). I will have enough table seating for everyone to sit, but there will be no assigned seating/table placements. We plan to have a very heavy food selection, but for it all to be cold or room temp. Basics stations like the fruit and veggie table (with dips and hummus), cheese board table (with crackers, cheese straws, breadsticks and nuts), cold meat/smoked fish/chilled shrimp station (with cocktail rolls for mini sandwiches) and the like are going to be our main stays. I am also looking into doing some salads (mixed greens/veggies, pasta or orzo) and things like deviled eggs/stuffed mushrooms or cherry tomatoes to get some more food options in.
We're doing a heavy hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, and dancing reception. It won't start until 8:00 pm, so people can either get dinner beforehand or make a meal of hors d'oeuvres. I liked the idea that people could sort of grab food when they wanted it, instead of having a long sit-down meal before we could get to the music and dancing.
I suggest you 'serve' your older crowd and sit them at a specific table or tables and tell your caterer "serve table # xyz" That way the older crowd won't get confused or fall while trying to balance themselves and plate and drink.
One wedding I went to was adorable. They served food in chinese take out containers and had different stations. People walked around and took what they wanted. Subliminally the 'chinese take out' was like 'eating dinner.' And didn't appear to be an appetizer reception. Some people ended up filling their container of one thing and went back to their table and they all shared like people do w/Chinese food. If you decide to do something like this, tell a few key people at each table and let them set the pace. It's a great converstion starter
Personally, I love this idea. I think it gives you and guests more time to socialize. Plus, I love the all variety you could get with a meal like this.
My sister's wedding was a cocktail wedding. It was over dinner time (ceremony at 5) and was very filling - I'm pretty sure the last few plates to come out barely got touched. They started with light snacks and drinks immediately after the ceremony on the lawn, and then we moved into the building later and it started with noodle boxes (YUM) and then other passed appetizers later, finishing with passed desserts. They had a few chairs but not *quite* enough in my opinion. One thing I like about a seated dinner (which we are doing) is that after you've done cocktail hour, you get your own seat, you can leave your jacket/purse/whatever there, and it's like you have a home to go back to during the night. My sister's was a fantastic wedding though and I think it can work really well if it's organised and has enough food!
I like the idea but instead of doing just tray passed hors d' oevures or a cheese platter kinda thing, you should look into themed stations so they are still getting a "meal" and it doesnt look like just hors d' oeuvres. You can do some great things and do short plates (1-2 bite items) instead of a full portion. This can be more expensive so talk to your caterer and get pricing comparisons.
It's a good idea in theory, but make sure that there are plenty of hors'dourves going around during the entire reception. I recently went to this type of reception and by the end people were falling down drunk because they had not eaten enough and this was an older crowd (mid 30s were the youngest). The bride afterwards was not happy about it and was really upset about how it turned out. Just make sure if you don't do a plated dinner that there is plenty of food the entire time.
This is what we're doing. We are doing it during the dinner hour (because of the sunset and having to fit photos in during daylight), but we're making sure that there's enough to fill you up as if it were a full dinner. The other thing we like about this is that we both have divorced families, so the mingling aspect makes it easier on us to know that it won't feel tense or forced during the sit-down portion, or offending one side of our family over another.
It's actually way cheaper for us to do the hors'doeurvres than a sit-down dinner. Our reception's being held at a nice beach-front restaurant, so we've reserved their bar area. It's full of plenty of seating for everyone, from high tables, bar seats and regular foursome tables. And, there was no room fee for us to do this! It's costing us about $20 per guest versus the $35+ it would have cost to do a sit-down dinner.
hi jennifer, i like your (and everyones!) ideas! so what are ya'll putting on the reception invite as far as whats being served??
We're doing a wine & cheese/olive/tapas reception with cake and champagne. However, we're NOT doing seating for everyone. We're having a mix of regular tables and bar height tables so that people will mingle and DANCE. On the invitation, we wrote "Wine & Cheese Reception to Follow" at the bottom. It looks classy. (:
Are alot of your guests OOT? My boyfriend went to a wedding yesterday that he drove 4 hours both ways for (in one day) and all they had was appetizers even though it was held over the dinner hour. He couldn't eat most of them because he didn't have any way of telling them that he didn't eat meat (there was chicken stock in the macaroni and cheese, which he learned AFTER getting really sick) so there wasn't much for him to eat. He didn't mind at all because he's sweet like that, but I feel like if people went through so much effort to come to your wedding, giving them a nice meal is the least I can do.
What about doing a buffet style meal? It's much less formal than plated and it allows you to graze on whatever looks good, meaning you get enough to eat but without the clausterphobic feeling of having to stay seated, else you miss a course.
