Troubled young step son, pleaseeee help me!

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
2276 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Djacks88:  yikes. So sorry. Do you think something else is going on with him?


Post # 4
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Djacks88:  Poor kid, I’d talk to his mom about seeing a child psychologist. 

Post # 5
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That is really odd for a ten year old, and seems stunted developmentally.  What do his teachers say?  Has he been in counciling?  If not, can your FI ask for it?

Post # 6
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Djacks88:  Do you think the ex would agree to family counselling with all of you participating? Some people need a professional to tell them that what they are doing to their child is harmful.

Post # 7
397 posts
Helper bee

Yikes…poor little guy. Im almost worried that if it doesn’t straighten out, he’d be picking up phobias through-out life.

He may need to be brought to a child psychologist. My 9 yr old cousin is having strange behavioural issues and her therapy is really helping.


Post # 10
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Agree with @nambi_pambi: & @Misswhowedding:  & @julies1949:  – This problem is bigger than BOTH of you… this child needs PROFESSIONAL help.

And ideally as julies1949: said it should be something that BOTH his Parents participate in (You as a Step-Mom can attend IF it is ok with BOTH of them) BUT this is a joint parenting issue.

Mom needs to come to grips that this is NOT NORMAL behaviours and that she is enabling him… and doing the boy (soon to be a pubescent teen) NO FAVOURS… in time he will get worse and be even more disfunctional / anxiety driven


Post # 11
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Djacks88:  Kudos to you for good parenting efforts.  I don’t know where you are from, but in most states it’s illegal for a child over age 6 to sleep in same room (not to mention bed) of oposite sex – which includes parents.  The childs mother needs professional help in order to instill the rules you are setting….that is if she’s not the one feeding him towards that behavior.

Post # 13
3032 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

As a therapist (not with children though) this is a big red flag for other issues and as PP have said he needs professional help.  Would she be open to a school counselor rather than someone outside the circle?

Post # 14
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That’s a tough situation to be in. If mom’s not open to counseliing, I would suggest you and FI begin it with him and continue to prod mom to join you. If she refuses, give her suggestions given from the therapist. This child sounds like he needs to be seen by a professional, the sooner the better. This is not typical behavior of a child his age. Good luck to you and please keep us posted. 

Post # 16
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ApollosAgapi:  Wow.  I had no idea it is illegal for children of the opposite sex to sleep in the same bed as parents (in most states)!!  My son sleeps in his own room, but on the rare occasion DH is gone for night (hunting/boys weekend at the cabin, etc…) DS and I usually have a slumberparty.  He’s 5- but still!!  I can’t imagine.

And if DS has a fever- he sleeps with me and DH sleeps on the sofa- especially if it’s a high fever- because then I can easily check on him all night.

I know that my younger brother used to sleep in my parents bed when my dad would go out of town- on the occasion- especially if there was a thunderstorm or something.  They have a big, old house- when he was like 11.  

I think it’s kind of a bummer that it’s illegal- does that mean a sleepover with my cousins (male and female) was illegal when I was a child?  We’d all pile into one room- usually the livingroom for a big sleepover.  

And to be honest- three in bed is a crowd- because it’s a queen.  But if DH is away, I’m more than happy to lt DS sleep with me– because I know one day it’s going to be very uncool to sleep in your parents room- and he’s my son!! Of course we love cuddles!!

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