Post # 1
My husband and I pulled the goalie last April. I have a longer cycle that is also sometimes wonky but it averages 35 days. I’ve had one early miscarriage (5.5 weeks) in October so apparently I can get pregnant but I’m starting to hit the ceiling as far as frustration level goes as I’m now 2.5 months out from the miscarriage have had one cycle and am now “late” if I go by my average but HPTs keep coming back negative. (Doesn’t help that I got sick around or about the time I would have O’d if my cycle was behaving.)
I charted and used OPK’s for one cycle in August. At the end of that month I saw my gyno for my annual, told her I was trying to have a baby, and that was her advice #’s 1 and 2. Don’t chart and don’t opk. So I stopped and haven’t since.
I’ve decided I am going to give things a few weeks to see what happens..either get a BFP or get flo after which I will start using OPK’s and possibly chart. If that next cycle isn’t successful or if my period just stays MIA I am moving forward with seeking help.
But what is the next step?
Once you call your ob/gyn and say I’ve been trying for 10 months I want to seek help what happens next and after that and after that…you get my drift.
I know a lot about getting pregnant, now I want to know a lot about what to do when you can’t get pregnant and the hive seems like a good place to start.
I was reading @poetryreader80: ‘s similar post about this and one poster said it will be helpful to have a couple months of charts to show…seeing as my gyno specifically told me not to do it, I’ll be po’d if that’s her advice.
As has been echoed so often on the TTC boards recently I am sick of everyone else getting pregnant but me…my co-workers 15 year old daughter and 18 year old son are both giving her grandchildren, another 26 yo co-worker is pregnant with twins after a fling, and friends who just started trying last month did a not so good job concealing on NYE that she is already KU. It is beyond frustrating and I’m sick of lying in wait. I’m in my 30’s so I am not getting any younger and as I suspect this seeking help is not an overnight process I refuse to wait much longer.
Thanks for the vent and thanks in advance to anyone who can tell me what happens moving forward…
Post # 3
@TheNewlyMrsD: Your doctor seriously told you not to chart and not to use OPK’s? That seems strange to me. You should read the book the Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, in it the author mentions that the supposed “stress” of charting and OPK’s is definitely not enough to cause you to not get pregnant, and her point of view is why wouldn’t you use all the information possible to try and help you get pregnant vs. just having sex when the mood strikes and expecting the best? Something else I would recommend is the Sperm Meets Egg Plan, but it requires you to use OPKs (but not necessarily to chart). She also has some really encouraging information about miscarriages. http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm
Miscarriages are never a good thing and I have never experienced one so I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be, and I am so sorry for your loss 🙁 If anything can come out of it, though, it means that you can, in fact, get pregnant, and the chance of having another miscarriage after the first one is pretty low. Unfortunately, miscarriages are usually the result of nothing that you could have done to prevent them, unless it is a hormone problem. If you wanted to get checked out, I would say getting your hormone levels checked would be a good start, but if you are charting and your luteal phase is normal I think it usually means your hormones are pretty normal.
I would recommend you keep charting and using OPKs, just to make sure you are timing intercourse as well as you can. Hang in there, TTC can be the pits and of course when you want to be pregnant everyone else in the world is pregnant, has an adorable baby, etc. We will be here to support you along the way! The Bee is definitely a good place to come to vent, there are so many gals in so many stages of TTC, I love the support here 🙂
Post # 4
I could’ve written your post myslef! I had similar experience as you and echo many things you just said. I am also in my early 30’s and we pulled the goalie is May. I had one early MC at 5 weeks in July…. I am so sick of everyone around me getting pregnant. Including a friend who just told me she is KU with twins on her first try (she is 35). Not to mention everyone else on facebook and in my office… anyways, i am also very scared about the prospect of what happens next and what to do. I know at least that I can get pregnant (like u) but still that doesn’t help when its been so many months and still nothing to show for it… we decided to give it a couple more months and then probably get a referal to a fertility specialist for more testing. BTW, I do not chart or use OPK, but I know my cycle well and know with a pretty good accuracy when I ovulate (plus minus 1 day) due to tracking CM and O pain.
Post # 5
Assuming you were on hormonal BCP I’d say getting pregnant the first time 4 months after pulling the goalie is pretty good. It often takes a bit of time to regulate again.
Everybody’s experience is going to be different. We NTNT for 6 months with nothing. Then started prevented for a few months with condoms because we promised DH’s sister we’d attend her DW. So then when I went off again it took an additional 1.5 years to even get a BFP. I had long (112 was the record) day cycles sometimes.
For me I went to the Dr. because I started gaining weight suddenly when I went off BCP so I never waited the whole ten months to start working with an RE/gyno. I waited about three months during which I gained 32 pounds on ths same diet/exercise plan that had been working for me forever, and thought something was wrong, besides not getting pregnant. I was treated for PCOS that I’d been diagnosed with years ago, and had previously treated with BCP. Later, when I still wasn’t pregnant after a year I had a pelvic ultrasound, cycle day 3 bloodwork, and a glucose tolerance test (insulin resistance is common in PCOS). It’ll be the results of those that dictate how treatment goes from there. For me it showed PCOS symptoms, obviously. PCOS doesn’t always cause infertility issues so from there they had DH do a semen analysis, since there’s no point doing more invasive testing/treatments if I’m not the problem, and he was normal. I charted for a few months while all this was going on, and ended up getting pregnant naturally after almost 2 years, while waiting to find out the next step, and so far so good at 9 weeks.
