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The only error I could catch was in the Spanish version, it should be "nuestro" right before unión. Looks like you just left the R out.
something else i would change is that is should be "nuestra" unión, not nuestro and sábado and septiembre shouldn't be capitalized.
sábado and septiembre start with lower case letter... all the months and days start with lower case letter in spanish
veinticinco is a full word
ENGLISH: Together with their parents, (bride name) and (groom name) request the honor of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, September twenty-fifth,two thousand ten promptly at noon
SPANISH: Juntos con nuestros padres, deseamos el honor de su presencia en nuestra ceremonia matrimonial que se celebrará el sábado veinticinco de septiembre del año dos mil diez a las doce de la tarde
might want to recheck MY spelling
Also I would change the wording a little because it just doesnt flow for me personally Junto con nuestros padres, deseamos el honor de su precencia en nuestro enlace matrimonial que se llevara acabo el.....
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I am doing my own invities due to the bilingual nature of our wedding ;)
Before I order it I want to be REALLY sure that I have the translation as close as possible and that the spelling is correct.
I would really appreciate your help and any suggestions. I want to keep it semi formal and short and sweet since this is going on a 5" invite due to the 5.5x5.5 Pocket fold.
Thank you :)
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ENGLISH: Together with their parents, request the honor of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, September twenty-fifth,two thousand ten promptly at noon
SPANISH: Junto con nuestros padres, deseamos que nos acompañen a nuesto unión matrimonial que se celebrará el Sábado veinti-cinco de Septiembre del año dos mil diez a las doce de la tarde