- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
A little back story.. I have had trust issues since I started dating my Fiance because he was seeing another girl in the beginning of our relationship. He told me things were ending with her but in the beginning they were still on and off with eachother. He told me whenever we were “on” he wasn’t “on” with her. At the time I was 19, young.. stupid. I fell for him, HARD. That is where my trust issues come from, along with other problems like me meeting his ex’s and being jealous because they were before me, seeing girls he’s been with visiting him at work, after we started dating he still had pics up of him and his ex on FB.. etc.
So anyways, my Fiance owns a restaurant/bar, and about 2 years ago I was suspicious of this girl who started working there. She is about 7 years younger than my Fiance and she comes off as a very flirtatious person and it bothered me. I was starting to wonder if she had a thing for my Fiance, since she always seemed to be flirting with him, or atleast I thought so.
Being suspicious, one day I figured out my FI’s password on FB and logged in to snoop around (at the time we were BF/GF) and I found a message HE sent to HER saying, “cute pics” she responded with “hey thanks ” and he replied, “here’s my number, hit me up sometime if you want”
I confronted him that day and he played it off as though I was in the wrong for snooping and logging into his account. I asked him why he ever messaged her in the first place because she is going to think an older man is flirting with her. He said, “I gave her my number if she ever needed to call me since I’m her manager.” I told him I didn’t believe him and I had him send another message to her stating that his intentions were just to give her his number since he was her manager and he meant nothing else by it. She replied saying she understood.
About a month later, this girl quit her job at the restaurant. Interesting..
So.. fast-forward to about 7 months ago when Fiance and I got engaged. The weekend we were away he got a text from someone whose number wasn’t in his phone and it said “can I come up tonight or should I take a rain check?” I asked him who it was and he started playing dumb, so I pressed further. He told me it was this same girl, but she was asking if she could come into the bar and visit her friend who was bartending (she isn’t 21). I asked him why A. this b*tch was texting him after he knew I didn’t like her, B. what she meant by coming into the bar when she’s underage. He told me she was in the one night at the restaurant and asked him if she could come in sometime to hang out with her friend at the bar. He told her to text him sometime and he would tell her if the bar was empty enough for her to come in. We argued the rest of the day since he knew I didn’t trust this girl, I didn’t know what either of their real intentions were, if he was going to hang out with both of them..
When he decided to propose we were fighting. It was awful. What is normally such a perfect moment in most women’s lives was terrible for me. I have always thought about this moment since getting engaged and how some stupid girl could ruin it for me. We have both told the “story” of how he proposed so many times that no one knows the real way it all went down.
Since getting engaged I’ve been very angry with Fiance for proposing during such a bad time for us, I’ve been upset and little things bother me. I’ve hit a major dry spell with him because I never want to be intimate. I’ve also been focusing on all of his flaws and feeling like I don’t even want to plan this wedding.
Fiance recently deleted his FB account because I was always finding something to complain about. I think maybe he deleted it to keep me from finding other messages. As far as I know, him and that girl haven’t talked since the weekend we got engaged. He’s never wanted me to see his passwords for FB, his email, etc., he doesn’t let me look through his phone.. What is this about?? I see so many of our friends sharing their phones and email accounts like they have nothing to hide. I feel like he’s hiding something.
After all of this hot mess of a post, where would you bees go with this situation? Should I just get over it already? I guess things bother me even when they’re from 2 years ago because I feel like I’ve been lied to alot by him.