Post # 1
I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
-My wedding is on a Saturday night, with the rehearsal dinner on Friday night.
-My fiance and I have room blocks at two hotels in downtown Wilmington- for $110 and $129/night.
-Our 1 bedroom apartment is a 15 minute walk/5 minute drive away from these hotels. On the wedding night my fiance and I will be in a honeymoon suite, so our apartment will be empty. We’ve offered our apartment to the bridal party for the wedding night if they don’t want to pay for a hotel room.
-I have 2 bridesmaids and at least 1 date who we need to figure out housing for Friday and Saturday night. Everyone else is local and/or taken care of.
-I’d REALLY like to stay with my fiance in our apartment, in our own bed Friday night… F you, tradition. I’d feel the most at ease and comfortable that way, and I’d probably get more sleep that way. We’d part ways in the morning and see eachother again at the altar 🙂
-If I do this it would mean that 2 of my bridesmaids and dates would have to shack up in a hotel room. I’d hate for them to spend money when they don’t have to.
-If my fiance and I separated the night before the wedding, my apartment would be free for people to sleep in, and a bridesmaid could come stay with me at my mom and dad’s house. It would make things easier on other people but would not make me happy…
-I’d also like to add that all of this would be resolved if my maid of honor’s (locally based) parents weren’t being jerkoffs… they aren’t letting her live-in boyfriend stay in their house because “we don’t know him, and there are expensive things in the house”. Great. Thanks, guys. So now she needs a place to stay. They are traveling up from Florida for my wedding and the boyfriend hasn’t met the parents yet. I haven’t met him yet either but I trust my best friend enough to know that she wouldn’t be dating someone who will ransack my apartment. ugh. If they were allowed to stay with the parents my other non-local bridesmaid would have been able to squeeze in there as well, and all will be resolved.
Post # 3
Why can’t you and your Fiance sleep in your bed on Friday night and all the BMs sleep on the floor in the family room on that night?
I must admit though that I had a ton of people staying at my house before the wedding and it was really hard on me. It stressed me out and I hated seeing people sleep on the floor when I couldn’t provide beds for them. It also meant a lot of cleaning and extra cooking. I had offered to pay for hotels but none of them wanted that.
Post # 4
Absolutely stay with your Fiance in your bed.
If I am travelling to an out-of-town wedding, I expect to pay for a hotel room. I would never expect (or want) the bride and groom to make their lives difficult so I could use their bed.
Post # 5
I would advise against having anyone bunk with you the night before if you’re staying in your apartment with your Fiance. Darling Husband and I stayed together the night before in our bridal suite and it was soooo nice to have that extra time to spend together without any interruptions. The morning of is going to be stressful enough so having extra people in your space when you’re trying to shower and prep for the day (even before doing any actual wedding prep) may prove to be an issue.
Could your Bridal Party members just share a hotel room (get 2 fulls/queens instead of just one bed)? I personally don’t think $110 is very much for a hotel room and splitting that is even cheaper. It seems like everyone would be more comfortable that way.
Post # 6
@PinkMagnolia: If I get the chance to stay with my fiance I’d like time to ourselves, honestly. And based on your last paragraph, I don’t want to deal with that!
Post # 7
@UpstateCait: I agree with not having anyone else in my apartment if I’m there! I want to be aloneeee. Having 3-4 people share a room is an option, but they do charge you something like $10-20 for each extra person over 2 people. It would just have the potential to be awkward since the dates have never met, and they’re still spending unnecessary money. But in all honesty this is probably what is going to end up happening.
Post # 8
My vote is this: You are not being selfish. It is your wedding and if you and your Fiance would like to stay home together, by all means – DO.
The others involved are ADULTS. They don’t need to be taken care of, they can figure out their own arrangements.
It wouldn’t even enter my (selfish) mind to be so worried about other people’s arrangements. You will definitely need to have had a good night’s sleep the night before your wedding, to look and feel your best.
You only get one wedding! (Hopefully, lol). Make it the best for yourself you can. The other people involved will be just FINE.
Edit: I also agree that those prices seem dirt cheap for hotel rooms to me. I’d be delighted to pay that as your guest or wedding party.
Post # 9
When I go to an out of town wedding I expect to figure out my own accomodations. I’d just stay at your place like you want to and let them make their own arrangements.
Also, you just don’t tell the hotel about the extra people.
Post # 10
@September29: Is it a big hotel? Just dont tell them there are that many people if you are willing to sleep on the floor and not have to ask for a rollaway. Otherwise,its only 10-20 a night split over 4 people? That’s not bad. Are they tight on money? Just being cheap? If the first, I’d just go stay at my parents house. (I had to stay at my parents house the night before – superstitions). That’s just personal choice though, I wouldnt care and dont really care about that *one* night with him if it’d help some stuggling friends out, I have the rest of my life to share my bed with him.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Can the bridemaids stay with her parents, and the boyfriend crash on your guy’s couch?
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2013 - ceremony at a gazebo outside, reception at neighboring restaurant on a lake
@Mrs.KMM: My thoughts exactly!!
Post # 13
My thoughts are grown adults should be able to figure out their own accomodations. I would never ever expect someone to figure out where I was staying, regardless if I was in a bridal party. If you want to stay w/ your Fiance, then do so!
Post # 14
Could you and your Fiance stay at your parents’ house and let the wedding party stay in your apartment? Or would your parents be willing to host the single bridesmaid so that the other bridesmaid and her Boyfriend or Best Friend could have a hotel room to themselves? Paying for one night in a hotel room really isn’t that bad–I think it’s very nice of you to let them stay in your apartment on the wedding night.
Post # 15
thank you everyone for your comments!
an update… i’m saying f u world, and staying in my apartment with my love the night before our wedding.
and i’m really excited about it! it’s going to be so nice to wake up relaxed and have a few moments to ourselves in the morning. im glad to say it also will ensure that i dont wimp out a do a first look. (i really never wanted to do a first look, until i started fearing that my nerves would get the better of me before i walked down the aisle). so i’ll be leaving him around 8am and i’ll see him again when our ceremony starts at 2:30 🙂 🙂
the girls can handle splitting a $110 hotel room for the night, you guys are absolutely right. and if my maid of honor flies in a bit early, i’ll host her on thursday night as well… but friday i want my place all to myself.
Post # 16
oh for fucks sake you guys….
TODAY is the last day to book hotel rooms.
and guess what my damned bridesmaids haven’t done?
yes, they knew. i reminded them… multiple times within the past 2 weeks.
they had better figure this shit out.
i am NOT backing down. if anyone is backing down it should be my maid of honor’s father!
someone talk me off the ledge.
i feel my inner bridezilla coming out… and its hungry.