Post # 1
Coming up on our one-year anniversary, DH and I were reflecting on our wedding a few nights ago. He wanted a huge party; I wanted to either elope or have a very small wedding (less than 30 people). We ended up having about 300 guests, but we compromised by offering them a standing-room-only dessert hour before sending them home. We followed that with 25 family members dining at a private reception where we had our first dance and cake cutting. It was wonderful!
Looking back…I had SO MUCH UNECCESARY STRESS! The sole reason of this post is to encourage you wedding-planning bees out there to NOT follow in those footsteps of stress. I had wedding nightmares, meltdowns, the whole nine yards. And to an extent, that is normal. Our whole culture believes that all brides are “entitled” to that stress and that behavior. But does it HAVE to be normal? NO!!!
Trust me – no one will care if cards are placed in a wicker basket or an elaborate homemade box complete with your names and wedding date. No one will care if the pews in the church are decorated. No one will care if you ride away in a 1940s Mercedes or a 2009 Corolla (like we did…hah).
Sure, there will ALWAYS be naysayers and people who try to shove in their opinions. And yes, that can HURT if we let it. But remember, usually those with the fantastically huge opinions or desire to argue are just letting their OWN insecurities resurface.
Let this big day – and the process leading up to it – be less stressful than the “norm.” We deserve better than this! Let it be fun, filled with happy tears, and then when it’s over, sigh a sigh of relief and smile at your new spouse – fully ready for the long adventure about to begin.
Cheers bees! <3
MARRIED BEES – is this good advice? Do you find yourself laughing now at things you thought were SO IMPORTANT then?
PLANNING BEES – Do you think it’s possible NOT to stress about wedding details (even big picture things as well!)?
Post # 2
I am planning, and I do think it is possible to have a stress free planning. Personally, my stress is comming mostly from outside. I couldn’t care less about the details. But mom’s and people having an opinion on everything don’t help at all.
Post # 3
I think I have done a really good job of telling people to shove it when they want to make wedding planning more stressful for us than it needs to be. I am a perfectionist by nature so I know that to some extent I am going to be wrapped up in details but I’m allowing myself certain spots to do that and the rest of it, I’m letting go. I don’t care if someone isn’t happy with the date/day we’ve choosen. If you can’t come because it’s a 4 hour drive? Sorry, we will miss you. Our wedding is not revolving around the guests. It’s for us. We’d love for you to be there to celebrate with us but if you can’t, that’s fine too. I don’t care if our choices don’t follow what “wedding ettiquite” says…do. not. care.
Post # 4
AnaA: I’m with you on that one. Unfortunately my fiance and I both recently lost our moms so the stress would be welcome from them BUT my sister is driving me crazy. She calls me every other day and asks about certain details. One of my bridesmaids used to work in a dress store and you should have heard the stress in her voice when I said I hadn’t gotten my gown yet. I’m not stressed…leave me alone people!
Post # 5
AnaA: YES. That was exactly my mom. I am the oldest of 5 girls, and my 4 young sisters were my bridesmaids so all THEIR opinions got in the way too. Lol. I have to admit, I hurt a few feelings along the way because I’m very blunt and decisive, but overall we had a very good experience because of that.
MouthOfTheSouth: Exactly. Preach! It’s a wedding for you and those you care about dearly. Everyone else…oh well. I know people who work in the wedding industries and they were SO ANNOYING when I told them dress/cake/photography plans. They literally gasped and scoffed at me. Come on people. This is MY wedding. butt out. 😉
Post # 6
TogetherThroughLife: I think you did a great job with your advice. I worried too much about people’s opinions and all the small stuff until a few months before the wedding where I just went eff it, and let things fall into place. Glad I did because it was way less stressful and wonderful. Now, almost a year and a half later and a little one on the way, my wedding is a beautiful memory because of who I shared it with, not because of the monogramed napkin rings (I never had those lol).
Post # 7
megz06: Awesome! Congrats on your pregancy… 🙂 I came to that point of “letting go” as well, and I’m so glad I did. I just let other people handle stuff, because they WANTED to. Because they LOVED me. Who am I to say no to that!?
Post # 9
TogetherThroughLife: I”m planning at the moment, and I’ve been told on numerous occasions I’m one of the most laid back brides vendors have ever dealt with. That’s not to say I haven’t had my moments where I’ve been obsessed with a random detail that doesn’t matter. I am not a relaxed person by nature, so I know that planning a wedding has huge potential to be a massively stressful event for me, so I’m trying really hard to apply the ‘everything will work out’ mantra that I use in my work life.
So far so good!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Yes, this is great advice!
Post # 10
TogetherThroughLife: You and I are very alike. I didnt want the big wedding and was pissed off i was pushed into it by everyone. I’m totally picky and i didnt want or need help and felt irritated when people pushed their opinion on my wedding. Looking back, it didnt really matter. None of it really matters. We had a nice day, and i have some nice pictures, but i could have been married in a shed during a downpour and would have been just as happy.
Honestly, the second the wedding stress went away, the happier we became. We are happier now, 7 months out from the wedding then we were during the entire planning process. I’m so happy we got married, but i will never plan another wedding. You could not pay me.
Post # 11
MsGinkgo: Love it! Yes…everything always works out. The blessing of getting married is SO exciting on its own! You don’t need all the wedding planning stress because all the “wedding THINGS” aren’t nearly as exciting as the marriage ahead! 🙂
Swizzle: I feel ya. I had a wonderful wedding…but it was nowhere NEAR “picture perfect.” The invitations had the wrong zip code printed on them. Our entire video was out of focus. We had like a 45 minute reception. And…who cares? We got married. Ha! I said to my husband on the way to our honeymoon, “I’m SO glad we only had to do that once!!”