(Closed) Trouble making new close friends.

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I organized my own networking group here in NYC through meetup.com

 

google it in yourarea for womens social

 

I made a ton of friends we go out, invite each other to parties and have a ton of fun so much that 18 are invited to my wedding

Post # 5
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I just moved due to the Navy and had a heck of a time finding new people!  My friends I have now are all from the church we attend… I absolutely love them to pieces! πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I haven’t made any new friends since graduating. Unless you count Bee Friends! I have emailed with some and added some as facebook friends since I’ve been here, but it’s not like we can go out for cocktails!

Post # 7
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

When we moved to a new town a year ago, we literally knew no one.  My husband started getting invited out with some of his work friends, and we made some friends that way.  I also started a book club (advertised on Craigslist) and we made a few new friends that way, too.

Is there any activity or hobby you really enjoy?  I am not super outgoing, so sometimes I have to kinda “force” myself into meeting new people.  Craigslist has been a great resource for finding new groups, activities, and friends.  I started volunteering at the library, too, and that’s helped a little.  I was also thinking about taking some cooking classes at the local community college.

I think the easiest way to make close friends is to find people that have the same interests as me.  Then, there’s common discussion topics for the awkwardness of just meeting; plus if you end up not really liking the person, you can end the friendship with the end of the acitivity (like if it’s a seasonal sports team, for example).  There’s also something to be said for just natural old chemistry.  I always have a fear of “coming on too strong” but everyone I’ve really liked from the beginning has ended up being a close friend.  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

yes in New York City it is so difficult to make good girlfriends if all your co-workers are married and do not hang out

 

so I googled stuff to do in New York I found a networking group to meet new people, didn’t like it and made my own up–single girls between 25 to 30s who want to go out,; I have about 60 members its to help fill that void when you graduate and don’t have that safety net of classmates to hang out with or don’t have same age co-workers to have funtimes with most of us are single professional women working in NYC, there are  alot of girls groups out there but mine is the best I have so much fun with the girlfriends I made…its not a conventional way of making friends but you have to start somewhere, some people I am solid friends with others  I just met once..but you meet one person that person has friends and your circle just grows and grows; your friends’ friends become your friends

these networking groups are  a big thing in new york because its so hard to make friends here it’s just a matter of finding your niche

I finally made a lot of friends in my last year here in NYC, too bad now I have to say goodbye to them; we all hang out go to each  others’ birthday parties meet each others’ boyfriends but now the next stage in life…a new generation of women looking for their niche has arrived I feel like it’s time to pass the torch, me and my friends are already established in our cliques and starting to settle down

Post # 9
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m in the same situation. I’m in a new city and have met a few times with old college friends in the area, joined an alumnae group, done volunteer projects, joined discussion groups, tried a second job in retail … all of these are ways I’ve made friends in the past and it’s just not going so well right now. I think it’s a slow process, and for me (bad me!) it’s harder to put myself out there when I’m happy at home with my man. This is a real goal for me now to turn some of these acquaintances into friendships and I’m taking some advice from others who have responded too.

Post # 10
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have a hard time making friends. But thats my fault I dont go out much. And my old friends are married and with kids. So they dont go out much either. And all my co-workers are older than me… Im the youngest one!!

I know I need to start making new friends before I become a loner!!

Post # 11
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You aren’t alone in this problem as you can already see from PP.  I’m in the same boat and I’ve been in this city for 6 years now.  I learned a hard lesson of making friends at work so I’ve avoided maintaining close friendships at work and only occasionally attend happy hours with coworkers.  I haven’t forced myself to go out and meet people in my spare time either and DH is a homebody like me.  Our previous friends are all in different places in their lives right now and we’ve lost the commonality we used to have.  My hair dresser invited me to join a small group hosted through her church.  I’ve never done that before and it isn’t entirely my thing but its helped me to meet other women in my general age group, which I’ve really appreciated.  Also DH and I are wanting to do a few cooking classes and I’ve considered joining a book club too.  It’s mostly a matter of putting yourself out there and keep opening your heart even though it’s really hard.  Eventually you’ll find a good friend if you keep trying.  At least that’s what I tell myself.

Post # 12
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m in a similar situation. I’ve moved back home having been away from uni. My best friend is still home but she’s busy as she’s organising a wedding and trying to do a PhD. My university friends are scattered across the country and its difficult to find time to meet up.

I go dancing to 2 different dance schools a couple of nights a week and although I’m friendly with people there, I’m not particularly close (we have dance routines to learn!). Same goes for work colleagues, I get on with a couple of them really well (one of them I go dancing with). I miss having close friends too. I’m hoping it’s just a blip and things will work out in the end.

Post # 13
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

to bad we are all in different states. It would of been cool if we all met and hang out LOL

Post # 14
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am glad you touched on this topic! It can be really hard to make new friends when you move to a new city.

I went to university in Nova Scotia and loved living there – I had a great network of friends and was always having fun. But when I completed university my fiance was offered a fantastic full-time job in British Columbia. Since we both have always wanted to move to the West Coast, it was a dream come true. But I wasn’t prepared for the lonliness I felt when I moved. It took me close to a year to make a steady circle of friends, and I have only met one friend (now my maid of honour) who I would consider close. The tricky thing I have found is most people I have met in Vancouver have lived here all their lives, and had established friends circles. Most of my friends here I met through my fiances work – and coincidentally they all moved her from other parts of Canada πŸ™‚ I even went back to school to pursue nursing, and thought for sure I would make a close friend or two – but it just never really happened.

I also tried meet-up groups that had similar interests to my own, but most of the crowd was quite a bit older than me. I like that another poster set up a group for 25-30 year olds – that would have been exactly what I would have wanted.

You are not alone πŸ™‚ Good luck meeting new friends.

Post # 16
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I’ve made most of my good friends through my daughter’s friends. Weird, but people told me it would happen and it did! We travel together, with and without the kiddos, have girl’s nights and do couples things too. 

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