(Closed) Traditional vs. writing own vows

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Are you doing traditional vows or are you writing your own?
    traditional : (33 votes)
    44 %
    writing own vows : (36 votes)
    48 %
    undecided : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We’re writing our own. It was actually hands-down one of the easiest decisions we made, and we were both on the same page with it from day 1. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We are doing ours the traditional way but thats because im too nervous to speak in public and i will freak out saying my own vows..

    Post # 5
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’m so torn about it! I think there are great reasons to do both. 

    Traditional: 

    – Its kind of nice to use the same vows lots of other couples have used, especially if you do the same ones as others in your family

    – They’re meaningful without turning it into a mush-fest

    – but they’re a little boring 

     

    Write your own: 

    – maybe more meaningful because you wrote them yourselves

    – unique to you

    – But i’m uncomfortable expressing my deepest feelings in front of so many people

    Post # 7
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    We had the traditional vows by the officiant, and after we said our “I Do’s”, we had our personal vows (short speech for each other); then my father read a reading that he wrote himself for us (mostly bible teachings towards marriage, without making it too preachy), and his sis performed a hand ceremony.

    It was awesome, cause it was very personal and our close ones were involved.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Miss Cheeky – We shared that we’re doing some sort of “I promise” section at the end (i.e., “I promise to love you always, to grow old with you, to laugh with you, to cherish you.) but that’s about it. We want to be surprised!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    FI and I are doing an inbetween (we had this discussion last night). Neither of us want to read super-personalized, clever vows. On the other hand, traditional vows don’t usually speak to us.

    Our plan is to find some simple vows on-line that are more modern, edit them, and just repeat after our officiant.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    We agreed on something short (like, 5 lines Times new Roman, size 12… ended up 7-8 lines for both of us, but it was equal)
    We also said some different things, but on the same pattern:

    -why I love you
    -what you mean to me
    -what I promise you
    -same conclusion for both, with words that represent our relationship.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    @Miss Cheeky: I was always convinced I’d cry all the time. It was part of the reason we didn’t want vows in the beginning, and just wanted to say I DO. But we were scared the ceremony would be to short and cold, so we prepared the vows.

    Seriously, I cry while watching commercials on TV. But not on my wedding day. I was all smiles and I did cry, but (sorry, TMI) only in bed at night after (…)

    The ceremony was the most memorable time of my life, and it was because my husband stared at me in the eyes the entire time. Listening to him saying his personal vows to me while looking at me, and then talking to him… There are no words to describe how special this is.

    I really, really encourage you to go for it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    FI and I decided to do traditional vows, neither of us want to get choked up. Want it just simple so there is nothing for us to forget.

    Post # 15
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    You need to add another poll option, I think we’re going to do both!  I’m thinking we’ll say personal vows to each other first, and then do the traditional vows second.  Best of both worlds!

    Post # 16
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    @gcwest – we did both! we wanted to say something personal, but also wanted to say those lines that you always here and feel so official. it worked really well.

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