- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
My husband and I have had several arguments before where he feels I am being too much of a control freak; that I have to have an opinion on everything and that I can’t just leave it up to him to take care of. So in response to that, I’ve been trying to be more laid back and let him take the lead.
However, I always feel that at the back of my mind, I can’t 100% trust him to take care of things; I always feel like I still have to keep these items on my radar in the event that he forgets to do them, or he makes questionable decision.
We’ve recently made the decision to relocate to another country because he landed a really good job opportunity. He has moved to a temporary (fully furnished) apartment for 3 weeks now, but I won’t be moving for another couple of months. We recently found a place to lease and the matter of signing the lease agreement came up.
We were provided with a 10-page lease agreement to review and sign – both signatures are required because both our names are on the lease agreement. I barely had a day to read it (I half-reviewed the file while I was at work), and he was extremely busy with work, so he asked me to review it. At the same time, he also forwarded a copy to a consultant that his company had assigned to help us with finding a place. She reviewed the lease in a matter of 20 minutes, and said this was a standard lease agreement and that nothing stood out to her. I, on the other hand, had some questions about the clauses.
Long story short, at the end of that same day, he had asked me to sign the lease, to which I responded that I was not yet ready to because I still had concerns. This (for unknown reasons) infuriated him, and he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t ready to sign it; that it was a simple lease agreement. Keep in mind, he hasn’t even read the agreement himself. He is just going by what the consultant told him. Now, if I had an entire week to review the lease agreement and was still not ready to sign, then I can understand why he would be angry. But I had less than a day, and I was asking for a one-day extension.
This (along with a few other incidents in the past) has given me reasons to lose confidence in his abilities to make sound decisions. I find it highly irresponsible to be ready to commit yourself to a binding contract without first reading and understanding the terms.
How can I become less of a control freak if I’m given reasons to doubt his ability to make sound decisions?