(Closed) Tricked into having a shower! Help!

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How far in advance is this planned? If it’s very soon, people might have already purchased gifts and it might be too late to change. If there’s a lot of time left, I’d talk to your FMIL and see if she can tell her friends “no gifts”.

I think you should just sit down with/call up your FMIL and have a good heart-to-heart. Maybe she doesn’t realize that you really dislike the idea of a shower, and is under the impression that you just didn’t want to “impose on” anyone or force people to give you gifts. It could all just be a big misunderstanding, and she just thought that she was helping! 🙂

If you still decide to go through with it, just know that it probably won’t be as bad as you think. My family (mother and sister) throwed a shower for me and invited a lot of their friends that I didn’t know too well. I thought it would be terribly awkward, but ended up having a lot of fun. Since you’re doing a luncheon, the focus won’t be entirely on gifts and the whole unwrapping presents thing shouldn’t take up very much time. Or, you could always just say that you want to unwrap the gifts later with your FI, and that you are so thankful for their generosity.

Good luck with whatever happens! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

How did you expect to get gifts off of your registry (or not)otherwise?

Post # 5
Member
46137 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would think of the long tern relationship with your MIL before I made any decision. I think you may do irreparable harm by cancelling the shower and potentially embarassing her in front of her friends.

She did go against your wishes, but it may be one of those generational things. She may have been to tons of showers for her friends’ children and now they want to reciprocate by gifting you at your shower.

Count me in with those who say “Plaster a smile on your face, go to the shower, thank the ladies profusely, and enjoy their gifts.”

Post # 6
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Here’s a little piece of advice– Try to be as understanding and as flexible as possible as you can with your mother in law if you want a happy marriage and a happy husband.

 

A few years back, my MIL and I had a minor disagreement about something.  That put my husband (who is an only child) in a really bad spot.  

 

Life is much easier if you pick your battles and learn to let stuff (especially minor stuff like someone throwing a party for you) and just move on about it.  

 

*If this were YOUR mother who was throwing a shower you did not want, my advice would be  different.  Since this is your MIL, just go with the flow.  I also share your sentiment on the hating of showers– they are lame gift grabs, but this is something that will make your MIL happy.  I wouldn’t make waves if I were you.  This is just my solemn advice….

Post # 7
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would go with the “you want to unwrap gifts later with your fiance” tactic. Or else BRING him, and let him do the gift unwrapping while you lurk in the background.

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