- 7 years ago
So, I am starting my second anonymous thread because I really don’t want anything I say about this subject to be traced back to my real username.
A few months ago, I wrote about FMIL leaving FFIL for a much, much younger “man.” The guy she left him for is 3 years younger than FI…25 years younger than FMIL. You can read about it here.
If you don’t want to do that, a quick summary of the situation is that the day FFIL confronted FMIL about the affair, things got ugly. FI called FMIL’s parents because he didn’t know who else he could turn to, he thought his mother would listen to them. FI’s grandparents were very rude to him and called him a liar (regarding the affair) and told him that he should be ashamed to call himself a son if he wasn’t going to support his mother in her decisions. They also sent FFIL an email saying that he was deranged and they had never liked him, and that he and FI were just alike. Also that they would never forgive FI for not supporting his mother.
3 months have gone by and FMIL is living somewhere with her “boyfriend,” we assume, but she has not contacted FI since that day. However, wedding planning must go on with or without his family, so I sent out the STD’s as planned. I couldn’t send his mother one because we don’t know where she is staying.
Today FI got a card in the mail from his grandparents with two sentences written in it: “We will not be making the trip to [STATE] for your wedding. We wish the best for you both.” Along with a check (small amount).
I am, of course, going to send them a thank you note and will still send them an invitation, but it’s difficult for me not to be hurt that they will not come to our wedding. This crazy situation with FI’s parents shouldn’t have had anything to do with him, yet his grandparents seem determined that they will never forgive him (for what, I don’t know!). I assume they are still in touch with FMIL (she’s changed her phone number and didn’t want FI to have it), so there is no telling what kind of lies they are hearing from her. It’s possible that they may be offended that FMIL did not receive a Save-the-Date…but we don’t know where to send it!
It’s just not fair that FI does not have support from his family during this time in his life. FMIL has destroyed her relationship with him and apparently made sure that his relationship with his grandparents would be destroyed as well.
I guess now all I can do is try not to let it get to me, continue planning the wedding, and write FI’s grandparents a thank you note when all I really want to do is be as rude to them as they have been to FI!