Post # 1
You can tell it’s a slow day at work as this is my second thread today!
Lol anyway our wedding plans have FINALLY been decided (for the most part). But now I have an etiquette question. FI and I will be having a small ceremony (most likely in the courthouse) on a Friday afternoon. This will only include our immediate families and grandparents. Then the next day we will be throwing a relaxed backyard BBQ for a much larger group of people. It will be a celebration of our marriage as well as a bon voyage party because we will be officially moving 700 miles away as a couple. Now my question is, how should the wording on the invitations go? I’ve seen many times on the boards that it’s in poor taste to mention a private ceremony until after the fact. But since invitations will obviously be going out before we are even married how should we word it without sounding tacky or rude?
Post # 3
Send out 2 different sets of invitations- one with a ceremony card and a reception card, the other with a reception card only.
Post # 4
OP, you need to order two sets. One indicates the invitation to the Friday ceremony, and the second mentions only the celebration of your marriage and absolutely nothing about the ceremony.
Post # 5
@Galang_Gyal: I knew some couples that had did a suprise reception for family and friends under a different guise. Send out the reception invites under the idea of a bon voyage party and then when guests arrive you can announce your happy news?
Post # 6
@BooRadley: @abbie017: I probably should have clarified. I didn’t mean I was sending the same invitation, but I guess I felt since we are technically celebrating our marriage and our departure that I was confused with how to word it. If I say “we WERE recently wed and would love your attendance at our celebration and bon voyage” it would be dishonest since we JUST got married the day before. Or if I said “We will be wed in a private ceremony and request your presence for a celebration and bon voyage” I’m mentioning it before it happens. Which is in poor taste from what I’ve read. That’s more so along the lines of why I was confused…not that I didn’t know to send different invitations, but not knowing how to word it to those who won’t be at both.
@missporkchops: Interesting you said this because I toyed with this idea! Hmm…it makes a lot of sense. The only thing is we had already mentioned our date to a few people a while back. And we will most likely keep the same date, so if I invite them to a bon voyage party they will pretty much get the hint. Hmmm…
Post # 7
I haven’t heard that rule that it’s in poor taste. I had a DW but we sent out our AHR invites before we were married.
We just wrote:
Bride & Groom will be married in a private ceremony on (date)
Together with their families they invite you to celebrate their marriage on (date)
Simple and I don’t see how that’s tacky.
Post # 8
@Galang_Gyal: I don’t think you need to mention your wedding date at all on the reception-only invitations. They only need to read “we invite you to celebrate our marriage at time and date and place.”
Post # 9
@PuntaCanaBride: See I wouldn’t find that tacky either! But apparently some people feel it is because having people in the know beforehand might hurt their feelings…? I don’t know, but I’ve seen it said several times on the board. I like that wording though and I was thinking of potentially doing something similar. ETA: What is “AHR invitations?”
@BooRadley: Okay thanks. I guess I felt like doing it so simply might confuse people into thinking this was an actual wedding. Lol delayed marriage celebrations aren’t the norm where I’m from so I didn’t want to throw people off. But simplicity is sometimes best! ETA: I love your user name.
Post # 10
i said “we invite you to join us as we celebrate our marriage”
it didn’t say wedding, cause it isn’t a wedding. but it is a celebrating of our marriage!
Post # 11
@bebero: Okay thanks. I can still imagine my extended family and friends getting confused by this. But oh well this is probably what I’ll do lol.
Post # 12
You can make it an invitation to “a barbeque celebrating the marriage of xxx”. That would clear up any confusion over whether or not it’s a wedding