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i think you might be reading too much into this. If she allows you to come, the her FI's closest friend should be allowed to come, and he wants to bring his wife. And if they come then they have to invite her cousin, etc. Small, immediate family only means just that. They may have drawn a hard line about inviting people, and though she loves you very much, she and her FI agreed on immediate family only. She invited you to the reception, so it is not like she is snubbing you. Ive read several threads on this board about women planning very small ceremonies and dealing with the outfall of offended people.
I can feel your disappointment! I had two friends that had a committment ceremony and asked me if I didn't mind skipping the ceremony so that I could be at the house when the caterer! I was sooooo hurt! I finally called back and said "I will do what ever you want me to do but I am very sad to miss your ceremony!" They changed their minds and I attended. But in this case they only could have 15 people in the place the ceremony was being held. Your friend might have a limit on the number of attendees and maybe that's why they are limiting to family only.
So sorry! But keep in mind that most people won't be attending so it's no just you!
At city hall, ceremonies are really *very* intimate and I wouldn't view your friend's response as a slight. San Francisco's city hall, for instance, limits the number of guests to six - for a lot of people that doesn't really even allow for their immediate families. Be happy that she wants you to celebrate with them at the reception - that's an honor too :-).
My cousin got married at the same place and most of our family and his wifes attended :S I'm respecting her wishes, as I know it's not just me who's only at the evening do.
She isn't really having a hen party/bachelorette party, just going out for a meal with her mum, dad and sister the night before. I offered for us to go out, probably catch a film (she isn't the stay out, drink all night, kiss a bald man's head kind of gal!), but she turned it down as FI isn't going out with the boys. *shrug* I guess I'll keep on stitching her wedding gift! (it's a cross stitch of the me to you tatty teddys getting married)
Thanks for listening guys :) xx
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My best friend gets married next month. She and her FI have been engaged for 3 years. They are both still at universtity doing post grad qualifications. They are getting married now so the law is on their side should something happen to the other....
Anyway, she's having a very small wedding, I'm invited to the reception and I'm really looking forward to it. I sent her a text message today asking her if it was ok if I came to the registry office to see her and her FI get married. She politely thanked me for asking to check but she is having immediate family only at the ceremony.
I won't lie, I'm really sad about it! I totally appreciate her decision and why she wants to keep things small, but I always imagined we'd be there for each other when it came to our weddings.
About 4 years ago we had a BIG falling out. My then bf had broke up with me (he just didn't love me like that anymore) and I just wanted some consoling, or even distracting. She basically said to me that he was a loser anyway and made her sister uncomfortable. This did not help, I never asked for her opinion on him and we didn't speak for 6 months (this all happened around my 21st birthday. urgh).
I realised later on that our friendship was better than this, that we were both right and both wrong at the same time, I shouldn't have over reacted, and she should have adopted 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'. I have REALLY made an effort since then to keep in touch and meet up and such (I went away to University, she stayed local). For the large part we're as good friends as we ever were. But since I've been away at uni I find it hard to spend time with her, as she's always busy. I now work full time and she's in the middle of a PhD. I don't have many friends since moving home (another frustrating story) as they all have moved away.
I really miss our girly nights in, chatting away for hours on the phone. I secretly wonder if she's still not happy with how things were before (we've agreed to disagree and as far as I can tell there are no problems). I'm worried it's just me. I know we've grown up and moved on.
I hope this is making some sort of sense. I think I'm worrying about a problem that isn't really there and that what our friendship is now is what it will be now we have future husbands and careers :S
P.s. We meet up at the moment about once every 3 months, and normally as a foursome