Post # 1
My husband and I are childless, in our late twenties and we both love to travel. We both REALLY want to travel before we TTC within the next year or two. This coming year our vacation times won’t match up and because of this, I’m thinking about going on a trip alone to Europe for 3 weeks. The husband is a little nervous, which I understand but I also find a little ridiculous considering that I traveled alone a number of times while we were dating!
So, I’m curious as to whether or not it’s “normal” for a wife to travel without her husband and whether or not you’d do it. What are your opinions? If your husband wanted to travel without you because your vacations couldn’t line up, would you be okay with it?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go to Europe without him, but we’re not big travellers. He’s driven to see his parents without me. I might go for a girls’ weekend somewhere not too far. Ditto for family weddings if it didn’t work for the other.
Post # 4
We are big travelers too, and even with our 7 year old son, we till manage to see a good chunk of the world (sometimes with our son, sometimes on our own).
We both occasionally travel for business, my husband more internationally, me more domestically.
We wouldn’t go on a pleasure vacation internationally on our own. When we go somewhere, we like to experience it together, to share the memories. We’ve been so some parts of Europe together, but if my husband ever went to the parts that we hadn’t been before on his own, i’d be really upset (and vice versa). Plus, imagine coming home from your vacation and trying to talk all about what you saw and did, how do you think your husband is going to feel? (sad, jealous, envious, etc).
Also, 3 weeks is a long time to be apart, in my experience. My husband just went on a two week business trip, and it was a nightmare. Granted we have a kid, so that made him being away a bit more of a challenge, but even besides that.. We missed eiachother like crazy. He came home from thst trip and told his company he wouldn’t be traveling for 2 week stretches anymore,,its just too hard.
Post # 5
We’re huge travelers and I wouldn’t hesitate to go without him. Its not ideal, but I’ve never really thought of us as being attached at the hip though. We are both comfortable doing things on our own (though we do most things together). If the vacation times were at the same time then I would feel weird going separately, but if they’re at different times then they’re at different times. Whether it be Europe or Florida it wouldn’t bother me. If it was a once in a lifetime thing then it would bother me more, but if you travel a lot then no big deal.
This subject has come up in older posts and it seems that most bees wouldn’t go without their spouse. I have a friend that has 3 young kids (a set of twins included) and she was pulling her hair out from the stress (she was a stay at home mom). Her and her husband discussed it and she went off to Italy for 2 weeks on her own. She had an AMAZING time and it was completely relaxing. I don’t think that there was one thing wrong with her going by herself.
Post # 6
My husband and I take seperate vacations all the time. Whether it be due to work schedules or the fact that we are not interested in going to that location/activity.
I think there is nothing wrong with taking seperate vacations. Just because two people get married does not mean that they have to give up their individuality or ability to do things solo or with other people.
My husband and his friends like to go to Targa and other car races around the world, which I find extremely boring. One of his friends partners always insists on coming along because they just can’t vacation without each other. She has made these trips unbearable for everyone because all she does is complain about being bored or wants to do other things. She wont even go off on her own to explore the city/town they are in but will sit unhappily with the men all day as they watch the cars go by.
I just don’t understand that mentality. Why punish someone? If you love someone you should have no problem letting them enjoy and experience life at times without you.
Post # 7
I don’t think I’d be able to go alone, but that’s just because I would want to share the expierence with my SO. We don’t have a ton of money, so it’s a big deal when we actually get to go somewhere like Europe. I would feel it is pretty unfair to him if I got to go and he didn’t. That being said, I have traveled without him for three weeks when we first started dating, and obviously I had fun because I was in Germany, but I’m not sure I could ever do that again.
I would say that if you feel comfortable, and he ends up feeling comfortable as well you just do it! I would make sure he isn’t saying he’s worried about you going alone when he really is actually wanting to go with you, though!
Post # 8
I’ve gone on many a girls trips and I will still do so after we get married 🙂
Post # 9
@FutureMRS3lastnames: We go on trips without each other. I went to South America for two weeks with a friend and he’s planning on doing a guys’ trip to the states somewhere too. He’s not into travelling as much as I am and would never be interested in going to some of the places I would like to see.
I don’t think I would do it very often (not several week long trips anyway), but every now and again I’m definitely okay with. I don’t want to miss out on seeing things because he has no desire to see them.
Post # 10
@adoc86: That’s exactly how I feel. No, traveling without my husband definitely isn’t ideal but if that’s my one chance in the year to travel, i want to take advantage! Sorry for the repost. I totally didn’t even think to check older posts!
@FortiesFlare: True. 3 weeks is a long time and getting home, it would be annoying for my husband to hear about my trip that he wasn’t a part of. Great points!
@AB Bride: I agree, a weekend away for a family wedding or a girls trip, I wouldn’t even think twice!
Post # 11
I love to travel and want to do so with my husband as often as possible. The only vacations I take without him are girls’ trips that I take with my teenage daughter on her school breaks. While I’d happily travel alone if I wanted to go visit a friend across country or see a destination he’s not interested in (although I can’t think of what that would be), I want to share as many experiences with him that I can.
If I were married to someone who hated to travel, or had a situation like yours in which vacations coudn’t coordinate, I’d certainly travel alone, however I’d use the “movie rule”- I won’t go to see something alone that he would also want to see. So unless your husband has no interest in seeing Europe, I wouldn’t go without him. How sad that would be for him to have to miss!
Post # 12
Thank you all for the responses and/or voting!
@lorie: I loved that ‘movie rule’. That’s a great way to think of it! I’d be SO annoyed if my husband went to the movies by himself to see something that he KNEW we both wanted to see!
Post # 13
I am a huge traveler and wouldn’t hesitate to go on vacation without him if that is what needed to be done! I would also encourage him to go alone if that is what he wanted and I couldn’t attend.
Post # 14
I’d go with girl/other friends or maybe to somewhere he didn’t want to go to at all myself, so yes. But I wouldn’t go to Europe or somewhere he wants to go without him just because he can’t go. I’d wait unti lhe could cause part of vacationing for me/us is the experience we have together.
Post # 15
I spent three weeks in Europe this past summer without my FI. It was amazing!!! I went with one of my best friends, and though I missed FI, I wouldn’t change a thing about my experience. I was excited to go meet my friend in Europe (we were on different flights) even though it was sad to leave FI at home, but when I came back I was excited to come home to FI, even though I was sad to leave Europe and my friend. So it made coming home just as good as wonderful as leaving. If I were you, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Adding: I also felt comfortable going because my FI went for a month before we dated, and saw a lot of the same things I saw, so I wasn’t doing anything he hadn’t done before. I might feel kind of bad if I was going somewhere he’d never been before.
Post # 16
As someone who studied in Europe for a year in college as an extremely shy person and who has traveled extensively throughout my life I say please go. Traveling is one of the most rewarding experiences ever-especially traveling alone. You will be forced to step outside of your comfort zone and will learn a lot about yourself, become a stronger person, and gain confidence at all the things you are able to figure out and experience by as an independent person. Especially being in a relationship, I believe it’s so important to be a partner but maintain your independent self. That’s on top of all the amazing parts of traveling in general. I can’t imagine someone regretting going on a trip, but you may regret not going.