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Hang in there RB. Sounds like he's going through a really hard time right now and that you'll get a much better sense of where things stands when you get there and can interact with him face to face.
It sounds like you are thinking clearly, and I understand why you need a break. We can't wait to see you soon and hope that it's a reunion fully of good news!
Good luck to both of you!!
Is it possible to have that small beach wedding for now... and then do a vow renewal when you guys are on more solid ground financially? That may be a way to keep the embers of your dream wedding a'glowin'!
((HUGS)) :( I understand why you need a break (btw I'm in tears because I feel like I know you, I mean it's you me KM Sull and DD against the world right?) You are a wonderful wonderful person. He seems like such a great guy, he wants to take care of you and make sure that he's the provider he has always been for you while y'all have been together. You should definitely tell him that life is not all roses and peonies. There are peaks and valleys and in betweens. Being married sounds like it's important to the two of you, perhaps you can have a wedding later on? The recession has definitely hit everyone really hard right now trust me when I say it's not just him. Oh my goodness I will miss you so much. You have my email address, if you ever need to chat vent cry or eat ice cream and cereal let me know and we can have a date night!!!
Oh girl, I wish the best to you. I was so there last month... but I was in your FI's shoes.
I hope everything gets better, that you get it all straightened out and that you remain together and happy. Good luck and I can't wait for the day that you come back, RB, and I really hope you do. Hugs, hugs, hugs and love!
So sorry you and your FI are having to go through this. I am confident that things will work out for both of you. I think that mrbee's suggestion of a beach wedding now and a vow renewal later for your family would be great.
I look forward to you coming back after you get things worked out.
I hope everything goes okay, and gets better. I can't empathize, but I do sympathize. I third Mr. Bee's suggestion. I really do hope that everything gets straightened out, and that y'all are happy
I'm so sorry you are in a rough spot right now. I really hope that things get better and work out for the best. Good luck!
I'm sorry to see you go, but good luck!! I really hope things work out for you two and that your FI is able to move forward with as few problems as possible. I will keep you and your FI in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. Once you and your FI reconnect in February, I'm sure things won't feel so heavy. I'm an LDR girl and just getting to be in the same room as my FI always makes things better.
People all over are going through rought economic times. It's no reflection on your FI that he is suffering a pay cut. I'm sure you know this, you just have to get him to accept it. Given a little time, things will start to look brighter. Best of luck.
I'm so sorry that this happened. :( I hope you're able to work it all out. It's hard being in an LDR and planning-- I can attest to that and I'm only away from Mr. S 5 days out of the week! Being apart adds so much extra stress on top of stress.
Just breathe, try to find yourselves (as dumb/cliche as that sounds!), and hopefully COME BACK SOON.
You will be missed, ma'am.
I'm so sorry you are going through this! I think it is a really good idea to go and be with him. Everything that seems so confusing now will begin to be sorted out once you are together and can spend quality time together in person. Hugs, and I await your return to WB!
I second Crebre's words ;)
and I'll miss you - I had already noticed your posting had decreased, and have been thinking of you, hoping everything was okay. I'm so sorry to hear that it's not. :(
I hope and pray that your relationship and your FI's emotional health are repaired quickly and easily, and that you're both able to resume moving forward, together, soon. I also hope that this difficult time turns out to be one of growth, getting through the hard stuff together, and makes you an even stronger couple. And then I hope to see you back here, happy and witty and take-no-prisoners as ever!
MrBee had a great suggestion; the two of you could always get married in a small ceremony now, and go all out for a one year vow renewal when you've had more time to save, the money from your condo, etc.
ETA: Did you see the article Mrs Beagle posted yesterday? It might be a good read for you. http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/wedding-planning-in-face-of-serious.html
Awwww ((hugs)) I'm so very sorry for the two of you right now. I"m glad you're going to be with him all next month. In a battle of any kind, two is always better than one and who better to be your backup then the love of your life.
I wish the two of you the absolute best and will be patiently awaiting your happy return to WB. <3
I am so sorry for you and your FI. I enjoyed getting some travel themed ideas from your blog. I hope that your month together next month will really help the situation. I wish you the best!
I am really sorry to hear you guys are going through such a tough time. I hope you guys are able to take time to reconnect and grow stronger... I can't even imagine how difficult planning a wedding while being in a LDR is.
You have been one of my fav posters in the Hive, and I hope that you're able to come back once things are worked out. We'll miss you!
Good luck!! Keep the lines of communication open with FI, maybe let him read this post if you can't find the words. Possibly do the beach wedding now, just the 2 of you and then think later about the big wedding. Go take care of your man, and then once things settle down let us know how things are. We are here for you!!
I'm sorry to hear that, you will certainly be missed around here but most importantly, good luck in fixing your relationship. Hopefully a little face to face time will make a big difference.
(((hugs)))
I haven't been here very long at all, but you are one of the posters I already recognize, you know? I am sorry you are going through such a difficult situation, and I wish you both the best as you work through it. Looking forward to your return.
Oh wow, hon, I'm so sorry to hear all this. I think you've got the right idea on spending time and working everything out with your FI. Hopefully after some TLC from you and a bit of time to rebuild his self-esteen he'll be back in the game (so to speak). Hope to see you back here soon with so much good news. We'll be thinking about you.
(((Hive Hugs!)))
