Trying not to be a bridezilla

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

All that you can really do is ask, but when it comes to your FI, you need to make it very clear to him that it is his wedding, too, and therefore the planning is not solely your responsibility.

Post # 4
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Honestly the only person that has to help you is your FI.  It is nobody else’s job to do things for the wedding. Maybe asking for help with a small task whike making it clear you aren’t expecting the help,you could get a bridesmaid to help , but unless they offer I wouldn’t ask for much help. 

 

 

 

As far as your fi, make a list if what needs to be done and ask what jobs he wants to start with. That way he can choose what he is most interested in.

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@jbbs1222:  what exactly are you wanting your BM’s to help with? I only ask this because I didn’t ask anything of my BM’s because there wasn’t a whole lot they could actually do. I didn’t have any DIY aNd my sister and mom helped me with the small things. If you’re that overwhelmed, talk to your FI. It’s no one else’s responsibility to plan your wedding but you and your future hubby.

Post # 6
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Unfortunately the only person responsible for helping is your fiancé. Have you considered hiring a wedding planner?  What exactly are you wanting help with?  I would suggest not going bridezilla on them, because as hard as it is, their only job is to show up. 

If you give specifics we may be able to suggests ways to get them involved. 

Post # 8
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

What are you asking them to help with? 

I didn’t really need any help from my BM other than maybe looking for our dresses and then they have been planning my shower.  They offered some other help, I went to a fun bridal show with one of them…but I really don’t have that much for them to do.  I’m not going to make them do DIY stuff or stuff envelopes with me. I guess I don’t really think that’s their job to do.

What all can you possibly be needing them to do 9-10 months out?  It’s not really anyone else’s job to help you with the wedding other than your FI.  Maybe your parents…

One of my BM did want to help out more and I told her she could come to a cake tasting with me and to pick up my dress but she ended up not being able to come because she had something else to do.  No big deal…it’s not really her responsibility so I can’t be upset about it.

Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ImagineDragon24:  My first thought was to hire a wedding planner. I’m sorry OP but YOUR wedding = YOU have to do everything and your FI should help you. I would never want to ask my bridesmaids and, as a bridesmaid, I wouldnt want to help with a bunch of stuff either. I work 8:30-5 M-F and that’s it.

Post # 10
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

When I was MOH I only helped when I was asked. I didn’t think to offer- it wasn’t my party!

Post # 11
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, if they did offer to help, and now they aren’t actually doing it, then I can see why you are upset, definitely. I just don’t really know of a way to bring it up without it turning into a big issue.

Post # 12
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@kes18:  good question….what on earth do you NEED help with now when the wedding isnt for almost a year. Mine is in 2.5 months and I dont even need anything yet. OP, please do not stress yourself out already.

Post # 13
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s your wedding. It isn’t your mother’s, or brother’s, or bridesmaid’s. It’s your wedding.

 

I planned a wedding 1,200 miles from my venue. My MoH lived 3,000 miles from the venue. My other bridesmaids were spread out all over California. We all have stressful days but no one has to help you and going bridezilla on them is not going to make them want to help you. They are your bridesmaids and your friends & family. They are not your slaves, servants or centerpiece makers. They are there to stand beside you on the day of, not endure your anger because they aren’t working fast enough or good enough for you.

 

Ask them politely. Ask them for help. Bribe them with lunch. I am telling you now that nobody likes or respects a bridezilla. Keep your temper in check and do what needs to be done without getting pissed off. If they don’t help. that sucks but they are under no obligation to help. Just take a breather, have a glass of wine and get into turbo gear.

ETA: Just saw your wedding date. What the hell do you need help with? You have a year to plan your wedding or do whatever the hell you’re expecting of them. Christ, you’ve got a long time for anything to get done. Take a breath and cool your jets.

Post # 14
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Hyperventilate:  I just noticed your day passed. Are u going to do a recap?

Post # 15
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@gelaine22:  I thought about it but decided against it! I’ll probably post a few pictures when I get home… we’re still in California where the wedding was, we’re flying home to Oklahoma tomorrow and I’ll have access to my computer and not this shitty mac. Haha.

Post # 16
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I dont want to be repetitive, BUT Your wedding is way too far away to start freaking out on people now. Don’t make it an issue or you might truly find yourself doing it all on your own when it gets closer. 

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