Post # 1
Hello everyone, I would like your opinion on my situation…
My boyfriend and myself are in a big dilemma right now (but a good one, if that is possible). We are both 29 and he told me the other day that he thinks he might be ready to have kids soon. That sounds great to me because he was not sure he wanted kids a few years ago and it would have been a deal breaker for me.
We traveled a lot in the past 9 years we have been together but there is still one place we would like to go to complete our european tour: Germany. We were planning to go there in june 2015 (we want to save some money next summer to pay faster for our home).
But the baby plan interfere a bit with this idea if we don’t wait to TTC. I know that some people in my family had some trouble getting pregnant (it too 5 years to my parents to have me, 2 aunts had miscarriage and I have a cousin who is not able to get pregnant even if everything seems ok) so i don’t want to wait too much in case it take some times before I get pregnant.
So what should we do? Should we wait for the baby until the summer of 2015 or should we give it a try soon and forget Germany for a couple of years? We are both unsure on what to do, so do you have advice? Is there a possibility we regret the choice we will make?
Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
@Black_bird: hhhmmmm thats a hard one since 2015 is still 1.5 yrs away, but your still young so thats not gonna make much difference if you wait til then.
i say travel the germany before having a baby, because as much as you think youll go back after you have kids you may not as money will be tighter, kids in school etc, it just doesnt happen as easily.
we’re goin overseas for our big overseas experience next year, travel is one thing we feel like we have to do before having kids otherwise we never will the way we can without children.
but only you know whats right! if its only one place , eg Germany, you could take a toddler there easily as its not like youll be back packing all over Europe…..
Post # 4
@Black_bird: if it was me, I would either do Germany in 2015 and wait to TTC or, I would try and fit Germany in next year, I wouldn’t give up on that dream, it might lead up resentment.
Post # 5
It would be a no-brainer for me, I’d go for the baby – but that’s just me! You’d have to decide how important it is for you to do this before kids come along. I mean, Germany will always be there – it’s not like you’ll never be able to go if you don’t go now. You could also start trying, since as you said you never know how long it will take to get pregnant, and keep saving up for your trip in case a pregnancy doesn’t happen by then.
Post # 6
@Black_bird: I’ve known many couples who’ve made it a priority to travel, even with infants and small kids in tow. (Certainly, you wouldn’t want to travel with an infant who can’t be fully immunized yet!) I think if you are committed to scheduling, planning, and saving then kids and international travel are quite compatible. My husband and I have discussed how we wouldn’t hesitate to pull our future kids out of school for extended periods to travel and live in other countries. This is a great blog on the topic: http://www.thelittletravelers.typepad.com/
Post # 7
My DH and I are die hard travel addicts as well. Is there anywhere more exotic than Germany on your list, though? It’s easy enough to bring a kid there (rent a vacation apartment instead of hotel, but Germany is super easy to get around with a kid).
I’m the same age as you, and we are headed to Antarctica/Argentina for my 30th b-day in January. We want to do a big safari trip before a baby, too, probably in 1-2 years.
Travel is one of the most life altering and amazing things a person can do (and not many Americans do it, so take what a lot of bees say with a grain of salt. Most people here have not traveled much outside of all-inclusives/resorts/cruises etc). You CAN do it with a kid (i’ve met many people on my around the world sojourns with their kids!), but it is a different type of trip. If you want a freer trip, go first, have kids later. You have the rest of your life to be a mom.
Post # 8
Thanks for those anwers!
Germany is really the place we want to go since we went to more “exotic” destinations before (Morroco, Senegal for instance). But we want to take our time and enjoy the nightlife in Berlin so I don’t think taking a baby with us would be a solution in our case.
And what do you think about starting to try soon and travel to Germany if nothing happen since then? Does it sound too much like a consolation prize?
Or what about trying in january 2015? Is it a good idea to travel pregnant?
Post # 9
What’s more important to you right now? I think you’ve gotta figure that out first.
I’m a travel nut – I’ve been lucky enough to venture to so many different countries – FI enjoys it, but not as much as I do. He would choose to TTC over Germany. At this stage in my life, I would choose Germany.
As a side note, I’ve never been to Berlin – but I did go to Munich, and it was amazing!
Post # 10
@Black_bird: My fiance and I just had this discussion last week! For us, the answer was travel more first, and then start trying for a baby. We want to stop and smell the roses and really enjoy each stage of life.
When we first got engaged last December, my fiance and I were so thrilled over the prospect of starting a life together that we thought we’d start TTC shortly on or after our honeymoon. 8 months later, we are still thrilled to be starting our lives together, but we’ve also found that we LOVE where we are at right now. Being engaged has been a blessing and we love this stage of our relationship and life together. In fact, our life is so wonderful that it’s hard to imagine changing it. Yes, a child will be a new and wonderful blessing in and of itself, but there’s no need to rush into that stage and skip enjoing the newlywed stage. It seems that each stage of life offers unique blessing and moments, and we don’t want to miss any of them.
Just last week, we decided that we will go to Greece and Italy for our one year wedding anniversary, and possibly start TTC after that. We want to enjoy the newlywed stage, and then go on to enjoy the baby stage. We don’t want to miss out on enjoying the moment because we rush through to the next stage.
Post # 11
@Black_bird: If you want to enjoy the nightlife, probably not a good idea to travel pregnant as you couldn’t drink/might be really tired/sick/etc. I think you should just wait to try until after the trip and enjoy yourselves 🙂
Post # 12
@Black_bird: Heck, maybe you could try on your trip 🙂 Bring home a nice little souvenir of your last big trip before expanding your family. No guarantee that the timing would be right, but it’s a romantic thought.
Post # 13
I’d choose to travel and have the baby after but that’s just my opinion. My DH & I are in LOVE with traveling. It’s hands down our favorite thing to do and we spend quite a bit of money every year traveling. What better way to take the vacation of your dreams and then come home & start family! 🙂
Post # 14
@Black_bird: You could always bring the baby to Germany…it would fly for free too since it would be under two.
Post # 15
@Black_bird: Germany isn’t going anywhere. It’ll be there in 2015 and it will be there years from now. That being said, we didn’t let TTC get in the way of our travel plans, in February we booked a trip to cruise the baltic in July & booked a trip to Belize in November. Our first month TTC I ended up KU, so I was pregnant on our trip to the Baltic & will be 22 weeks when we go to Belize this winter. But, I must say, we did go to Berlin & Hamburg (ports of call on our cruise) and they were both simply amazing! If you decided to TTC at the begining of 2015 like you said, as long as you were having a healthy pregnancy traveling shouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t have a ton of stamina on our trip and ended up taking a nap before dinner most evenings but we would go out on 8-12 hour excursions & be pretty exhausted by the time we got back on the ship.
Post # 16
Travel! I’d never want to travel with a child period and in my opinion a fun vacation doesn’t include a child. Buuuut that could just be me and my husband since we don’t plan on having children ever.