((HUGS!)) I agree with abunch of the posters. Surely your family would understand if financially you couldn't afford the "wedding' just now and will do something when you're more on solid ground... and then have your marriage take place on the beach, or something else the 2 of you can agree on, maybe with your immediate family there to witness. That's what we had to do- CANCEL our reception, and while some "friends" were peeved about canceling their flights (which they didn't have to do... um, we're still getting married....) MOST guests- in fact, all guests that are truly important to me- were actually glad we decided to do this because financially we're not so great either.
Please pop back in and keep us updated, we all care so much about you!!!!!!!!
As long as you focus on what is most important, you both will end up on top. Good luck to you!
Thanks for sharing. I hope things improve for you soon and I know that a break from WB and wedding planning will do you good. Best of luck and we all hope to see you around here again sometime. ::hugs::
So sorry to hear his trouble. Good luck in this difficult time... and know that all the struggles you battle will only make your relationship stronger in the end.
Good luck to the both of you! Everything will turn out ok, love is more powerful than anything else in the whole world! Hang in there girl, xoxoxo
I think you're making the right choice leaving us (although clearly we are all sad and you will be missed) for your FI. I hope everything gets back on track. You make us all smile. :o)
I wish you both all the best through this hard time!
We will miss you RB xoxoxo
Come back and let us all know what happened/ how things are going when you are ready!
@DD: You complete me! Thank you so much for that link & your support.
Wedding planning SHOULD be the happiest time of a gals life, or so we think... I'm trying to learn that sometimes life just isn't fair & that you have to roll with the punches. He won't let me pay for the wedding, even though I see it as "our" money. He has his pride, thats why he didn't tell me, but I feel like we're so far past that. It's time to tackle this challenge head on & move forward.
I have some stuff to tie up before I leave for a month, so I can't get there before February 1st. It's hard not being able to be there for him when he needs me! It goes with an LDR.
Thank you everyone for your support & kind words! You made me cry! Its just been such a huge relief to let this out. I still haven't told a soul in the real world.
PS. The internet is boring w/o WB! I've googled everything I could ever think of online... I realized I need a hobby. Maybe I'll start on a 10000000 piece puzzle! lol
*Hugs* It made me so sad to read your post. You have really been a wonderful part of our community, and I hate to think that you're going through such a hard time. I really hope that things look up for you two soon. Please know that we're all thinking of you, and we'd love it if you'd stop in from time to time to update us. We'll miss you a lot!
Oh no, I didn't see this post until now, and I'm so sorry that you guys are going through this. We'll miss you, and wish you and your FI the best! Hopefully we'll see you back in the future.
Reading your post made me teary-eyed! I'm sorry that your wedding planning & all the enjoyment that goes with it has come to a standstill and that you have to leave WB, but I definately understand and would do the same thing! I wish the best for you and your SO and hope that once you get to where he is, and give him the support he needs, he will come around and start feeling better again. The male ego is a fragile thing. I don't understand it sometimes, but when it comes to certain things, it can easily be shattered. It sounds like you are a strong person & are on your way out there to be his shoulder and voice of reason during this difficult time with his job.
Good luck and take care.
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My FI and I are going through a really, really rough time right now. He's had some major budget cuts at work & he's taking a huge pay cut. There are only 4 guys with his job & 2 have been cut already, so a cut isn't that bad considering he gets to keep his job. A handful of things have gone wrong for him financially in 2009 & he's not coping very well. He also didn't tell me he was having any problems until last month. Since telling me, he's become a shell of a man. He's embarrassed & completely depressed. I'm flying out to see him for the entire month of February to do some damage control & get him some help.
The biggest shocker is that he says that he doesn't want to file my immigration paperwork "just yet" due to the costs associated with it & he wants me to cancel the wedding. My paperwork is in our lawyers hands... waiting for a payment & then it will be sent. I've offered to pay for all of it & he won't accept it. He keeps saying "What kind of a man am I if I can't afford to pay for my wife to move here", etc. It's so frustrating!! He wants to get married on a beach, just the 2 of us. He's wanted that from the get-go, but I knew my family would never accept it.
Now that our marriage & future is hanging in the balance-- I've lost the desire to plan our wedding. I am willing to forget everything I've planned & meet him on the beach tomorrow.
I feel so helpless & really, really scared. I feel like I'm losing him & I'm 3000 miles away already. I've sold my business, I'm getting ready to sell my condo... I've made all these steps to be with him & for what? For total & utter confusion. My heart is so torn. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm frustrated & a little heartbroken.
We've lost a huge part of "us" with all this wedding talk and planning over the last year. LDRs are hard as is, but try planning a wedding apart. It's so stressful doing it on your own & I would just overwhelm him with wedding questions when we would talk. Online, on the phone or by smoke signals-- nothing but wedding talk 24/7. I never even gave him a chance to talk & explain whats been going on with HIM.
So with that... I need to say so long to the hive for a little bit. I need to invest all my energy into helping my FI & fixing our relationship. Reading about weddings, etc is really just getting me down. I've already cut back my posting since the news first broke, but now I need to cut all ties with WB. I want to be happy & excited for everyone, but its just too hard right now.
I really want to say that you are all incredible women & that you have been a wonderful addition to my wedding planning experience! I've loved every minute on here with all of you :) I'll hopefully be back once things become more clear, but until then: I wish you all the very best in your planning!
I'll miss you all like crazy... haha what did I ever do online before WB!?