It really depends on your specific circumstances. They may find from bloodwork that you seem to be annovulatory, in which case they might go with clomid first. Or if they find that you have low progesterone, which can sometimes be a cause of miscarriages, they might get you to do a cream or otherwise supplement there. It’s really hard to say exactly what they’ll suggest for you until at least some initial tests are done! I’d just try to avoid jumping too far ahead of yourself.
Post # 6
Some doctors seem to support charting, others require it, others hate it. In the end, I feel much much saner charting, so I’ve chosen to do it, even when they’ve suggested not to. They don’t have to deal with the pressure and second-guessing every day, so I think it’s my call. They seem to think it causes more stress – but for me it has definitely lessened stress, so I make my own call.I’d prefer to be waiting for my temps to rise to show O, than wondering if I’m pregnant for weeks on end because my period seems to be late.
My guess is that you doctor probably won’t want to see you until the 12 months is up, especially if you’ve shown that you can get pregnant. That’s not to say you shouldn’t go if you want something checked!! But if I were you I’d try charting and OPKs and see where they get you.
All the very best xx
Post # 7
I would suggest to do the basic testing (just to rule out any problems), This is the first thing a reproductive doc will do.
- Ovulation testing— to confirm if ovulation is occurring by looking through your temperature charts, using ovulation predictor kits and blood tests and ultrasound.
- Ovarian function tests–These tests are looking to see how the hormones are functioning and working during your ovulation cycle. Tests include the Day 3 FSH (measuring follicle stimulating hormone), Day 3 Estradiol (measuring estrogen), ultrasound (to confirm ovulation occurred) and blood tests to determine the levels of inhibin B.
- Luteal Phase testing– Testing will evaluate progesterone levels, more extensive hormone testing, and possibly a endometrial biopsy ( see below for more info on this procedure.)
- Hormone tests: Most all of this testing will revolve around thorough hormone tests. These hormone tests include the following:
- Luteinizing Hormone
- Follicle Stimulating Hormone
- Free T3
- Total Testosterone
- Free Testosterone
The following tests are also commonly used in the first evaluated cycle.
After that it is more extensive testing, HSG – to see if your tubes are blocked, hysteoscopy – to see if there are any abnormalities in the uterus.
Also get DH sperm tested as well just to rule out any issues on his end. GL sweetie!!
Post # 8
I just added this to the end of @poetryreader80:‘s post, and thought it would apply to you too:
oh, and i can’t believe I forgot to mention that if YOU are getting tests done, make sure hubby does too!! It is just as likely that if a couple can’t conceive, the husband is playing some part in this. Plus, his test is a lot less invasive than those the woman will have to do (even if it is a bit embarassing!)
Post # 9
@TheNewlyMrsD: You’ve already gotten some great advice. I’m just echoing others pretty much. Even though your doctor told you not to, I would still say that you should do a few more months of charting – full out, OPKs, everything. It can’t hurt to meet with your GP and get preliminary testing right now, though, but like some others have said I’m not sure that they will do testing until you’ve done the 12 months since you don’t seem to have any other obvious problems.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies. I told myself I was going to do OPK’s the next cycle and I guess I will have to seriously consider charting again. Like I said, I did it for one month only. I honestly lack the discipline required for it. I get up at the same time every morning for work but I will require some serious control to awake at that time on Saturday and Sunday to chart…even when I just get to roll over again. 🙁
In my doctor’s fairness the reason why she told me not to chart and use OPK’s was for the simple purpose of not driving myself crazy. And the one month I followed her advice was the one month I got my BFP. But since then it’s been a waiting game… . I just don’t want that to be her first bit of advice, to say
@cowgirlace: thank you. Knowing a good amount about pregnancy and getting pregnant I was pretty realistic about the possibility of miscarrying, while still hopeful I wouldn’t. Like others have said, I was happy to know I can get pregnant. I’d just like for it to happen again and stick around this time!
I think the first step if no period shows in the coming days is that I’ll call and request some basic tests, like hormones, etc and hopefully take things from there.
Post # 11
I am having a very similar experience, went off BC in June, didn’t get my period until August, miscarriage at 5 weeks in October, didn’t get my period again until December, plus I’m diagnosed with PCOS and have an extremely variable cycle – 60-90 days. My gyn recommended I see an RE – fertility doc, and they’ve been monitoring me with sonograms and blood tests to check my estrogen, prolactin, etc. Just found out I’m ovulating now so hubs and I got busy all this week, ha! I’m trying not to freak out since I’ve been a touch negative ever since the miscarriage which I know is definitely not going to help things. I tried to chart but had a really hard time keeping up with it. For me, I think paying attention to my CM may end up being the better course to determine ovulation. I’m reading a book right now that was recommended by several friends as well as my Gyn: Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I’d definitely recommend it myself! Good luck to both of us!