Post # 1
My FI and I were friends for about 1.5 and he was married. No biggied as I had no idea we’d ever be more than friends. About two months after the split up we started dating and yes, it was too soon. That’s how it worked out and we tried to just take our time but we were just too drawn to each other and feel like we have been put together for a reason.
I’m scared to death. The wedding is 2.5 weeks away and it’s really starting to hit home. What if the same thing happens to us as it did to him and his ex? We’re not the same and he’s changed a lot since then but I don’t want to realize 10 years later this was all not such a good idea.
I know you’re suposed to take your past experiences and learn from them and I think we both have but this is the first time I’ve really opened up to someone this much in a very long time and now I’m getting scared. He’s not nervous at all and I feel like my cold feet are running rampant.
To top it off I hate my dress and wish I could get a new one 🙁
Post # 3
**calm, soothing voice**:
You love him. He loves you. You were friends and knew each other. If you had waited to start dating, the end of you story would have been the same: you’re gettin married in two weeks with the man you love, the one you’re supposed to be with. It didn’t work out with his ex for some reason that will not happen with you because you aren’t the same people with the same stories…
Take a deep breath… it’s completely normal to have doubts right before you’re about to make this huge commitment. Talk it through with someone you really, really trust. You can never know what will happen in 10 years, but you can choose to do everything possible to make it work. And… so far, it’s working well, right?
Post # 4
I agree that it is perfectly normal to have doubts about this huge decision in your life. That being said, it sounds like you have both changed since you have been in a relationship. Talk it over with someone who you are close with like egb suggested and they will show you how the two of you are in a completely different relationship than your FI and his ex. Just so you know, my husband cheated on people before we dated but I didn’t worry about it because I know he is a different person than he was then.
Post # 5
I agree with what other have posted, so I will go stright to the dress issue!
If you hate it, do you have it in your budget to walk into an off-the-rack type place and find a dress you LOVE (like David’s Bridal, for instance)? If you do not have that type of money, do you have the money to bring the dress to a tailor/semestress and have them alter it to make you happy? They can do wonders to necklines, fronts, backs, bottoms, and insides! Could you remake this dress into your dream dress with a little tweeking? And if that is not a possiblity- then have any females you know gotten married in the last few decades? Maybe they would let you wear their dress or maybe alter their dress to fit you? Many moms seem to have dresses in their closets they’d love their daughers to wear. And fianlly, if all else fails- get married naked! ;P
Post # 6
I think cold feet are normal. Your looking at things from both sides. What you need to remember now is that you love him and that he loves you. I am sure that you’ve talked about this together. Trust yourself and trust him.