Troubles with future sisters in laws

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@KittyKat87:  Perhaps you can have them in other roles in the wedding. Readers or something. Realistically, they will probably be angry. If you don’t want them in your party you may just have to deal with the backlash and reiterate “i’m sorry, we want to keep it small and these are who I chose”.

Post # 4
7207 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Stand your ground, you have your FH support, you dont owe anyone else an explaination.

Post # 5
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was in my SIL’s wedding and my other sister was not. You can have one and not the other. Especially if you are only close with one and you were in her wedding. 

Post # 6
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I understand what you mean about the sisters often being a package deal – while many women are mature and understand the limitations of a wedding party, others do not. This is one of the reasons I avoided a wedding party altogether – but you’re beyond that point now.

LIke the others said, find roles for the sisters (maybe they could be greeters/ushers, readers, give toasts, etc.) or I’d take the next opportunity you see them to explain that those you chose have been very long-term friends or lifelong friends. Then, reiterate how much you care about the sisters, show an interest in their lives, etc. I think many people falsely conclude that if they are left out of the wedding party, it’s out of spite. So doubling on your effort to appear cordial and kind to them may erase that perception.

You can always go with the timeless, “We just want our families to enjoy it and catch every second of our ceremony!”

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