Post # 1
I have a bit of a problem in that I am a traditional girl at heart and would like my boyfriend to ask my Dad for permission to marry me before he proposes.
However, I think the only thing holding my man back from proposing is the fact that he is really nervous about asking my Dad. He and my Dad have a great relationship and my Dad is always saying what a great guy he is. I just don’t get what the deal is in asking him.
I am pretty sure that my man will propose on our 3rd anniversary. (7th July.) Which is plenty of time to ask him. My question to you is should I tell him that asking my Dad isn’t such a big deal, or should I just leave it and hope that he gets the courage to ask him?
Post # 3
Have you had a conversation about this before with your BF? Just curious as to why you think he would be nervous if he has a great relationship with your pops.
Post # 4
We have discussed it, and this was the outcome. I think he’s worried that he might say no and then he feel that he couldn’t propose for the fear of causing an argument. (My BF and I are both people who avoid confrontation and hate arguments.)
Post # 5
I think you probably just have to let it go and hope he talks to your Dad on his own. Especially if he knows that’s what you want, just make sure that they have time to themselves to talk, and your boyfriend should step up. It might not be till closer to the proposal when there’s a close deadline, but I’m sure he’ll speak with your Dad if he knows that’s important to you.
I would leave it be and see what happens. Especially if you’ve been dating for years, it can’t come as much of a shock to your Dad.
Post # 6
I think you should stay out of it. If he wants to ask your dad, he should just do it. Do you alreadyhave an idea of how your family feels about him? If you know your family likes him then there’s nothing to worry about. 🙂
Post # 7
I agree stay out of it. In fact I highly doubt that’s the reason he is waiting…
Post # 8
Definitely let it go- if you want a proposal with that stipulation, you have to wait for him to feel comfortable to ask.
Post # 9
Does he know that you would want him to ask your dad? FI and I had had conversations about that well before we were thinking about engagement, where I mentioned that I thought it was nice to get family support before proposing, and he agreed that it was the right thing to do. So I didn’t have to worry about him knowing to do it.
Just wondering if your boyfriend knows that’s important to you. He’ll get up the courage.
Post # 10
@armychica06: that is good advice.
Your BF knows that you want him to ask Dad, I’d leave it at that. Good luck waiting though, I know it can be hard and frustrating at time.
Post # 11
Let it go!
He will do it when he is ready. My DH did it at the very last minute (asked my dad for his blessing on Thursday and then proposed on Saturday).
Why would he think your dad would say no? He probably is just procrastinating till the last possible minute!
Post # 12
I agree, let him do it his way. I wouldn’t say anything else on the matter to him. If he knows it’s important to you, he’ll do it eventually. I’d be nervous too!!! I have a good relationship with SO’s parents but if the shoe were turned and I had to ask, I’d still be puking from nervousness.
Post # 13
I made sure that my FI KNEW that asking my Dad was a big deal and even though he and my dad have a great relationship it was still difficult and nervewracking to him. But, he knew it was important to me and my family and he really wanted to marry me so he did it! Difficult as it was for him. In the end he still says that that was almost as emotional as when he asked me. Because, for him, the engagement process had already begun. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already know my answer. lol
Post # 14
I think if you already mentioned it to him, there’s no reason to mention it again. He knows how you feel and will make a decision. If he decides NOT to ask you dad, don’t make a big deal about it. Yes, you will be disappointed, but it’s really not the end of the world. Conversely, if he does decide to do it – it’s a win-win!
I really wanted DH to ask my mom’s permission, but he didn’t. We went over the morning after he proposed and he brought her flowers and asked her blessing. It all worked out in the end – and in the grand scheme of things – was not a big deal (the asking prior thing).