Tricky situation- feeling bad

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
29 posts
Newbee

I think you’re completely fine. It sucks that not all of your family might be able to go to her wedding, but you most definitely did not cheat her out of anything, it’s not a competition anyway. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

KiwiDerbyBride:  It’s really nice that you are thinking like this. I think the only thing you can do is let your guests make the decision fro themselves. Some will come to yours, some will go to her’s and some may come to both. 

There must be a reason why she changed her location (possibly because someone on the groom’s side who is a VIP can’t travel) and I am sure she realised the conflict when she made the decision. She has made the decision so she must be good with it anyway the cards fall. 

I think as long as both of you make the conscious decision not to take declines from your guests to your invites personally then all will be good. Try to remember that they are in a tough position and have to go to the weddign that best suits their schedule and budget.

Post # 4
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You had your STDs ready so I don’t blame you for sending them out. You’d probably be irked if the same thing happened to you but I’m sure some family will still go to her wedding.

Post # 5
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

Why don’t you guys arrange to have your weddings like…a week apart from each other? Then family can come over for a two week period and only travel once and you can both have family?

Post # 6
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

you have nothing to feel bad about!

Post # 8
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

It might be worth mentioning as an option, and just explain you can’t move yours due to deposits. She may not be interested, but she may also not want to do that out of worry that it’ll offend or bother you to have your weddings that close to one another. That way even though your wedding was booked first and will probably get most of the family, you’re working with her to help her have everyone at her wedding, too! Everybody wins! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You’re feeling bad because you sent out save the dates and some ppl might choose to attend your wedding and not hers? Why? Whose wedding ppl choose to attend is not your decision. She knew your date and location before she chose the date and location of her wedding. For all you know, she did this on purpose so she’d have fewer ppl attending because maybe her budget is smaller. If she wants as many ppl to come as possible, she can choose a date and/or location that fit better with that.

one thing tho- what did she post on fb?

Post # 10
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t take on guilt that is not properly yours.  Your date and location was set. She and her FI picked a date close to yours and then also picked a location that requires family to travel.

 

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