The traditional way of doing it in Charleston is the looooonnnng cocktail hour--that's what I'm doing!
We're having really filling appetizers with enough different types of them to satisfy all our guests. I'm excited about it, because seated buffet style dinners always keep my family sitting in their seats and not on the dance floor!
Good luck with it! Talk about options with your caterer! It doesn't always have to be more expensive, nor may it be cheap, either.
@nurseamanda - Thanks!
We actually just put "reception to be held immediately after" on our invitation. Since we're not having an open bar (this being a regional thing that is totally understandable by our family and friends), I thought it looked awkward putting "hrs'doeurves reception." I know that most recommend saying that it's not a sit-down dinner to prepare guests, but we're making certain that there will be more than enough food to fill everyone up. We're also spreading the word by mouth, since we're only expecting 40-50 guests.
Also, on the enclosure card included in our invitations, I listed our wedding website and on there it says that it's heavy hors'doeurves and a no-host bar.
I've never been to a wedding like the one we're having, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it goes over well! Most of our family and friends seem pretty excited by the idea, though.
Just make sure you have ample seating. I went to a reception like this once and it ended up being more of a small buffet. No one could sit to eat and it was really awkward.
I'd like to go to a wedding like that because I love hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. I'm really looking forward to the cocktail hour at my wedding, but I'm also having a served dinner. I totally agree with the people who are saying it can be more expensive to do hors d'oeuvres. At my venue during the cocktail hour, a middle of the road price for 50 pieces is $125. That adds up quickly!
I've seen it written as "heavy hors d'oeuvres" before, to let people know it will be somewhat substantial. It shouldn't be a problem if the guests know a meal isn't being served and the ceremony plus reception doesn't force them to miss a meal.
we're doing a full on nearly all-passed heavy hors d'oeuvres reception... over the dinner hours of 6 - 11. for an italian/jewish wedding (both known for their quantity of food excesses) the FH and I both were in immediate agreement over this... not cause we want to save money or have a less-formal affair, but because to us, the cocktail hour is the most fun part of any wedding...
Its going to start with a champagne & signature cocktail hour with 4 or 5 'smaller' items moving around during that...
then we will transition into the full reception... there will be two rounds of food passes - 4 or 5 items in each round... these items will all be bigger - not 'one bite' items, but things like mini peking duck sandwiches in sesame rice buns... My understanding of the overall 'quanity' of food is that there will be about 25 pieces for each person.
after that, there will be a cheese & port pairing station set up along side of our homemade/childhood-memory-inspired dessert & candy buffet... the wedding cake will be passed... there will literally be new kinds of food coming out for 4 out of the 5 hours of our reception.
no seating arrangements, no plates. (FH's mom was against this, but its too hard to balance a glass and a plate AND eat whatever is on that plate!) a mix of round tables, hi-boys and lounge seating...
i used to be afraid that this was not enough food (despite our caterers claims otherwise... but our caterer is a tiny, tiny woman and i was having doubts that her version of quantity and my version of quantity were different) but recently went out for an 'american tapas' dinner with my family... we ordered 9 or 10 items - similar in size range to the items we'll be serving at the wedding - and by the end, we couldnt finish our food. so to put the gormet cheese display and dessert buffet after that? i cannot imagine anyone will go hungry...
occasionally i worry about the handful of nay-sayers who will be 'disappointed' to not have a formal sit down meal (hi grandma!) but then i realize those are the same people who will be disappointed no matter WHAT we do, so really, who cares?
It sounds really fun & I'd love to do it, but a lot of our guests will be older. If you have a younger crowd & fill them full of heavy appetizers, I'm sure no one will even miss a meal!
I agree with the others that said it would work best if your wedding & reception wasn't at a "scheduled" dinner time like 5pm!
We are having a cocktail reception with a live band and dancing. We will have four passed appetizers and stations-a tapas bar station with Spanish tortillas, bravas potatoes, garlic shrimp, pomegranate marinated quail, calamari, tapenades and dips. We are also having a Casear salad station, paella station (rice with chicken, sausage and seafood) and a carving station of beef and andolouse pork. We'll have a dessert buffet and a full open bar.
Of course, our ceremony is a full Catholic mass at 7 p.m. and our cocktail reception begins between 8:15 and 8:30.
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Hi Ladies,
I have been to a lot of weddings this summer and they've all given me so much to think about in regards to my own wedding, which is June 5, 2010. What I have taken away from them most is that I live for the cocktail hour, the dancing, and the drinks, but not so much for the sit down, butlered aspects of the wedding.
So, my question to all of you is: Do you think having a wedding designed like one loooong cocktail hour with dancing is a bad idea? We'd still have tables and seating, but not a traditional course by course reception. Not sure how to do this yet, but the idea is exciting to me....
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