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trouble with the top table

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    Soon2bMrsMcC    April 10th 2010   Derry, Northern Ireland

    ok can i get some advice on this from you guys? ok so my top table is getting ridiculously big, and lopsided! I'm not doing a traditional his dad beside my mum kind of thing, i want everyone to be sitting with people they know and love and not trying to make idle conversations with people. so with that kept in mind, please factor in the fact that my dad died 9 years ago and my mum has no significant other. on the other hand his parents are divorced and both have partners. at the min my table goes, left to right, his dad's girlfriend, his dad, his brother, his mum's boyfriend, his mum, himself, me, my mum, my sis and finally, my bridesmaid. and my bridesmaid is just to make it a bit more evened out! now the FMIL has made it clear that her partner is to be included at the top table, and therefore i am adamant that we do not leave out his dad's girlfriend. i refuse to leave her out, she has been just as supportive as anyone else. i'm pretty sure you're gonna tell me to grow a spine and tell FMIL that her partner won't be up there and that'll mean i can take out his dad's partner and things will look altogether better! but i'm hoping there can be another solution?

     
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    Sugar bee
    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    I'm doing a sweetheart table (just me and FI alone at a smaller table).

    A large part of why we chose that was to avoid your dilemma.

    If you are open to a sweetheart table, you could give each parent their own table with their own friends/family.

    If you really want a head table, what about just moving his dad onto 'your side'?  It's not like his dad can talk to him at the end of the table on 'his side' anyway.   

     

     
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    Worker bee
    missx    September 27, 2008   St Paul, MN

    I guess I think it depends on how close you both are to the bf/gf, and whether or not you want to include them at a table of honor.  What does your fiance think about it?  How many seats are at the table (max)?  Are there other people you feel like you are leaving out by including the bf/gf?

    Our head table consists of us and our bm/gm.  We are sitting at a round table like everyone else.  (I'm not a fan of the long head table. I want to be able to see/talk to more than just the person to my immediate right or left.)  With that said we will have two other tables of honor where our parents & grandmothers will sit, as well as a few people whom they are close to.

     
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    Worker bee
    lily1223      

    We're doing a head table with our bridal party and their dates.  [My MOH has been to a ton of weddings where she's the date of a groomsman, and she always ends up sitting alone with strangers- I'm trying to avoid that.]

    Our families will be at round tables that are close to us; that way they can have their friends with them.  It also avoids the drama of his parents hating each other, etc.

     
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    Worker bee
    Soon2bMrsMcC    April 10th 2010   Derry, Northern Ireland

    thanks guys, all good points. I'm thinking a sweetheart table, with the two other tables of honour might be the way to go. thanks again.

     
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    Worker bee
    nejgne    9/9/07   PA

    we decided to have a sweetheart table and no head tables and it worked out great! 

    we told each set of parents that they would have their own table to host, and they pretty much chose who they wanted at the table.  one of my best friends' parents were invited, and even though they weren't my parents' closest friends/family, we had them sit there because my mom and another close friend speak mandarin (they speak english too but then they were even more comfortable this way and at least knew my parents). 

    we had used years as our table numbers and mixed them all up, including table location, so that there was no definitive head table - i thought my mom would have a fit but she was actually fine with all of it!  we just had our parents' tables closest to us.

     
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    Helper bee
    MrsDavis    6-21-2008   Ohio

    I didn't care how it looked (but I haven't seen my pics yet so maybe I should have). I just let people sit up there with us if they wanted to and they sat in no particulair order as long as the groom and I were in the center. One BM and Usher were married so they sat next to eachother on the end. I was so picky about the ceremony I decided to let the cards fall where they may at the recpetion.

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