Tricky Situation: I think my invitation got lost to my bosses kid's grad party

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What should I do?!
    Ask your boss to ensure you're invited : (12 votes)
    57 %
    Just show up : (3 votes)
    14 %
    Don't attend the party : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Obligatory Other : (5 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 2
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    What if you don’t go (fake an illness? out of town?) but send along a gift with your congratulations. It saves you from looking like you are fishing for an invite, but prevents any awkwardness.

    Post # 4
    2916 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Just go. It’s not like you would be party crashing. You would be going to the party with your coworker and with a gift! It will show good face

    Post # 5
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    Can you casually say something like, “I hope your son’s graduation party is amazing!” and maybe she will ask, “You aren’t coming?” And then you can say, “Oh, I didn’t receive an invitation.  But if I am invited, I’d love to attend!”  …Is that a scenario that might work?

    Post # 7
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Normally I wouldn’t assume you’re invited unless you get an invite but, 

    1) Your boss said you and your coworker were invited

    2) Your coworker received an invite

    3) Your boss had you prepare the invites

    4) Your boss is kind of spacey 

    5) Your country’s mail system is spotty

    I think it’s pretty safe to assume you’re invited, and it’d be ok to mention that your invite got lost.  

    Post # 8
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I totally agree with CanadaJane, since your boss actually said to you that she mailed you an invite, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to confirm with her that you are invited and let her know you didn’t get the it in the mail.

    Post # 10
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    Could you have your coworker ask your boss?  Like maybe, ” Hey boss, was mchitt329 invited?  I was wondering if she’d maybe want to carpool, but didn’t want to ask yet in case she wasn’t invited or had already declined or something.”

    Otherwise, if you really want to go, I would just show up with your coworker to relieve some awkwardness, but definitely don’t bring your husband.

    Post # 11
    12 posts

    How can something be invitation only and regrets only at the same time? Are they going to make you show your invitation at the door? (This is exactly why “regrets only” can be a bad idea!)

    Post # 13
    12 posts


    mchitt329:  No I just mean “regrets only” as opposed to “tell us only if you’re not coming!” So they don’t want to know if you ARE coming, only if you’re not. OP didn’t get an invitation, and the hosts won’t be looking for her to rsvp if she IS coming, so she’s kind of stuck. No one will say to her, “OP, we didn’t get your RSVP for the party. Are you coming?” It’s an awkward situation. Having people RSVP either way makes it much clearer for everyone.


    ETA: Sorry just realized you are the OP. In any case, my previous comment was just that I find the “regrets only” type of RSVP needlessly complicated. Sorry!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  LoveMyMister.
    Post # 15
    4959 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    mchitt329:  I love what stephanie091512 said. Totally get your coworker involved and have her ask! I’d have her say, “hey I didnt want to talk about the party if not many people from here were invited, but is mchitt? We would probably carpool together if so!” 

    I think in this case it is fine to ask because she said you were invited AND your coworker is. 

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