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I'm so sorry you feel sad Jaxx. I'm sure that it is coming sooner than you think it will and we are here to vent!
And you aren't the hippopotamus!
((HUGS)) rest assured we're here. i burst into tears a few months ago when i learned that ALL of my former classmates were married :D ALL OF THEM! I was like OMG... I think if I would have stayed in TN and not gone away for college perhaps that would have been me except it would have been to the wrong person.
our times will come too.. soon enough this time will seem but a distant memory
I'm so sorry that u are feeling this way but i 2nd crebre, our time will come. hopefully soon!!!!
Keep the faith...i get the same feeling ... i was down last night for now i found out my cousin spoiled my christmas proposal... but just keep the faith and try to enjoy the rest of the Girlfriend life...
I feel the same way. My anniversary, 1 year, was Friday and I was hoping for it, but it didn't come. I felt awful, even worse when I saw how many women got engaged on my anniversary weekend. Maybe this will be over soon. I can't be on the girlfriend list forever.
I am distracting myself with buying a house, so that helps!
I feel the same way, too, especially after C told me that it wouldn't be until after our cruise in January (even though I told him a while ago that my dream proposal would be a Christmas one). I hope it happens for you soon! I know it can be hard to see so many other people get engaged, even if you're happy for them.
Fear not! It will happen in all due time.
In the meanwhile, focus on the NOW. I mean the happy parts now. If there's too much focus on why you aren't, or on things lacking, your relationship might suffer thus leading to no engagement!
I seriously decided to not mention it at all. It worked. I had a blast this whole entire year and we did amazing things and it all culminated this month with us finally getting engaged.
Try it. I swear it works! And it is also a way to take pressure off of things. Guys do get pressured and I know that the whole time I had felt wierd about this (first few months of 2009) T was actually paying off the ring. It took him until November btw.
Ugh...I know how you feel. I was dreading all the holiday parties for the single reason that I knew many people who were recently engaged and I wasn't. (Plus all the people asking me if I was getting a ring for Christmas. Which no...I am not.)
The worst was one party where we knew the host but no one else. When we entered the host introduced us to everyone by saying: "Hey guys, this is Hisfirstname Hislastname and Taylor...uhhh....not Hislastname though."
Gee...thanks for the reminder. :\
hang in there jaxx. i know how sucky the feeling is but just remember that everything happens in their due time.
Oh, honey, I think we all know how you feel. Waiting is hard, but I do think that you have to enjoy the now as well. You guys have been talking about rings and now you've even looked and you have an idea what you like. It's not a matter of it -- just when so that is one step closer. In a way, this is like the last of your singledom. Maybe try to enjoy that idea too -- that's what I'm doing (or trying to! lol...).
When it is your time, it will happen. Enjoy your relationship right now. We have all been there, so hang in :)
Aww thanks so much ladies for all the support! You ladies always know how to make a girl smile! I'm feeling a bit better today, but still kinda in the dumps.
I don't talk to my BF about anything marriage/engagement related at all. We haven't actually had a conversation about it in almost 2 months and he was the last person to bring it up. Part of it might be that he's not talking about it, in the sense that he's not really ever said anything like "I'm excited to be married to you" or anything like that. Though he always tells me loves me and that [mush alert!] I'm his "sweetie," I don't actually know how he feels about getting married beyond his very matter of fact declaration that "Of course I want to marry you." He is truly great, and I try to focus on what makes me happy about him and our relationship, but easier said than done.
I think this holiday season is particularly hard because said best friend that recently got engaged is also good friends with one of my BF's sisters and is pretty close with my BF's family, so I'm sure it's going to come up yet again when we're visiting his family for Christmas later this week. He's kind of the last man standing even in his own family (both of his sisters are married are even starting families and they are both younger than him), so I'm sure we're also going to get the elbow-in-the-ribs-when-are-you-guys-getting-married. Ugh. I know in my heart that it will all be totally worth the wait in the end, but being on the tail end of all the weddings and engagements is really hard.
Thanks again bees!!
Hey hunny bun!
I know you feel sad exepcially this time of year but dont worry, our time WILL come. I know everyone always tell us that but you have to keep your head up.
Sendind some NYC love your way. We are always hear to listen...
smooches!
Don't worry! Plus, don't compare yourself to others. Everyone's situation is different, it's not as black and white as a single, engaged or married status. You have to do what's right for you and I would personally rather be happily dating, working towards a proposal than unhappily engaged or married. Hang in there!
Thanks lolaj - can use some local bee love!! i hope you have good holidays!!
thanks moderndaisy - i am trying not to compare myself to other people, but seriously, when you have been together the longest of E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E you know (seriously, everyone) you start to wonder.
as an aside, i'm thinking maybe can whip up some engagement chicken next week when i'm off.... hehehe. think that'll oil up the machine?? ;) it seems to be working for folks around here...
MissAsB - I may not be a Hippopotamus, but many days I feel like one! ;)
Poor thing....sending positive vibes your way...it will happen when the time is right and you will be over the moon:-) In the meantine, just focus on you....what do you need to work on to be the kind of wife he will need emotionally, intellectually and spriritually. What about your personal short-term and long-term goals? Education/career goals?...heck maybe you've always wanted to run a marathon....lol...just focus on what you want to do:-)
trying to get there Mrs2theDr - i have a week off from work starting on Thursday, and I am hoping to catch up on some much needed "me" time. marathons aren't my thing, but i need to start dealing with finishing my masters program which i put off thinking about and dealing with this whole semester because work was so crazy. my only other area of improvement is finances and i've already started to take some steps toward saving money and paying off credit card debt, etc. but i think that's generally very good advice and i will try to do just that. it becomes difficult when this kinda stuff gets thrown in your face and you literally just want to crawl into a hole and cry.
@taylor - i just rearead your post. OUCH!! that's so cruel. i can't believe someone had the bad juedgement to do that! ugh! and seriously, when people ask us if we're getting a ring for Christmas, WTF?? i've had at least 5 people ask me that. my answer has been f*** if i know!!! sigh. at least we have each other.
@curlydreamer - if only i had friends.... i know that's a sad statement and i do have friends, ish. i just work so much that i am so exhausted all the time and have no energy to try to make plans. so unfortunately i haven't been at a place where i have had a jumpin' social life for some time, which is sad. i wish i could just go out on the town and live it up like i was 23-24 again, but alas, duty calls!
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...about STILL being neither engaged nor married at this point both in my life and in the year. I think I can honestly say it's really agonizing. I saw a good friend of mine from college on Friday night who was teasing my BF and asking him what he got me for Christmas, and when he gave the "Oh I don't know... I'm not telling" bullet-dodging response, she said "I hear this is the year of fine jewelry!" and he just kind of chuckled in an awkward way...then I was at a party tonight where literally 1/3 to a half of the time I was at the party was spent talking about weddings and engagement rings... not to mention that it seems highly likely that the couple hosting the party will be getting engaged over the holidays....
I feel like I'm living out one of my favorite childhood books that was called But Not the Hippopotamus (if you've never read or heard of it, it's a book about all these different animals that can do different, and each page ends with "...but not the Hippopotamus" because the Hippo is always feeling or being left out). I know I'm preaching to the choir, and I know it's only a matter of time, but I just can't help being bummed out about it. I feel like there's some sort of cosmic force aligning to rub in my unnecessaarily long singledom. Sigh.
Thanks for listening bees!