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im confused by the "rows" this is for the ceremony? i wasnt planning on doing assigned seats for the ceremony.. prob just marking the first row as "reserved for family"
For your side I would sit as follows: Mom and step dad, maternal grandfater/wife, and step mom in the first row and dad/gf in the first seats of the second row. If there's extra seats I'd fill with mom's family in front row and dad's family in second row if possible. If this doesnt work for you it'd be okay to go mom/step dad dad/gf and then step mom.
For FH's side If you put your dad in the second row it'd be okay to do the same with his dad. If not I'd sit FI's mom and then whoever else you can use as filler and then put FFIL on the opposite end of the row.
But overall even though there's hurt feelings I think most adults, especially parents of the bride and groom put their own feelings aside for a couple hours of the day in order to make things more comfortable for their children. Afterall this is your day- and apparently they've all had several of their own- and should know better than to do anything that would ruin things for you or FI.
I don't think I'd worry about the actual seats, bc these are adults and can seat themselves. If you have ushers/others who will be helping people to their seats I would just let them know where you want the mothers, and let everyone else move around that. Unless you think there are people involved who would be upset if they didn't have a specially reserved seat and/or would kick up a fuss if they ended up next to the wrong person? I can't imagine anyone sensible doing that, it's YOUR wedding and the ceremony doesn't go for very long so surely they could suck it up :)
Don't stress too much over it. Like other bees said, hopefully the adults can set aside their grudges for your wedding day!
Don't split up couples - even if a parent's new significant other isn't close to you or your FI, that person still needs to sit next to their date/current spouse. And as pps have said, don't stress out about it too much, these are all adults who should be able to act mature and cordial for your wedding. But you and your FI know everyone best. If you think someone might be hurt, explain the situation before hand, and get everyone's buy in. If it is any reassurance, my stepsister's wedding had a similar mix of steps and exs on both sides, and everyone was on their best behavior with no hurt feelings :)
I would just reserve the rows, and let them figure out their seats when they get there. They'll work it out.
I think that at the Rehearsal Dinner I'm just going to tell my parents (mom, step-dad, dad, gf) that they are in the first row and tell Gpa, his wife, Gma, Step-mom that they are in the second row. I just want to make sure those people are close and in a spot of "importance." I'd just hate to hurt anyone's feelings.
As for FI's side... I'm hoping his mother brings an escort so he can sit in between her and FI's dad. If not, I'll ask his Gma to sit there.
Easy enough, I guess. I freaked out thinking about people being uncomfortable or offended. But you're all right... It's OUR day and they can just deal with it for 15-20 minutes! :) Thanks everyone... you always help me see reason!
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I need some advice, please!!
I have a pretty tricky family tree, but the gist of it is this: my mom is now married to her third (and final) husband and my dad is divorced from his second wife (to whom he was married 13 years) and has a long-term girlfriend.
My mom is... my mom. She's amazing. Her husband has always been great to me, but came into the picture too late in my life to be a step-father-ly figure.
My dad is... again, my dad and a great one at that. He's always supported me and taken care of me. His girlfriend is nice, a bit awkward and I don't know her that well, but always pleasant to be around.
My step-mom (dad's ex-wife) is super important to me. She was my step-mom for 13years (7-20) and I lived with her and my dad for a long time. I couldn't ask for more in her. She was always there for me, had the "important talks" with me when my parents didn't, and is very close to me to this day - 5 years post-divorce.
FI's parents are also divorced and his dad is remarried. His mom hates his dad (he cheated and broke up the family when FI was 22 then married the other woman) and well, they just do not get along. His mom may have an escort, but I am still not certain about that.
Each of our moms will take the first row first seat position, but what after that? On the groom's side... Can we expect his dad to take the seat next to his mother without issues? Obviously, his step-mother will not be sitting there! If his mother doesn't bring an escort, would it be appropriate to position FI's paternal grandmother (whom MIL is very close to) in the second seat with FIL and wife to follow?
On my side... Should my step-dad be seated to my mom, then my dad and his girlfriend? What about my stepmom? (whose bf is not able to make it) I want her in that front row, too, way more than I'd like my dad's girlfriend to be. And if we do place FI's grandmother in the front row I'm afraid my grandmother (who is also single) will be offended.
I plan to place my maternal grandfather and his new wife (he's widowed) in the first and second seats of the second row, then it's open seating. FI's second row will be aunts and uncles and maybe his grandmother (if she's not in the front row).
Ugh, I just don't want to offend dad's gf, step-mom, or grandmother NOR do I want to upset MIL or FIL. Plus, I'd really like to have the same number of seats in each row.... I'm kind of particular like that.
HELP!!!!
PS. The reception is open seating (small beach wedding) and there will be two reserved tables for parents... NOT bride/ groom specific!