Post # 1
When we started planning our wedding, we wanted to keep the guest list around 150-180. Now after planning and both of our parents adding people we are up to 235! Here in Pittsburgh it is a tradition that there be cookies…lots and lots of cookies at the reception. I’m not too fond of this tradition because no one ever eats them! I could have done w/out the cookies, but my fiances mother wants there to be cookies. OK, fine. My friends and friends of the family have all offered to make them. She wants to BUY them. Part of the tradition is making them together and spending time while they bake. I mentioned that maybe she could just buy a small tray and now fiance is upset that his mother may be upset! Stupid cookies!
The other problem is the dollar dance. I know some people are not in favor of it and that is fine, but it is a tradition here and I have done it at almost every wedding I’ve been to. I’ve always wanted to do it at mine. I could care less about the dollar, it is just a nice way to have 1 on 1 time w/ your guests. Now that our list is up to 235 people, I’m thinking that it may take too much time to get through everyone and that really is a bummer. So I’m not sure if I should do it and people can just digest and mingle or to can it.
Post # 3
@bibs2161: I say do what you guys are most comfortable with. I’m telling most of the local traditions and family traditions to sod off. It’s just not our thing even if the family dislikes it.
Post # 4
I’m was born and raised in Pgh and when I told my mom I wasn’t interested in a cookie table she was shocked. My 2 bfs also originally from Pgh didn’t have a cookie table and their mothers had a similar reaction. Idk why but moms just LOVE the cookie tables! It really is a generational thing. If your mom would love the table, I say go for it. I no longer live in Pgh so I think many of our guests would be confused with the concept.
Post # 5
Is his mom paying for the cookies? If not, she can go cry a river.
Edit: If she is willing to pay for ALL the cookies, then let her. You’ll have more time to do other more important wedding stuff.
Post # 6
Yes, she is paying for the cookies. She wants us to go to a cookie tasting to pick out the ones we want. He is all for it for the free cookies, of course!
Post # 7
I’d say let her have the cookie table. Compared to many other brides here, this is a pretty harmless request. You can freeze the cookies that nobody eats and have them for the holidays.
Dollar dance- personally not wild about it. Everyone wants to dance with the bride, no one the groom and it does take a lot of time.
Post # 8
I like traditions but not if they make you uncomfortable. In this case, the cookie table is something you don’t have to partake in or pay for. Its free cookies and its something very specific to your region, which is really cool.
As for the dollar dance, it seems like you want to do it so do it! I’m sure its been done before with that many people. If you decide you’d rather socialize 1-on-1 in another way, don’t do it.
Post # 9
Can you have glycine bags or take out boxes so people can take cookies home with them?
Post # 10
@kerensa – I think that is going to be our favor…cookies and a bottle of water for the ride home. She is set on buying them..someone needs to eat them! lol
Post # 11
Yeah we did a cookie table at the end of the night. It was a hit and OMG we had italian wedding cookies FOR DAYS! lol it was so good and we got to eat tons of leftover cookies.
And for the dollar dance not everyone will participate if there’s 200 people or 50. Just do it anyways. It’s fun to have a private moment with people you wouldn’t otherwise get to. I have some funny pictures from it. Like this one of me and my Mother-In-Law dancing:
Post # 12
@bibs2161: I am from Pittsburgh too and I have seen a cookie table at almost every wedding I’ve ever been to, but never a dollar dance! Since you don’t care about the dollar aspect of it, could you make it something like an advice dance? Guests need to write down a little piece of advice on a slip of paper to dance with you? That’s still a good way to get the one-on-one time without the money part. LOL, or solve the cookie table problem by saying, “if you want a dance, you have to take a cookie!” Kidding about that one. As far as the cookie table, maybe let Future Mother-In-Law have it since it’s important to her, but make her responsible for taking care of it, both in terms of procuring the cookies and making sure they’re all gone at the end of the night? Then just put it out of your mind! At weddings I usually do take a cookie for the road!
Post # 13
@bibs2161: remember, not all 235 will attend.
We did the cookie table but skipped the dollar dance.
We had to go bags with the cookies that encouraged people to take them away as their favors. There were still a lot left over, but my family polished them off withing a couple days. They didn’t go to waste!
I would not want store bought cookie table cookies, though.
Husband’s family is from the burgh, but not one of the groups that do the dollar dance and we didn’t want to offend them. You could alter it if asking for money makes you uncomforable, like requesting notes or well wishes instead of cash.
Post # 14
@bibs2161: That’s funny. I’ve never heard of a cookie table or a dollar dance. I’m on the same page of shying away from traditions, but different traditions it looks like. I don’t care for the wedding cake thing. Nobody seems to eat cake. I’ve been to quite a few weddings and I’ve never had a piece of cake. I am thinking of doing cookies instead of cake (haha, opposite of your problem, I’ve never seen cookies at a wedding up here)
I’m from Western Canada and we have a franchise here called cookies by george- they are cookies to die for. SOOOOOO delicious, so we were thinking of ordering from them because I think our guests will apreciate it more, and they’re seriously so good I think they’ll all get eaten and I won’t have to worry about extra cookies for months.
I say do whatever you want. It’s your wedding, and if you don’t want a cookie bar, then dont have one! If your Future Mother-In-Law is putting up a fit about it, just be honest and say its your wedding and you would prefer to not have one.